In awe

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  • Day310 when you are in a knot

    Morning:

    I feel the noose tightening so I couldn’t fall asleep last night, thinking about the run coming up in a few days.

    A little background. I signed up for this 100 mile ultra (Great southern endurance run, GA,US) I don’t know, maybe at the beginning of summer. It is a virtual run, meaning, I will be running alone, but the course is real (meaning on location). We have 34 hours to finish, which is plenty of time. The good runners could finish under 24 hours, me, maybe looking at 30 hours. 5-6 people already did it. They have been reporting between 29-31 hours. That will be my goal too. I could do a 100k in 13-14 hours, so 26-27-ish hour is a reasonable target.

    So with my cellphone I had the turn sheet open and a map spread out on the bed, I traced the route until mile 80. There are twenty more miles to go. And the turn direction gets shorter. There are about 10 more turns left to go. One of the direction was to run 8 miles straight. Sweet. That is probably the longest distance without a turn for this whole route. In comparison, the first 80 miles have about 5 pages of notes. Grr, there are so much information, a turn at every quarter mile.

    I need a second study session to get the last 20 miles.

    Evening:

    I spent the evening looking over the last twenty miles. Apparently there are only two streets I need to know. Stone Mountain Trail and Peach St. Most of the rest of directions is to continue running down the same road.

    Afterward, I went out for a 10K. I didn’t have a number in mind, but as I ran, 10K seems good. It was actually quite short. I finished it and felt I have’t really got any work out.

    It was so good to have two weeks off running. All my muscles were fresh. Most of my aches were gone. I could run fast again. The feeling of being able to run fast without feeling my heart exploding or head getting dizzy, or just the legs wouldn’t move. They were all gone. I only was running at maybe 65-70% my max, but it felt so good.

    I checked the weather down at Atlanta. And it is not looking good for me. 60% of rain on Friday and 30% of rain on Saturday. The plan was to start early on Friday and finish early on Saturday. I could delay the run to Saturday morning, but I got to finish by 10 on Sunday to make it to the airport and fly home on Sunday evening. So I really would not want to delay the run to Saturday, because it is just too much pressure to make the flight. Praying the weather will change.

    I feel alive again.

  • Day309 laying low

    I have been off the radar for almost a week after finishing the GVRAT race. It is still on going but I haven’t put much effort into it. The initial goal of running 1000k is done. I could go for the 2000k or even 3000k. Any way.

    Last few days have been a low point for me. When I run, I feel high, even when a run is very difficult and I would ask why am I doing this. But when I don’t run, it feels even worse.

    I haven’t done much in my personal life or running. Everything seems come to a halt.

    I am procastinating. Next week, July 4th weekend I will be heading to Atlanta to do my first 100 miler. It is a virtual race so I will be myself, but I will be running a actual mapped out course. Running aspect is tough. It is an endurance race. On top, it is the logistics, where to get food/drinks/bathroom. Since it is a self supported, I will carry most of stuff on me. There won’t be any place for me to swap out clothes or gear. Yup, lot of stuffs: flash light (s), phone, blinkers, safety reflector vest, socks, batteries, gps, watch, chargers, map, and turn-sheet. Navigation too will be tough, because I am poor at it. Then the stamina to stay awake and keep running. I am scared about the whole thing, so I have been hidding myself.

    Instead, I have burried myself in a chinese web novel (translated of course, since I can’t read chinese). I am reading Reverend Insanity. It is quite good apparently, but the ideology behind it is kind of mess up, but still it makes you want to root for the bad guy, like Death Note. It is definitely a Rated R novel, for death, violence and gore.

  • Day308 weekend

    Nothing in mind of what I will post. It is weekend. The race GVRAT is kind* of over. I didn’t run last night, but truly enjoying the night off.

    I did my shopping for food and restocked the fridge with some basic stuff. Really wished I would have brought a bottle of Coke :). No I just brought the boring stuff like bread and more cornbread. I don’t even like eating them. For some reason, there was a craving when I saw them. There was not much I want to get afterward. I checked the meat section, prices were normal, nothing were on sale, so I didn’t buy.

