In awe

I read a good blog the other day from Isaac Takes a Hike, about his Badger Mountain 100. He shared of the time during the race when he came into an aid station and he was not feeling well at least well enough to continue. He determined not to leave the aid station until he solved his problem. Lucky for him, he managed. Go follow his blog, he is a great blogger.

I am currently like that. I need to solve my problem quick. I don’t have any motivation to run now. There are races and trainings but I can hardly drag myself out of the bed.

Don’t do it if I am not into it, is my philosophy. So here I am. I don’t know what is going on. I have been pretty much slacking off the last four months. I am not training as hard as I used to. This week I only run 6 miles. Last week maybe 12, something like that. Today is Saturday, normally it would be my long run. I should be doing 70-90 miles per week. I am not too much into the numbers, but they do show. I am not the same.

I am questioning why am I even running. Why am I so tilted? Why did I rage quit?

I need to fix whatever is wrong with my heart and get back out there.

This blog post was not about my whining. I originally wanted to write considering how lucky I am I haven’t injured myself all these years of running, while people left and right were saying they had this and that. My body has been strong and is very durable.

My most feared accident in a race is rolling my ankle. I ran myself into a pothole in a 5K race I think in 2018 and ever since, every couple months I would reinjure the same ankle. You say how does one run into a pothole. I don’t know. Cars run into potholes but we as runners should be able to avoid them.

It was during a race. I saw the pothole, still I ran in and I was like a car, bang, and my ankle turned sideway. I had about half mile to a mile to go, so instead of quiting, I continued running and got to the finish line. Not sure why I didn’t avoid it. And even if I ran into it, it should be big enough, that I could still find my balance. No, my ankle gave out that time. I felt really stupid. I was not an ultra runner at the time. I could only run on super flat surface. Anyway due to my carelessness, that how it all started.

I have never gone to physical therapy to have it properly fixed, but it is definitely a problem. I was thinking how lucky I was during the last six months and running two long races, never once was my ankle rolled.

But guess what, last week, I rolled my ankle while doing a local run around the neighborhood. Note it is not the terrain. When the ankle feels like rolling, it will roll (collapse) with no apparent reason and the pain will shoot up my leg and I will go ayaaah and limp around to walk it off. It does not matter how carefully I try to step. If it wants to roll, it will roll. I just have to deal with it. That is generally how it goes every couple months because I think it was never healed properly. Or even when it is healed, the ankle has lost its elasticity or flexibility, so every so often it needs to be pop like knuckles to make it feels great. Rolling is like popping the knuckles.

Anyway, here is another great blog from your truly. I was going to write that if I don’t do something, it is like the day doesn’t exist. I don’t want to fade away. You know, I write, therefore I am? The title makes no sense. Maybe that is for another day.