New Year Resolutions / What I want for Christmas
Time goes by so fast. Couple months ago, I was training life-and-death for my biggest race at the time. I was in a rock and a hard place…due to many things coming together at the same time. Of course, I could just walk away and not run it. But the thought though was I’d rather run and suffer (or die trying) than not running it. Indeed it could have been bad.
I did come away with a bit of pain. I am not sure if my legs would ever recover – at least any time soon without going through PT sessions.
I was always a bit psychotic – extreme so to speak. I had to look up. Yes, I think I am a bit crazy. Now I am sitting in the comfy of my home, and happy I did it. There were so much happened between then. I did several other races. Wrote up reports on those.
Every year between October to December, I lumped these months into one giant blob.
I never really get around to asking what I want for Christmas. This year, it was a new computer. I reached a lot of personal goals. Yes, a lot of the goals were limited by my financial condition…like buying a fast bike. I held that off for a few years because money was not there. This year I actually could affort it finally! However, I did not go and purchase it, because I haven’t biked for nearly two years.
For those who know me, I shop around a lot exploring all options, but in the end I usually don’t get anything (due to cost). Window shopping is my thing.
I didn’t buy my bike or the computer. That was a long digression. Kinda. I had enough time to think on what I want, no not just the computer by something bigger.
- run more. Run first thing in the morning
- run faster. 4:15 marathon…is that faster than last year?
- run farther
- run longer
- be more organized
My resolution is different from last year or the year before. I am circling around the topic. Actually I wanted to have a blog post on identity.
After 5 years of running, and in my 6th year now, my identity is tied to my running. If anything, I want to be identify as one who runs. Maybe now it is time for a rebranding: to man who travels.
I actually don’t want to announce my goals or resolutions. Firstly, I read, once you announce your goals, it is twice as hard in getting them done because there is ton of blockers, trying to derail your plan. Second, I have not worked out the details. Third, I am a bit shy to share my goals to the world.
My mom recent illness really helped me to clarify if I really want to pursuit my goals. During that time, I have been called selfish. It hit hard but I came away accepting the label. I am willing to achieve my goals above all else. My mom did not really get mad at me but she did mention later that my goal has to be balanced out with the needs of those around me. The answer is definitely yes I want to go for crazier goal in view of all that happened. TL;DR…I thought running 100 miles was crazy, I am ready for crazier thing.
I might have flirted with the idea of hiking the appalachian trail or running across America or even traveling around the world. I have been and still is pushing it toward some distance future. What I want to say is, it is a step closer to reality today than six months ago.
The issue has been how crazy can I get to do it. Now I think I am crazy enough to go for it. Why I am saying it is crazy? Because it requires a step of faith — like the bibical Abraham to leave his father’s house and go to a country he knew not. I am no Abraham. I don’t hear voices telling me to leave, but I am more convicted to leave now than six months ago.
My biggest hold is and has been safety (financial security) at where I am now and it will definitely will scale if I don’t do anything crazy.
The idea always have been make enough money then leave. It is the concept called Financial Independent F* Money. At least to have a way so I can come back and still have a job or some way to earn a living (like video blogging). It is always down to money, right? If we have enough money then we don’t have to work. I did some calculation – the only way I don’t have to work is when I retire at old age. I don’t have enough now to retire early. So basically I can’t do it in a conventional sense. For most people, the story ends here. Only way is to be unconventionally. Luckily, there are a few people who did just that and I can follow their footsteps (e.g. Cycling Jin – UniverseWithMe, who biked around the world the last 7-8 years and started out with literally nothing).
I guess the biggest hurdle is always trying to convince myself.
Have I mentioned before? I am thinking of retiring to a different country to a place that has a lower cost of living. How is this related? Well I plan to use the years remaining to visit those countries I plan to retire to. I have not fully thought out the idea yet, but yes there are a few youtube channels on this topic. Not trying to convince any one else or whether it is smart. It is something I want to do.