Misc thoughts

How far can I go? And why am I running?  I am musing to myself. Now at least 50k is no longer scary. 50 miler is. That is the next monster to tackle. Hopefully one day I can take on a 100 mile too.

Passion. Passion is what keep me going. I wonder if I really have all the time in the world would I have chosen to run? Now when time is lacking, running is much more precious. Having accomplish the feat of doing a 50k feels incredible.

I run even when there is no one clapping for me. I run just for myself. I am doing it not for the awards. Those are good but they don’t motivate me. What motivate me is the cool wind, the silent steps, the breathing, and the state of being in a different world. 

I do feel tired. Sometimes I feel heavy, like last night. Still, to be able to get my heart rate up, and to hit the pavement, is all worth it.

~~

I need to get my life together. This stuck in my head. I need to cool my head. I spent last few days planning about future races. Running will take even more of my time from now on. When I start the 50 mile training, there will be days I have to run both day and night. I am not in the habit of splitting my run yet. Got to find time to do it. Basically, I need to vamp up my run from 25-30 miles a week to 50-70 miles. It takes 3-4 months to build up. Actually I am planning for 9 months.

Body: I am still recovering. Some minor aches on my feet. I call them phantom pain (luckily they disappeared on the race day, else I would have been worried). When I don’t think about it, they are there, but when I start observing they disappear. I guess, just part of the recovery. 

I have gone through the race day pictures. I am much skinnier than I thought. To most people, that is a good thing but to me, it wasn’t my goal. I had a training plan to bulk up last season, but I wasn’t consistent in hitting the gym. I am still chunky (I feel like a tank when I run) though; the scale doesn’t lie, I picked up a few pounds before the race. I forgot to weigh myself after the race. I know, how can I be fat and skinny at the same time 

I’ve gone to give blood two days ago. My hemoglobin count is low. I need to sleep more and eat better to get my count up. 4 hours is not enough they said. I won’t give blood again until end of next year.

Day 44 end

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