Day460 content

Expect great things and attempt great things. This is a quote from William Carey, a missionary, I wish to make it my own. I believe all great people have similar bigger than life vision for themselves and what they accomplish seems to us to be on another level.

I’m no hero, but I have been thinking what can make me feel alive. I like to run, at least currently. I like making money. I am seeking thrill. If it is near having a chance of failure, it would get me excited.

I have been thinking a lot on a vision/mission statement. At one point last year (and even the year before), I thought I had it. Then during the fourth quarter of last year, it was put to test and it made me doubt if my statement is realistic or practical.

My original statement is to run is much and in as many places as possible in my life. It has been what I eat and breathe for the last few years.

It is even my reason for existent. It sustained me when I don’t feel like running.

There is though a short coming. It did not explain why I run and what it means for other people around me.

A mission statement should give a purpose and inspiration to self (and others), such as why others should join or support me on my attempt.

I went back to the drawing board. And I came away with a stronger resolve to attempt harder goals. Running just marathons has been a too narrow focus.

It reaffirmed me that I definitely will go and do what my heart yearns. Those who know me, know that I have a few big goals in life, center around running 1. to run in all 50 states, 2. to hike the AT/PCT/CDT, and 3. to run across the US, lastly maybe to walk around the world. All these have in common of doing something physically hard. And I have been struggling of putting the dream to reality the last 5-6 years.

I draw comparison to Pokemon. I am a bit older (at least “of age”) when Pokemon came out, but its motto is “got to catch them all”. The opening theme song sums it all up, I want to be the very best. Ashe wants to learn and train pokemons. Naruto wants to be Hokake. In One Piece, Luffy wants to be a pirate. I want to run.

Not sure if I wrote about this, but it is likely I already had. Apologize in advance for being repetitive. After 400+ posts, I lost track on what I already posted or not.

I came across a ytube video from TheStockGuy on about we only have about 300 days in our whole life we get to use it solely for ourselves. What he meant is most of our time from birth to the grave are doing many mundane things that we have not much say but are essential, like going to school or going to work, keeping up our body and doing choirs, eating/sleeping/and even sitting in traffic etc. even empty periods of not doing anything (vegging), and there is very little time left to do that we can use it for our own. His lesson is we should treasure a special time we can spend with our family and maximize that time.

Most would say wait a minute, we got to have more time than just a year of our life for ourselves. What about when we retire shouldn’t there be plenty of time to do what we like?

Well I am not sure if his math is correct, but I tend to believe him that we have very short time to do the things that count. We are indeed very “busy” but usually busy for something that in a long term perspective is of little value.

I’ve heard of one of his examples whether it was from the same video or from another, that when you have the time to do the things you like, the people you want to be with is likely no longer be around. He was talking about spending time with one’s parent. The time and opportunity when both generations overlapped is very few and short. I can relate, that by the time I can travel/run, I might not have the health to so it.

I’m not a sentimental person and I rarely spend my time with others, being an (or a maybe extreme) introvert. I am though like to think back on things. I tried to count up to 300 instances (this is without even considering whether my family was there) where it has been meaningful in my life, well, not all my life, but since when I started blogging on here. I know I have written 460 posts to-date, and at least some of them are significant or have recorded of a significant event.

I had my work cut out because I maintain couple special pages like bookmarks, races I ran, and trips I had taken where I could assemble my information. The conclusion is I have a list about 60 things I have done or places I have been in the last 4-5 years. What surprised me is the list is rather short. I was hoping somewhere to maybe around 300.

The math is probably right. I don’t do anything that exciting for the most part, maybe once a month I go somewhere. It means like 12 times a year, and if over 30-40 years, there maybe 300-400 things done that are noteworthy. This is if you really make that one a month time for yourselves.

Maybe it is about the mentality. Looking back, even the last five years, if it not for the journaling, I would not have remembered much. I need to make a mental note to make every day special, and every month, and every year too, otherwise, time just goes by and I’ll be sitting here again next year thinking what did I do.

Related to this is I forgot a lot already even of the things I wrote down. I know the original intent of this journal project is so that I won’t forget as I try to reach my goal of running marathons in all 50 states and other things.

As you can see, I was not laser-focused in reaching my goal but had meandered through many things. I could blame the pandemic and also the lack of funding, etc. Still, I could have been more focused in deciding what things to do or places to go.

So what!? Nothing. Life goes on regardless we mindful or not.

I have no answer to my own question. I normally start the year expecting great things. I looked back the last five years and every year can be said is better than the one before. I am not purely seeking that this year will top or pop the year before, but wouldn’t it great if that happens? What am I expecting? What is different this year?

I signed up for most of my races already except for maybe two or three left to do, waiting for the registrations to be open (Iron Mnt, Devil Dog, LakeRidge, maybe OGU, and maybe Ann Arbor Marathon). I know like 90% how the year will be like in term of scheduling. It just feels too normal almost like the year prior. In fact since the start of the pandemic every year seems the same.

As I think about it, this new year indeed did not start with a bang. How can I improve on this.

OK, to brighten things a bit, my running team for around the world (Craw), had just finished Region 8. We as a team, ran 20000 miles for a year and half, and there are only 4 regions remaining, about 10,000 miles to go. We hope to finish them this year. It is kind of cool.

I want to leave a note to myself – I have been (or am pressured) trying to seek new things, as streamers call them — for contents/optics, maybe contents for my blog. In a sense too I am seeking contents for my life (not contentment but content) with me as the audience.

The point is not to seek something outrageous like streamers would do, but something meaningful like sleeping on the back porch one winter night! I did that a few days ago while testing out a sleeping bag during the subzero temperature we had. What the point? Doing some quarky things.

The blog is too long and I’m tired, so will have to continue on another day. Also I hit a writter block…what it means to be great/doing great things in my own word.

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