In awe

Blog

  • Day286 Night Run

    Sometimes I have a lot on my mind and running helps sort those out. Tonight was the opposite. I wish I have something to think about but my mind was peaceful as a calm lake.

    The run finished quick. It still took over two hours but I didn’t feel it was a drag. A night like this I could run forever. I always like night run.

    When I started running in my neighborhood few months ago after the stay at home policy went into effect. There was some trepidation about running alone in an empty street. It took some time to get used to it. I used to run in downtown DC and there are always people no matter how late. But it is different out here in the suburb. Things get quiet real fast after sun down. I kind of like it now. It is just me and the pavement and occasionally a car passes by.

    Most sections are dark. In some neighborhood there are street lights but not everywhere. There are places like interstate exits or entrances or under the underpass, there is no street light. There is a section where it is completely dark. I can’t see anything. So I have my handheld flash light and sometimes I double up with a headlamp. I found running in the dark is kind of cool because I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how dark, I will reach a place where there is light soon. That kind of thoughts cheer me up.

    Is it dangerous? Sure it is. On couple occasion I tripped and fell. It hurts for sure. I never fell real bad though. Another kind of danger is being run over by car. This is more a problem during day time than at night. Cars do not really see runner. I have many times crossing the road and a car would turn right in front of me. I had one time being right in front of one and the car drove on. I was quick to leap out the way. Most drivers look to their left instead of right. So I would be in their blind spot if I am crossing from their right to left. This had happened quite enough time now I would stop at the intersection and wave at the driver to make sure I have their attention.

    Tonight run was short. I have double up the mileage after couple days of rest. It felt good to able easily handle a half marathon each night. A year ago, it was unimaginable that I could do that.

    Watch data: 13.14 miles in 3:10 hours.
    I stopped at my mom’s place for dinner. The watch kept going because I don’t believe in pausing the timer.

    I was able to ponder on the pastor yesterday message but it will take too long for me to write it out. I will save it for another post. I got to say, I love virtual church. I attended the Bible study class yesterday night while outside running my half marathon. I wish to be able to do this from now on. Save so much time. It was a zoom video meeting call too. I kept the phone in my pocket though.

  • Day285

    I had a perfect blog to write while running but things and thoughts vanished once I stepped inside the house.

    I don’t feel like writimg any more because I am sleepy.

    I received a sad news couple days ago of a pilot missionary or missionary pilot depending how you want to stress her job title. She was a pilot for a Christian organization that delivers supplies and transports people in remote places. She flew in Indonesia and her plane went down on May (12?).

    It is just another death. So what? Somehow, I met her once in passing couple years ago. I had a deep impression of her during the brief presentation she gave at my church. It was a life I very much like to live. Her words resonated.

    I felt it was tragic how soon her life has ended.

    I was very frustrated the past couple days. Not just trying to process through death of the missionary. Work too, I worked till late yesterday night from morning to midnight. When work interferes with my running life, I am not happy.

    Another sad news was no matter how much effort I put in the work, I ended up making a big mistake, one of the biggest ever in my 16 years of working. Of course I am very unhappy about it. I should have dropped everything yesterday and gone for a run. Sometimes, it does not make a different when you trying to go the extra mile, things backfired.

    I heard a wonderful tip about resilient people on NPR this evening. A few points I got are: always believe you have control in even most desperate situation. Know that troubles only last a short time. Don’t blame failure on things that you can’t change – like I’m lazy or I’m stupid or this is the way it is, instead lay out causes of failure on area you can improve on.

    I got some tips from my pastor too on transformation. I will leave that for another post.

  • day284 weekly run summary

    Monday-Sunday. 0 6 6 6 6 12 31

    Total for the week: 67

    GVRAT: 229

    I am so near to 270 miles. Hopefully by the end of this week, I should get pass it because it means there are only 1000 miles left on the challenge. By Saturday there are 100 days left on the challenge.

    Runing about 10 mi/ day will get me there. The current projectory is about Sept 3, 2020, when I will finish.

    I’m debating with myself if I should run today. I felt sleepy mostly but my body seems fine now.

    I ran a 50k. I was still fresh and wanting to go for a 60K but dinner got in the way. It was still early too, only 8 pm at the time. I felt I could squeeze the last 10k with 2 hrs left in the day. I didn’t. Instead I did food shopping and cleaned up and ate. A reason I don’t usually have the long run day on a Sunday, I feel I won’t get enough rest afterward.

    watch stat. 70 miles of weekly total. I rounded down on my set

  • day283 run

    I was trying to run a bit farther yesterday, but my body gave out after 6 miles. I have been conditioning to do 6 miles every day and yesterday it bonkered on me after 6 miles. I dragged it out to 12.

    watch stat: 12.5 in 2:37 hrs

    It was hot even at 6 pm! Last weekend I was freezing and this Saturday I was near melt down. It could have been worse.

