In awe

The next four weeks between now and until IMTR (my race), there is going to be very little activity except for training.

This year, I have hard time with finding motivation to train. I know training is necessary. I’m not a prodigy with natural running talent. Some people, if they are young can just go out and run a 100 miles because their body has a limitless supply of energy and they are like Wolverine that can self regenerate after an injury. I am not one of those monsters.

My hardest problem with training is geting out there. Once I am out, I have no problem in running for a long period.

I have not run much lately. What is shocking is how hot summer is getting. It shouldn’t be a suprise since it is not my first summer running. I found it is hard to adjust to running in the hot sun. Even night time is hot.

I had couple nights of running at very late hours. It brought back the old feeling of me being out there alone. I love it. At first, it was like poor me, sun was setting and I still had miles to go before I sleep, but then it brought back memories of several races, especially the first time doing a night run, when a runner came by and pointed me to the sky. We stopped and I looked up and blessed the unforgetable view. It was so beautiful that I got goosebumps.

I think I am back at ground zero with my training like six months ago. I can’t run for long. People said I do walk and run strategy. True, that was how I trained for the last 100 mile race. However, now I want to be able to run say 30+ minutes without having to stop. I have being doing stop and go not because I want it but because my body couldn’t take it to sustain the run for more than 5 minutes and I’d have to walk. I remember maby beginner runners are frustrated that the can’t run. I wish to rebuild my cardio that would allow me to run far in one breath. I struggled with this at the start of MMT training back in winter.

I have been at lost. I know where I am headed, like I have all the races for this year and next year mapped out. There was a blog post I held back from publishing, that goes into details of why I am struggling. The tone of it does not sound right. General rule is readers want a happy tone. Even if it is not, there should be some kind of hope or redemption. I haven’t find my magic to solve whatever I am going through. The gist is I am living between a fantasy and the real world. I need money to live the lifestyle I want to live, yet at the same time, I want to leave everything to pursuit the dream of exploring around the world. I guess we all are, its called life.

I know what I want five years from now. There are some really big bucket list items to do (like once in a life time thing). What I am kind of in the fog is what am I doing right now. Half of the year passed. I know in the past, I have quarterly update to keep me moving in the right direction according to my mid term and long term goals. I was not planning to do a refocus session for another 12 weeks, till near the end of the year, but that might be too long to wait for. I was thinking of doing some kind of review in the interim, sort of like half year realignment.

Don’t mind me, I am kind of at lost this week.

What update I can give: CRAW – our virtual race around the world with nine other people, we finally reached Alaska. I’m lucky to have other 9 people to share the mileage, but there are crazy teams out there that have only one or 2 people doing this, and it is taking forever for them to finish.

For us, we only have 4500 miles left. We will run down from Alaska, cross over into Canada, and then run down the plain of the US and to the Mexico border, where we all started about two years ago. 100 running teams have already finished. The race for a prize ended last year. For our team, we are happy if we even reach the finish this year. We are likely will be the 117th team or team 118 to complete this. Probably will take five months. We aim to finish before December 31. There are about 20 teams in front of us and 20 teams behind us. I was told this race will continue on until next year, so we are not in any risk of being dropped (DNF). As long as we continue to make progress the next five months, it should be an easy finish. Our team is a bit beat up though. Even myself, I’m kind of worn out. Several of our star runners have injuries (as expected) from over doing it.

After we finish, there is an extended CRAW (for another 10 or so regions) that starts in Africa and cross middle east and then into Asia to the Pacific. We likely will not do it since mentally I am beat.

My display board of the map showing the regions we passed have arrived last night. I haven’t opened it yet. It will be a good motivation to keep on.

We have done this race virtually (like a mental excercise), though that does not mean it is easy. I wish one day I can do it in person. Of course, I probably will skip couple regions like the south pole or the north pole. It is pretty cool there are people who actually do walk/run around the world. It won’t take just a year to complete in real life, it probably takes 4-5 years runing 40-50 miles a day. For me, it might take 10 years. The reality is, I am running out of time, unless I start this journey right now. Still, I keep my hope up that one day I get to walk around the world.

Why I share this? It is kind of esoteric. No one knows or cares that we ran virtually around the world. I think the cool thing as the race director mentioned it, is training in itself is boring, but if we imagine we are running in actual places, training can become another level of fun. Are we actually running around the world the last 2 years, no, but do we feel like we ran around the world, absolutely!