In awe

Day 246:

I need some motivation to get me through this hump.

I have been floored by many cancelations of events due to the COVID-19. When it is about other people’s races, I didn’t really care but when it is about my race, it’s personal! Last few days one after another, my races are dropping like flies. I can expect not to run in an organized race until mid summer.

I understand the rationale of the cancelation and if I am the RD I would make the same decision. Yet we are a little selfish. The emotion is still there. I can’t say how upset I am. Yes, I am a spoiled child and want to whine a bit.

I am having a moment I know why I run and a moment why I don’t know why I am out there. I should run regardless how I feel.

I started running a little over three years ago when I did the first 10K with my girlfriend. Later that year we signed up for a marathon. Since then I have been wanting to run faster and longer.

I did not reach my objective to run fast but I have now run much longer than before. Marathons now seem to be easy. I could do a marathon any given weekend if I continue to maintain my fitness level.

I started to go into the ultra world and in 2019 I did four 50K races. They were so good. I plan to do even longer distances. Now I am no longer worry when I sign up a 50K. I don’t know about 100 mile races yet if I can do them. I do want to try. I might do another 50 mile next year and I might attempt a 100 mile. Devil Dog is pretty attractive to me right now. Grindstone 100 also.

I run not to race. But racing is the reason I am in training. I should try virtual races many marathons are now offering.

I don’t know. I need to get my head out the fog and start hitting the pavement again soon.