In awe

When spring is cooler than winter, there is something wrong here. We had a string of warm (mild) days but the these few days the temperature has been yo-yo-ing.

I didn’t feel like running. I could run in the dead of winter when it is 32 deg outside (ya this winter was not that cold). Now I tell myself, I can’t go out because it is 50. Actually tonight when I run it was actually 43 and it would drop down to 38-39. What happen to Spring? I had to don my winter clothes again. I went out with a long sleeves and then came back to grab a second layer.

But I did have a good run. Glad I went.

It always the case for many of my runs, I usually didn’t want to do it either for this reason for that reason. I glad I learn to overcome my tendency of making excuses and gone out any way and 99-100% of the time, I finished feeling great.

There were absolutely no one on the street. I was alone with three flash lights. I had a head lamp and cycling handheld lamp and a BeSeen blinker band strapped around my other hand.

Couple times I had to turn around to check because I heard footsteps behind me, like I was being chased. There was no one. They were my own steps echoing, maybe bouncing off a fence or an overpass wall.

Was it a moonless night? Probably. I had couple times fear running down my back. You know, I am not afraid of being alone but I am afraid of other people. There is an adage in my family, not being fearful of ghost but people. Weird isn’t?

I began humming. I like to hum and whistle duringy run, especially a long run, very longnrun. Sometimes, it is the same tune over and over again. It matches my footsteps, ory footsteps were keeping time. One after another they fall and reverberate on the sidewalk.

It was an eerie scene. Ocassionally, there was a car or two went by. We didn’t have a curfew, but people kind of know to stay at home. There were nothing open and nothing to do at night. There were no more bar or theater. There were no late meeting. People who were out were probably really essential workers going home from their work.

I reached the half way point and turned around. The run was too short. If only I have more time, I would run even a marathon. My legs were just warmed up. I could go on for a few more hours.

Yet I had to go home too. This why I love running. I love the feeling of being alone yet also in a community.

A few other day I was trying to explain why I run virtual races since most races were canceled. My friend thought I am talking nonsense. You go out, you run some number of miles and you upload your run data to some website and they mail you a medal or something. You pay for it. Yes, I could have ran my distance for free like every of my training runs I have been doing every day. Why race? Some how the idea that my run is a race makes it special.

I remember a passage in the Bible where because of David’s sin, God was sending s plague among the people. David realized he needed to offer a sacrifice to appease the Lord’s wrath. He was at this farmland and the owner of the place was willing to offer his land to David along with the animal fpr the sacrifice, but David told the man, to sell the land and animal to him at the market price because he would not offer something to the Lord that does’t cost him.

Running is really not a sacrifice for me, but I feel it is a bit hollow when I don’t have to spend money on it. Maybe other people won’t able to get it. Our dream and passion demands everything.

Why I run? It was few years ago, my girlfriend then got me into it. There were some lonely night or morning when I ran either from her place or to her place. We carpooled to work and instead of her picking me up, I rather run to her. It was that calm but eerie feeling I found running in the middle of night or early morning, I always want to experience over and over again.