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life

Day309 laying low

I have been off the radar for almost a week after finishing the GVRAT race. It is still on going but I haven’t put much effort into it. The initial goal of running 1000k is done. I could go for the 2000k or even 3000k. Any way.

Last few days have been a low point for me. When I run, I feel high, even when a run is very difficult and I would ask why am I doing this. But when I don’t run, it feels even worse.

I haven’t done much in my personal life or running. Everything seems come to a halt.

I am procastinating. Next week, July 4th weekend I will be heading to Atlanta to do my first 100 miler. It is a virtual race so I will be myself, but I will be running a actual mapped out course. Running aspect is tough. It is an endurance race. On top, it is the logistics, where to get food/drinks/bathroom. Since it is a self supported, I will carry most of stuff on me. There won’t be any place for me to swap out clothes or gear. Yup, lot of stuffs: flash light (s), phone, blinkers, safety reflector vest, socks, batteries, gps, watch, chargers, map, and turn-sheet. Navigation too will be tough, because I am poor at it. Then the stamina to stay awake and keep running. I am scared about the whole thing, so I have been hidding myself.

Instead, I have burried myself in a chinese web novel (translated of course, since I can’t read chinese). I am reading Reverend Insanity. It is quite good apparently, but the ideology behind it is kind of mess up, but still it makes you want to root for the bad guy, like Death Note. It is definitely a Rated R novel, for death, violence and gore.

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life

Day277 one of those days

Random Friday – I am ashamed to put up any number today, because I walked 75% of the time than run. 4 miles done. GVRAT total ~ 86-87.

My body is fine with minor fatigue here and there on my foot. My spirit though is not like yesterday. I rather skipped prayer meeting for a run but the run didn’t lift my spirit. One of those trade-offs.

Forgot what I was going to say. This will be one of those aimless blogs. I had great thoughts during the run and was going to write about those too, but now can’t recall them. Had it all plan out.

A fellow blogger was blogging about childhood favorite things. This brings to mind of songs I remember when I was a kid as I was running. I like to hum during my run. Today I hummed How Great Thou Art. I don’t know the lyric to it but in my childhood, that was something I remember.

I wish for a normal life, but nothing is normal. The stay-at-home is supposed to be normal. It likes this is what life is supposed to be. You get to spend more time at home and to do the things you always don’t have the time to do, like cleaning and endleas chores. Then I said it is not normal to stay at home. I never have enough time. Why life is always so hectic?

Then in the middle of my run, I got to plan out this race across the America for real. You can’t just wake up and run out the door for it. Same for the real run down at Chattanooga. I can’t just go and do it.

I figure for the next 10 years, I will need to take a break 3-4 times during the summer to reach some of life goals. Cross the America will take 4-6 months. Hiking the Appalachian too will take about that much time. I might want to throw in the PCT and CDT. And the question is if I have $50000 what would I spend it on? A running vacation or downpayment on a house? I am struggling whether to do the sensible thing or to do what my passion dictate.

This reminds me I still looking for a mission statement for this year or the next so that my life has some kind of anchor. I know I have one – Run.

Oh I finally remember what I was going to write. Nothing earth shattering. Many people who embark on this epic journey pf 1000k GVRAT wanted to watch some documentaries on running, or podcasts. Fpr me I don’t feel like reading or watching on any those right now. What I feel like reading is the Canterbury Tales, and the Pilgrim’s Progress.

Hope y’all have an awesome Friday and weekend!

Categories
life

day259 more the same

Blog. When I started blogging and following other people blogs, I often came across a few of the posts, that started off apologizing to users that they have been away for a time. I have seen blogs by the way side. I have one of mine too on livejournal that I haven’t updated in years. I have been telling myself, I try not be like that to leave for a long time without a heads up. I told myself, I will keep up with my blogging. I know it is mostly for my own benefits.

So I took a week off from here last week. It was not intended but might be becoming a habit for me, because I have nothing to write about in this coronavirus time. I usually blog when I have running to do and thoughts come to me that I can’t wait to write them down. I still can run, but I haven’t. No sure why is that. I know I could go outside each day and at least walk around the neighborhood for my own good. Instead, I’m just doing so vicarously by reading other people’s posts on here.

It is just that I like do things by a set routine. I wake up at a certain time, go to work at a certain time, train or run at a certain time and repeat them the next day. And of course I go wild on the weekend.

The truth is I am not so much worry about the coronavirus of how it affects me. Some people I know is deathly afraid of it. I know I can die if I catch it. At a time, yes that can be scary. Now though things seem to be getting better. I am not down playing it, but it is more a society problem than a personal problem. More a concern is like how and when are we getting back to work. We have a big problem on that front as a nation. Not just us, by around the world as well. I have been following the news in Hong Kong and they are just as bad on the economy side though they did pretty well on the virus containtment side.

But this short three weeks, now a month (if counting since March 7, when Virginia–DC area had their first coronavirus case) my schedule has been completely off. I could still try to keep the same routine, but really it is not the same. I only do two things now. Wake up, lay in bed for long long time then get to work, which is just me walking to my living room where my computer is, and then at the end of the day go back to my room. In between is cooking, getting food, throwing away trash, etc. That’s pretty much it. No trip. nothing after work hour. No TV or netflix because we don’t have those. Yes, reading blogs is my thing. I love those of you who post three or four entries a day!

My social run group and my church too, meet online. We do Zoom calling. For me it is kind of silly to do happy hour over Zoom conferencing. I haven’t joined my social running group for that. I should say toast to you with my milk glass. Cheer!

One benefit is I am saving a lot of money! Zippy. I was down on my luck — if I can say that, for overspending at the beginning of the year, and it got me to see what it means to live from paycheck to paycheck for a short time. With the coronavirus, I have nowhere to go. So my expenses basically has drop to zero, except for food and phones and some fixed payments like rents and loan payment. Thank you for all the hotel bookings, they were willing to refund me! At first I thought those thousands of dollars going down the drain. Zup, I am hording in cash! I saved thousand of dollars too for not eating out and or on transportation. Can you believe my commute cost me a thousand per month before? Food was too! Ya got to think what kind of food I ate that cost so much. Now only couple hundred for cooking my own meal. No more having to pay for parking for work! No haircuts either. I’m becoming a caveman.

Do I find myself having more time? I don’t know. Time is a fixed quantity. I should have 3-6 hours more, however, they get filled up with random looking out the window time. Navelgazing? Gosh, I hope it hasn’t been just browsing the web.

I finished reading a web novel this week and reread couple of the old ones and currently do not plan on starting on another 2000 chapters book. I don’t plan to do any review on them. The current one I finished is “Sovereign of The three Realms” (SOTR). Eh. Not recommended.

I have more complaints about the website than the novel. It limits how many chapters I can read unless I pay. I don’t mind paying, but the site organization sucks. Unless there is a compeling novel I want to read, just randomly browsing for one I like is a very difficult thing to do on that site. I won’t say the name. It was like reading on my WP site. Even if I know a particular book or chapter I want to read, it was very hard to get to it. I thank them for offering bookmarking. I could use my own bookmark as well (I usually don’t close my browser now, just keep the page opens until next time).

True though, I haven’t been paying for their novels in the past and had enjoying reading for free for last couple years. Thst is like 10k plus chapters. Oh gosh, what a time drain. Now they made it impossible to binge read, unless I pay. So I have been searching for a new site. I am a hypocrite, haha :). I really do appreciate the army of volunteered translators that make reading novels in other languages possible for English readers.

That’s my week. Ciao.