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life

Day311 random rambling

Last night I couldn’t fall asleep again. It wasn’t because of worrying but because I was just too excited after a run. Reminded me why I shouldn’t run at night. Adrenaline was pumping through me in the wee hours.

So I wrote the below. It is kind of stupid rambling, which I am embarrassed to post, but it kind of make sense of what I am going through.

The older I am, the slower I become. Time seems to stop, like the last two weeks.

—-

Time moves so fast.

There are so much I want to do. Yet to do each thing takes up so much time.

When I am doing a lot, I feel tired.

When I am tired, I don’t feel like doing anything

There were times when I was not tired and I was also doing a lot. Those times were when I was young.

I tried two weeks without doing anything. I succeeded in doing nothing. I was afraid if I remain like that I could stay like that.

I looked back at all that I did. Some things were really impressive, but in the end I felt still was not enough.

I want to have a hobby, something I do besides work. When you work, you can’t remember what you do. On the day say you can’t work any more, like on your death bed, people won’t think on the day you went to work and put in a normal day of work. Yay, I set up the fax machine this week for my work place and I was proud of that, or I reconfigured the firewall at work, I was very proud of that too. I so much want to tell the whole world how I fixed those problems.

I felt accomplished, but mostly whenever I think back of the last few years, I can only recall one or two highlights of my life and none of them were work related. I remember my trip to the Grand Canyon a few years ago. For the first time in my life I traveled! Paid for with my own money and went and had a good time. My second trip was to Peru and stepped on the Inca Trail, and that was man Amazing! Holy Cow I was standing on an ancient site. My third trip was to Chile. No doubt not anything less. Of course I run and many if not all were marvelous (at least to me). They are like breath to me.

Work is important, but what give meaning to life, is usually the little things or time that I spent outside of work. I need work, but it does not define me. Yet we put so much time into it, especially for guys.

Who care that I solved seemingly impossible things at work? I enjoyed doing those a lot, but it is like normal. Done and forget about it. Move on to the next thing. But when it comes to doing something special outside of work, they are remembered for a lifetime.

When running won’t be fun any more is when I treat running as work. I work toward it to become better and to improve my performance. I hope one day that never happen. Recently though, running has taken a back seat. So reason for this post.

How do I know what I want to do?


This morning though, my muscles were sore. Boy. You always have to pay a price. 6 miles is causing me to limp. Ya, what did I do. Hope ya enjoy reading!

Categories
life

Forward

Day 91 / lent

Midweek is when I look toward the weekend. Not only because I can’t wait to finish my work but because what I will do on the weekend will determine what I should be doing today. Like if I have a big race coming up, then I should rest up now. It is either run or not to run and how many miles. There are still plenty work left, I can assure you that. With weekend only couple days away, I got to decide what to do now.

This coming weekend, I am overwhelmed with choices. 

Plan A: stick with the plan. Go out and run the Rock and Roll DC half marathon on Saturday, which I signed up like a year ago and then enjoy the Sunday off with my loving friend and go for a hike in the afternoon and dinner at night. A full day of worship.

Plan B: Same as A, but add a 10K run/ race on Sunday – Pot of Gold 10k. But the cost is I will miss worship unless I go to the 11 o clock service, but doing that will bump my Sunday class, which I enjoy attending.

Plan C: upgrade my half marathon to a full one and run on Saturday, basically not much time for anything else. C is for Craziness. I am definitely not ready to  run a marathon. Should I believe myself go run a marathon? And do A/B of Sunday.

Plan D: D is for Don’t run at all on Saturday but instead go on a hike with my friend on the North Mountain. On Sunday, I could do A/B.

Likelihood of doing each decreases as goes from A-D. 

I really can’t decide without some value system or goal. I might as well flip a coin and leave to chance. Truly I guess I am conflicted with between running and see my friend. Three of them was about more running and the last choice is no running.

If the way to evaluate is based on passion, I would pick either C and D. If I pick based on logic then it will be either A or B.

I have been doing my runs during the week but I haven’t completely recovered (since last Wednesday). Not sure why it is taking so long. Normally, just a good night sleep would bring me back to 100%. Plan D is a good plan because I’m tired and need the rest. My friend going say I am disobedient again, because I know I shouldn’t run but is going to run.

Last night, I ran 8 miles. I finished 4 miles with the club and did an additional 4 on my own because I thought I lost my head buff. So I was retracing the steps but couldn’t find it. I only discovered I had it over my neck the whole time when I got home and started undressing. I wouldn’t have run the extra four miles if not for this. It was really cold and I didn’t even realized the buff was on me.

This morning woke up with a stiff calf. Ya, I didn’t stretch after the run. I will take it easy tonight, no more running. Got to honor the day of rest.

I noted that lent has started. It is a time for some reflection.