funky feeling

Day 166

I am in a funky mood. So I withdrew myself and drank lot of bubble tea. Heehee. I really want Coke but knowing they have way too much sugar to do me good.

The hike/backpacking trip affected me more than I anticipated both physically and mentally. I haven’t done any running. Mentally, I am feeling lazy and being lacking in discipline. Physically, I feel beat up and roughed up. The weariness slowing creeping on me. I lost quite a bit of toenails from the trip because I was wearing improper shoes and I was kicking rocks and roots throughout the trip. I tripped and felt once. My left ankle has a pulling pain – just a little almost not noticable but it is affecting me running gait. All the work left undone during the weekend caught up to me. Excuses I know.

Mentally, there are a lot on my plate. There are lot of pressure from work, personal issues, planning for next trips, social, … relational. Ah, Normally, when I go out for a run, all these things are silenced. I know I am just running away from them.

For example, I have a big trip coming up in December. I really have no issue with it. The plane ticket was purchased. I am going regardless of if the sky should fall. Yet, it is the biggest trip of the lifetime. I am going on it with my new found best friend. There are still a lot of preparation. Many of friends and family don’t want meto go. My coworkers and boss said I took too many trips already (they were weekend trips). Their complaints not withstanding but still it is affecting me mood.

I haven’t done a six days backpacking trip before. The longest I have done was really two days (4 if you count the first and last day of driving there and back). I have never traveled outside of the country by myself. So I am afraid – paralyzing fear. I think about it a lot.

Another thing on my mind is a friend has a bad relationship with someone and I am kind of caught in the middle. They are not talking to each other. I could care less but then as a Christian I am to show loving compassion to both. Their relationship is a mess. They don’t want me to be involved. I am thinking to myself, why am I even involved in this?

Running would take my mind off this. I will be doing three races this weekend. A marathon, a 5K, and a half marathon. It is the first time running so many miles. 42 miles total.

Oh my back is kind of messed up too from the hike. I couldn’t bend down this morning and it would hurt if my right leg crosses in front of my left leg. I could still run, just don’t do weird twist or foot work during it. Luckily it is not a trail run this weekend. I think the fall caused this. I pulled something.

Calm before the storm

Day 107
I am having a great calm before this weekend race. No marathon is easy. I don’t think this one will be any easier than the last one. Three more days. As they say, I hope to remain healthy until the race day.

I had a nice run last night. I almost tripped at the beginning for hopping on the sidewall curb and then lossed my balance. It reminded me to not to do silly/risky things before the race. The rest of the run was uneventful. I was running with some weight and almost couldn’t keep up with the group. It was another silly thing that could overtax myself before the big race.

Our family is dealing with some family emergency/crisis and my mom probably won’t be able to attend my race. I am also kind of not wanting to run but instead to go for a camping / backpacking trip. I will be packing tonight and get on the road after work tomorrow. Probably doing another silly thing before my race. I know racing is everything to me…but kind of want to drop it all and walk away. I could in theory go camping, then show up on Saturday early morning (5 am + 2 hrs from campground) for bib pickup and run and then head back to the woods for more camping before going home.

Don’t know yet. Will have to do all the planning tonight.