    After dinner I went to bed early…maybe around 9 pm. First time of having dinner at a normal time. I was too full to run afterward, but I was debating though. I slept like the next 10 hours, didn’t know when I felt asleep – I just did with all my clothes on. The body just crashed, I guess. I could have ran this morning when I woke up. The body is already feeling much better. I am ready for a good long run this weekend, though nothing is planned.

    I was thinking of heading to Blacksburg, which is like 5-6 hours away to do a memorial run. Last year, while running in the Eastern Divide Trail Run Race a runner died (I didn’t see it happened but I was the last guy who came to his body before the EMT hauled him away) and the race director had marked the course for anyone (for last weekend and this weekend) who wants to go out there to do a run in honor of the guy. There is a bit of memory I want leave for the guy/myself as a closure. However, it is a bit far…the course is only 8 miles. I was more looking into to run the full course 28-30 miles (50K) I did last year. So I am on the fence about this 8 mile thing.

    It will be just myself if I go. I still think it is a neat thing to do. It will take the whole day. 6 hours there, 2 hours for the running, and another 6 hours back. Technically, I can do it. My friend was thinking I might shelter / backpack on AT for the night – which is not a bad idea. However, that is just a lot of work. Do one thing and do it well…

    That is on the list. Weatherwise, looks like we will have rain the next 7 days.

    GVRAT* – I woke up this morning, and got the email link for signing up the next leg of the Tennessee Race. I knew it was coming. I duly signed up and paid the fee for another go. So I am heading back across Tennessee in the next two months (virtually). So, here we go again! This time my enthusiasm is much subdued.

    People were asking when will this race ever gonna end. The answer is never and whenever. Laz, the race director, is having the race across the US continent in the work. It might debut in January. He said 4 months thing with the Tennessee is kind of short. We should do it for a year. Not so sure about that.

    I’m going to sleep some more and then get up and put in the run. (grrr, do have to go to work before the run). Let’s go.

  • Day307 1000k done

    Even before I started out for the run I was not sure if I would finish tonight. I had only 16.5 miles left, which is a 0.5 mile less than the previous day, but it was not an easy 16 miler. The original plan was to split the run into two, a morning 5-6 miles and a 10-11 miles at night. However, I did not feel like running in the morning.

    I didn’t feel like running either at night. I know I want to finish. 17 miles is not easy to do. I experienced it the night before. You have to push and pull yourself toward finishing. It is a half marathon plus a 5K. That 5K at the end is always a killer.

    I was dreading the run. 6:30 came by. I still hadn’t eaten dinner. So I ate, not much in the fridge since I didn’t do my shopping. I had only rice left and yogurt. Mixed everything together. I needed the energy for tonight run. I also wanted to eat light nothing too heavy. I learned, a heavy meal makes it very difficult to run.

    After dinner, still didn’t want to go out. In the afternoon, they were forecasting heavy rain. The weather got better by 7. The T-storm didn’t come. I waited a bit. The forecast changed to misty drizzle for the rest of the evening. I was still loitering around.

    It was 7:30 now. If I did not go out, finishing the 1022K would not be happening tonight. I had only 4.5 hours left before midnight to run 17 miles. Yes, it was still plenty of time, but I didn’t want the run to be a life and death struggle of beating the clock by midnight. I had nothing in me for that kind of run nowaday.

    So off I went. The first half mile was unpleasant. Just like yesterday, my feet lost the feel. Everything was so stiff and robotic. I hated it. You know when you can run and when it is not happening. I couldn’t give up. This was the day I would finish. Luckily the body relaxed and I got into the running feel after half a mile.

    My feet were still heavy. I didn’t have the light gait that I like. I took whatever my body was offering to me. It was heavy deliberate steps all night. I felt like a bear stomping about the neighborhood.

    I took almost the same route as the day before. Nothing fancy. Tonight was to finish. I was not out for sightseeing. Music came into my mind by mile two and three. I felt better. The rain got a bit heavier too. The forecast is always off. I was wet yet not soaked. That came later. I think mile 4 and 5 the rain became heavier still. I regretted of not wearing a hat. The water made it hard to see through my glasses. I had to take them off.

