In awe

This might have been the longest pause from journaling since I went on vacation last year. Life has been busy but things are pretty much the same under the coronavirus time.

I am no longer working from home. We still have the option, but I chose to go in. I found it was better to go back into the office and I got my parking and office key. I started last week. The reason why I like to go into the office was it brought my life somewhat back to normal with a set schedule for work and a better work/home split. Still sometimes, work gets spilled into my home life. However, it is much better to have structure of a 9-5 for work day and then afterward, it is home life.

I and couple others are at the office (3 of us). I sit at one end and the other at the other end. The third came in like once a week and he sits somewhere in the middle (we are like a triangle). There is a bit elevated risk of catching the coronavirus by going in. But I think the risk is not that high compare to what I am already doing; it is all around us.

I went to church the first time the past weekend because my friend invited me. I asked what I have to do like do I have to preregister before going (some churches are doing that for contact tracing/better anticipation of the crowd), and I asked if a mask was required (I asked because I didn’t have one). I have been using disposable ones and they finally ran out. I ordered some (500) over Amazon in August for my Atlanta trip, however they never came. I got the money refunded back. I felt it was a scam so I have not brought any new masks since. Still happy to have my refund processed. Almost thought I won’t be seeing it again.

So for my friend’s sake I stopped by a CVS store and got a reusable cloth one and it was expensive! Anyway, I walked into the church, and voila, wearing mask was optional.

I respect the people there. They are moral and upright and respectable people. But they mix politics in wearing masks, which I see as a health issue and I was disappointed. I think a third of the people did not wear a mask. The pastor and his worship team did not wear masks. I get it, a mask might make it hard to speak clearly since many of us look at visual/facial cues in speeches – yet of the four member music team only one person was actual singing – the other three wearing a mask would not hinder them, but they chose not to. They did maintain social distancing on stage. Anyway, that is my rant. In the back of my head, I kept recalling the incident of a choir practice where many got infected with the corona.

I did not stay after worship but high tailed out the place. Many people gathered to socialize inside afterward. Nope, not for me. Yes, going to church is optional. If I don’t feel safe I don’t have to be there. I probably won’t step in a church until next year.

My take is how can people be so ignorant or stubborn over wearing masks? I feel people made it into a political issue rather than a health issue. I can’t wrap my head around them. 100% of those refused are Republicans. Church somehow draws so many republicans. The issue is beyond right/wrong. It has become a farce.

Back to what I am doing…I enjoy driving to work each day. I like the traffic. I am probably one of the few people who do. I felt that extra hour in the morning stuck behind traffic really help me solve some of the insolvable problems in my life…I am talking about times for day dreaming. You can’t daydream while sitting at home I found out.

What else? I signed up for the Rocky Raccoon for those who read my comments in the previous entry already knew.

I will be doing it – my first attempt at a 100 mile run. I ran twice unsuccessfully but this is a real race and not virtual, so there is more at stake.

I am no longer scared thinking about it. I will train and trust my training. I felt I have gotten stronger. I am not there yet. I am not as tough as last year…or as strong. I felt my performance has decreased a lot, yet it was not crippling like when I had the Lyme disease.

I felt I am sick or defective somehow and I have not able to put a finger on what is wrong with me. Yes it probable easier just go to the doctor and has them run a test. I am suffering a bout of lightheadedness /vertigo. I feel fine if I go running but when I am home or at work, my head is spinning. It is not severe but a hint of things floating. Yes I need a new pair of glasses too. Anyway, at one point I was suspecting Lyme disease again or it could be covid, but I have this thing for weeks now, might have been a month. I should see a doctor to have it checked out.

Readers you probable don’t like this. Since signing up for my race in Texas (yes corona land I call it), I have been rooting for Prez Trump to win a second term. Why? I hope he would not interfere with my race in Texas. Biden if he wins, he probable would not either, but I get a sense he might enact tougher measures on traveling and events that attract many people.

How can I be so selfish right? I do care about stopping the corona but I do want my race! Its my freedom even if I have to travel to Texas to do it. I know I just made the same argument that people at the church I attended made when they refused to wear a mask.

4 months. We will see.