day264 week summary

It’s Week 13 or something. About 7 more weeks left before my race if there is one.

Total is around 25-30 miles something. It is much much less than I want, but what do I do? I am sorely distracted by the coronavirus as you can tell from my previous posts.

Monday – 4. I felt so guilty of not doing my daily run, I got out and ran on my supposingly rest day. Monday usually my rest day. But what to rest when the whole week has been resting.

Tuesday – 6. I think was 6. I don’t remember how I feel. Usually bad. I haven’t workout at my max heart rate and now each run is like a struggle.

Wednesday. 7. Might been more. I think I really enjoyed the run by today

Thursday. I think was 0. I think I goofed off that day.

FridaySaturday. 0. I started to have amnesia. Each day blended together. I felt I did go out and did 10 miles but the memory was so vague. I don’t remember what happened. Then for Friday night, I planned to wake up at 3 AM to do my 52 mile run on early Saturday, but it wasn’t meant to be. I chicken out. The weather wasn’t too good, the wind was strong, it was cold. yadda yadda. It was raining. I then went to bed again around 6 am in the morning and woke up at noon time. Nope still not good to run. I went back to bed around 3 pm after eaten lunch and did my laundry. Woke up around 6 pm. The weather was nice then. Sunny. Nope don’t feel like running on an empty stomach. More the same until Sunday morning. I laid in bed at night and watched videos.

Sunday 12-13. I felt I had another chance to do a run. Woke up at 3 am again but it was too dark outside to be running. I was a big wuss. I didn’t get out the door until it was 4 pm more than 12 hours later. Doing just one loop. Yay. done.

I don’t know. Actually I do know myself. I hate long runs. The thought about it would make me want to put it off. With run. I have to just do it. It is not bad once I get going. The hard part is to get going. Or I have to lie to myself, like let go for a walk.

I hate being the only one out there. The cold and dark thing bother me. However, those were exactly the things/feeling I like. I like being alone by myself on the road or in the woods cranking at it. Weird. I can’t explain it. It is a both a love and hate. When I run I feel to be myself – the real me. I am not very good at it but I do feel I am in my element. I am in my world and I could go on and on. The world disappears before me. Pyschologically, probably is disassociation. I am in my own world. There is a peace there.

Then of course I get exhausted, and nothing matters any more by that time, and I couldn’t keep a single thought straight, yet my body is still able to hammer away. During the run, I had clear insight of how to describe it and then it became incomprehensible now. Readers will have to wait till next time when I remember about this. I hate to get that tired and yet I love it.

Injury: I don’t really have any yet. I know it takes time to build up the base again. I wish running is easy. I can tell by fourth and fifth run my legs do not like me very much. They are hinting saying they are not ready for this. Running involves luck. I am not always at my peak. I feel it takes luck to have everything together – my mental game and my body to coordinate together. Finger crossed no injury.

2 responses to “day264 week summary”

  1. Thanks. You hit it right on the nail. I was going to do a post on some of the topics.

    I could see my mom, but I am avoid doing that because she is part of the at risk population and she is staying with her mom, which is double risk.

    WP is the place I rant and let off stream. And I get on youtube and troll, haha. I was going to write about that too, stuffs I learn from youtube.


  2. Awww… this is hitting you kinda hard huh? I’m sorry 🙁

    I was talking to my neighbor woman yesterday and she was saying she is putting on soooo much weight cause all she does is eat (I offered her dinner but she didn’t wanna eat more lol) … we did kinda giggle cause I said “well probably everyone is? We will come back to life and people be all chubby and outta shape” lol

    It’s too bad you do not have a treadmill? That would help a lot to keep up.

    Maybe such a huge run isn’t a really good idea? Because you haven’t been training like usual… and definitely don’t want you to injure yourself!

    What started you running in the first place? How did you get into it? I know you are driven – but what drew you to running? Was it health and exercise or a specific goal? Something else?

    Do you get to see your mom? You said she was nearby – do you get to talk to her if you don’t see her?

    Your spirit is down. Don’t give up. I know it’s hard

    You don’t have your balance … you probably work and still have that pressure and what used to relax you – the runs… is not as balancing for you right now.

    I have to have balance … some good stuff to balance out the bad, so it doesn’t get too overwhelming.

    Sending a virtual hug 🤗… hope you find some balance a little better – we are gonna get through this. Just a moment in time ✌️

    Sometimes I also remember – there is someone somewhere who has it way worse than I do… and I had to give up my life for the cancer and fight that for awhile, I had just gotten my life back from that before this hit… So I try to be thankful and stay strong. Life throws things at you… you can do this.

    Laughter helps me a lot. Easier said than done but I will go out of my way to find something funny or peaceful, if I need to escape for a minute.

    I hope you find your balance and escape ✌️


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