    My speed got better. I reached the Fair Lakes Loop, I decided to do two loops early on because I might be too tired later on to do the loop on my way back. I hate running loops but got to do them tonight. I know my body. It always tries to cheat when it is tired. Sun has set. I am only at mile 8. I continued to press on. Rain had stopped. I hoped I would get back here by mile 12 ish then it would be 5 miles to get home to make 17 miles. So my goal is to get another 4-5 miles before heading back.

    I did a quick math in my mind. If I reached the end of the road it would be about 2 miles. I planned to go to a 7-eleven near there, Greenbriar Shopping Center, that would be another mile. So I believed out and back to a 7-eleven might give me a 7 mile.

    Tonight since I was heading to 7-eleven, I might just get food. I was hungry by now. Not extremely hungry but I could feel it. Yesterday, I tightened my belly, but not tonight. The night was young. I needed food. I got there and brought a slice of pizza. It was not very good. Dried. Left too long in the heater. But I needed the fuel. I brought also an Aloe drink. Then headed back. I was at mile 10 by now. The distance was less than anticipated.

    The return trip was uneventful. I stopped checking on the distance, but my mind was alert and would let me know how far I ran without looking at the watch. My thought was to push for home. I got back to the Fair Lakes Loop and still felt strong. I was at mile 12 now. Finished the loop with an even stronger pace. Just like the previous night, my energy kicked in after mile 13. It was a short burn. Still 3 hours for a half marathon is dismal by my normal standard. I slowed down a bit by mile 14. I knew I was doing this. I got to another 7-eleven. I didn’t need to stop but I did. I brought a Coke. Ran into my roommate as I was heading out. I joked, could you drive me back? Technically, I could call it a night. I checked my watch, I just made 16.5 miles and that could mean a finish.

    I was still couple miles from home. So off into the night I went. It was anticlimatic. I struggled here and there. Got to the last mile. Arrived at home. I checked my watch again if it was a little short, I would run to the firestation. Nope, it was 19.1 miles in 4 hours. It was good enough for me tonight.

    There 1000K race in 48 days done. The actual distance ran was 1022 km.

    GVRAT. I will try to get another 1000K over the summer. For now, I am going to enjoy the moment while it lasts.

    The Biggest lesson learned since I first attempted it on May 1st and was telling myself, no way I could do it, was you don’t know what your body is capable until you try. Not only that I did it, but have done it in less than half the time that I had thought. I underestimated myself.

  • Day306 This is the day

    I will try to put in a quick post. This could be the day I finish the first challenge of Running Across Tennessee Virtual Race (GVRAT). I have 17 miles left. It is day 48 of the race.

    I said maybe because I am not sure I could do 17 miles today. I know I run 17 miles all the time. But last night 17 miles was hard.

    The first couple miles my feet didn’t want to move. Usually I am only like that at the end and not at the beginning. It was like I was not in gear. You could press the pedal as much as you want but I was in neutral. I did shuttle steps until after two miles. At mile three and 4 I started to feel my legs ease up a bit.

    Luckily my breathing was alright and the weather was cool. What got me usually is a combination of heat and inability to breath.

    So I was running along on pace, not very fast, and miles passing under me until mile 8 I took a fall. I tripped over the unevenness of the sidewalk. Usually this kind of things is rare because I know every nooks and bumps in my neighborhood by now. Also I call myself a trail runner where we do harder terrain than this. Well I was on the ground. My glasses flew away and everything scattered everywhere. I collected myself. Nothing injured. No stratch or bruises. I was OK. I got up again to walk.

    The interruption was not too bad. Once my numb was over, I started running again at a reduced pace.

    I got to mile 9 and 10. The sun had set. I made a round in a new area I just disccovered recently. It was about a mile or two (Fair Lakes / Walmart). I saw New York Tony Pizza and so wanted to stop for a slice. I was hungry then, and it was about 9 pm. I still got about 5 miles left.

    By mile 13 I got my zoom/juice back. I was still hungry but I tightened my belly and ran. I knew sooner I got home the sooner I could eat. I ate before I went for a run at 5:30, I shouldn’t be hungry yet. It was only 4 hours ago. Yet I got my speed. I finally ignited. It felt great to put in the stride.

    Miles quickly passed under me. By my watch I was slow. 13 miles is a half marathon. In races I usually cover that under 2 hours, but today, I was almost at the three hours mark, which is quite shocking. I was only this slow last summer when I was sick. Any way, I am watching myself.

    I still had some left in me by mile 15. I was no longer running at full speed. I knew when I passed mile 16. Last hill climb and last mile to turn onto my street. I slowed down a lot by now. I know it is the wall. I told myself, almost there. Hit mile 17. Half more mile to go. I found myself walking. Giddy up. Got to break the wall. Ran again, shuttle steps to get to the Firehouse. The watch is not exactly at 17.5 when I got there, so I run and walked some more until it reached it. Done.

    I had my second dinner. I had a glass of wine too. My fridge is almost empty, so got to do shopping before the next run.

    I just have to repeat the above again one more time, one more night, minus the fall.

  • Day305 recharged

    I felt a bit better after a day of rest. I didn’t want to take a break but I couldn’t squeeze any more out of my body. It just stopped performing.

    Last weekend was the lowest miles I have done since April. Every weekend I want to go out to put up 50-60 miles. The past weekend I only had 14 miles.

    On Sunday I didn’t want to run at all. I did want to but my body was not moving. I tried and after a mile couldn’t pick up any pace I came back home.

    Last night, it felt great to be back out running. I was in my strides much of the run. I felt tired after 13 miles but still I could pull myself together for the last three miles and made it home, that when I know I still have it in me. 16 ish mile is kind of short for a test.

    I have been eating meat like a vampire sucking blood. I would like red meat. Not getting enough from food might be the cause of my low energy. I haven’t had much meat due to higher prices, but I brought a pound of ground pork after my trip and totally devoured it during lunch…yike it was supposed to last for a week! But my run was great last night, that made me feel less guilty.

    The trip to Atlanta is on. I committed. I know I committed after signing up the race, but I have been on the fence on choosing the date to go. Ideally I like to go toward the end of the summer, but I also don’t like the heat. Even now, it is crazy hot down there. I picked the July 4 weekend. The flight is booked and hotel too. My two weeks indecisiveness costed me two hundred dollars more for the trip, because my flight has become more expensive — no it is very expensive. I could fly across the nation at that price; hate it, but I don’t have much time to watch the price with only couple weeks left. It would be too risky. Also I looked at the stops of many cheaper fares requiring a stop to Fort Worth, TX before continue on to Atlanta – that’s crazy. I want to go to Atlanta directly. I guess we don’t have a lot of short hops low budget airlines in the US as in Chile. Enough ranting.

    My map is on its way. I will soon study the turn by turn for the race. 34 hours of worth of turns is a lot to commit to memory. The next step after that is choosing the start time. I probably will choose the traditional 5 AM start. I have until 3 pm the next day to finish.

    Also I decided not to upgrade my watch. I would like a watch that can last more than 35 hours on normal gps, but there are not a lot of choices out there. The price tag is just heavy for me at this point. Watch, flight, hotel, my trip is over a grand. So I stick with my current garmin, which could last for around 12 hours with everything but gps turn off. I just have to bring a charger along and charge it midrun.

    Also I hope my body won’t fail on me like last weekend.

    Two more weeks to get my body together.

  • Day304 feeling defeated

    I am feeling a bit deflated. Maybe it is just a natural progression after a long weekend trip.

    I drove up to PA to meet with couple guys who were running a section of the Laurel Highlands Trail. None of the people in my group was running the whole thing that day but after I got home, I saw on Facebook some other people did do it, the whole 70.5 miles.

    The 8 mile section we did was tough. We only did it once when originally we (mostly me) wanted to do it twice and at night with very little of sleep (in a delirious state).

    The run was harder than I anticipated. I hiked the trail before and I thought I have improved a lot since then and I could take on running it. How hard can that be? It was hard.

    I ran with couple hard core ultra guys. Those guys didn’t even sweat and I was out of breath the first mile. Then came the climb. They could run uphill but I could only run downhill. I got a blister on one of my toes from it. Dang it. Later on at the last three miles I rolled my ankle. Did it twice. Run was over for me. What a disappointing end, as I hobbled back to the car.

    One of the guys, he was the fastest in our group, and the guy who invited me to run with him, shared about his DNF (Failed to finish) of his last race at the Black Forest Ultra. He said he tried his best and still could not make it to the last cut off time. He was over by a minute. He shared how he was in a funk since then.

    That kind of put things in perspective for me. I don’t want to fail in a race. This guy I thought he is my idol and fast and there is a race out there, and he couldn’t make it. The race he failed was also one I wanted to do.

    I am trying to find the motivation in me to run. My past weekend trip helped me to see how much more I must train to get ready for the real thing. The weekend was like a practice run and my wheel came off. The real race will be taken place sometimes in September – the race date hasn’t been set yet due to the coronavirus.

  • Day303 LH#4

    I decided to go to PA this weekend. Staying at a campsite tonight. Normally, I go into the woods and camp to my heart content, but my mom is with me. She can’t do the wilderness survival stuff I do, so we are staying at a more civilized campsite, where we have bathroom and we are three feet away from the car.

    One benefit is we have unlimited amount of food. I don’t have ration out my portion. A store or bakery is only several miles away. There is probably no bear.

    Tomorrow I will do some running on the Laurel Highlands Trail. I have done it before at this section. Twice at least. LH1 and LH2.

    I hope to meet up with couple other people to run together. We are just doing a short run. No one will be doing the whole thing (,70 miles).

  • Day302 crawling

    The day is crawling by.

    I was caught in the rain last night. I got my move back and ran 10 miles. It started raining at mile 5 and I had to head back. I checked the forecast then and it was showing the heaven is going open up. So I took shelter in the bus station and double check how long it would last. It was showing going last until midnight. I told myself, I am not sleeping in a bus station, I am heading home.

    So dashed into the rain and ran as fast as I could. Luckily the rain was not as heavy as forecasted. After a mile or two the rain was gone and I arrived home. The heavy downpour didn’t start until midnight.

    Thursday and weekend starts tomorrow. My camping trip is canceled. I am itching now to go to PA to do the 70 mile run on Laurel Highlands Hiking Trail (LHHT). Couple runners might do it but no one has committed. I don’t have a crew and it will be tough to take on. 22 hours to get from one end to the next. For me the problem is what to do once I reach the end. There is no signal to hail an uber and I will be 70 miles from my car and no town nearby. Jonestown is a bit away, if I must, then got to hike to the nearest town in the middle of the night.

    I haven’t thought it through.

    Or I stay local and run my 70 miles here. Or drive down to Tennessee border and do my long run there.

    My GVRAT race has less than 90 miles to go. Then I would finish the 1000k challenge. Hoping for another 10 or 15 miles to knock off some of those miles.

  • Day301 RnR

    I need some Rest and Recreation time. Couple nights (Monday) ago my body just refused to run.

    I had planned to run about 18-20 miles that evening. I was halfway through at mile 9 and I could feel it, my system shutted down. Usually I could run forever once I started running. You just lock yourself in a pace and the body does it thing and your mind roams and daydream and does it thing.

    But the Monday night run was hard. I told myself, let walk a bit. Actually I didn’t realize I was walking and my mind woke up and said body when did you started walking?

    So I decided to walk a bit. Run and Walk is a good strategy for a long run. I tried to restart running here and there but in the end each time I lasted for maybe a block or two. The last four miles I gave up completely. I walked all the way home, choosing the shortest path possible.

    There was the fear I couldn’t get home at all. When you know it has been easy to run 18-20 miles and now you are stuck at the last few miles and it felt like an eternity.

    In the past three miles was like half hour for me and in term of running time it is fast compare to 4-5 hours of my total running time. It should be like a blink of an eye.

    But my last three miles was a struggle. I was walking and thinking, this can’t happen to me. Will I have to call a uber to pick me up, being only three miles from home?

    The last time something like this was last summer when I had Lyme Desease. I went into the woods last weekend. I checked for ticks afterward. I hope it is not that. Last time though it took a while (over a month) for the symptoms to appear. I hope it is not that. I hoping it is just plain fatigue.