  • day282 random Friday/Sat

    Not that I don’t have things to write about but I haven’t had a single fully developed topic to post.

    So this might be a garbage can or a recycling box that I dump everything.

    About running, pretty consistently done. I love it and can’t do enough. My body is definitely taking a hit this week. Recovery from the 100k is slower than I want it. Kind of expecting that. It has been a miracle that I could even move. In the past, it took me months to recover and now we are talking hours, and get back out. I am taking easy this weekend. No more another 100k.

    I switched to evening run again. Just been busy every morning…not busy busy, but there were things I got to do, and before I knew it I blew an hour and so gone was the time allotted for running. Luckily I had the evenings to run.

    My body now aches. My legs (calves) are jelly. My shins hurt. They say need better shoes and rest. Sleep more at night. Eat better. Don’t ramp up miles too quickly. No more than 10% a week. I guess From 58 to 103 miles is a bit more than 10%. I’m not good with math. I will try buying better shoes or switch to no shoes, maybe that will help. I want to be a moron, just denying the reality.

    Oh, I checked on the blister on my little toe, and it is not good. It has harden on the outside. I dare not pop it now. It might be painful. Bad bad bad. I waited too long. They say to soak it with water during shower and rub/file it down. They say don’t develop calluses on your feet. Hopefully my body will absorb the blood clot into the body and it will be ok. I plan to order those pumice rubbing things for my feet. No calluse. No pic here.

    Though I didn’t post every day like last week, I was writing stuff to be posted later. Don’t do that right? Post now and post often, right? Sometimes you just have to wait for the right timing. Otherwise it is garbage bin like this post is.

    The down side is if I don’t run, it means no dinner. I love running but no dinner is an extra incentive. I love food too. Usually my runs took 1.5 to 2 hrs and by the time I was done there would be no dinner any way…because the stores were closed by then. I cooked my own food but there was no food to cook. I have been putting off doing my shopping this week. I learned the hard way — Stores in our area used to open till midnight and IHOP is 24 hrs. But COVID changed everything. I didn’t know because I was sheltering in place. I thought they were essential and would keep to regular schedule but didn’t realize no one steps out the house after 9 pm now, so the whole city goes dark after that except for road construction – they don’t sleep. So after one of my runs, I said oh it is still early, only 10:15 let me go to Giant (our local grocery chain), when I was there, the restocking staff outside said they are closed. I did again the second night and the third night. By Friday, I got the message. The store has changed their hours. Duh.

    I said I will call for chinese. There was no one picking up the phone. I drove there and saw a sign. It thanked the patrons for all the supports and all the years of doing business with them, but they have closed temporary since April 1 for everyone safety! what!? I looked in it didn’t seem to be closed temporary. I suspected many mom and pops went under during the COVID. Same thing played out for my haircut place/barbershop.

    That’s that. I found what open late at night! It is 7-Eleven. Trusted old 7-Eleven. I finally got my dinner there couple nights ago. My third option would have been Walmart but that would be a longer drive and I didn’t think of Walmart at the time, who would do grocery at Walmart? I got dinner from a gas station couple times too (a bottle of soda really), but you don’t want to eat (drink) the same thing all the time. I know they charged me twice what I normally pay at a grocery store, but when you are hungry after a run, you pay whatever. I would even sell my birth right to my little brother for a bowl of stew 🙂

    Virginia went to phase 1 of the reopening last night. My area is still closed for two more weeks because we made up the bulk of the infection numbers. My tiny locale is still showing 200 infections a day, that more than entire Australia (107) had in a week. These are known infections, many are suspected to be unreported.

    They say wear a mask. Save life. Stay at home. That what my aunt in Sydney is telling me. She thinks we are nutz to protest to our local government for not willing to reopen a few weeks ago. Some here even refuse to wear a mask because it is their right. I told her, we have to liberate Virginia and Michigan – joking here! I feel proud of our state motto – sic semper tyrannis (my loose translation: down with the king).

    I thought about my mission statement. I had something but it is not ready to be posted. On my last run, I was rethinking some of the stuffs of what I want to do. There is some problem with that. We are (I am at least) too focused on the doing this and doing that. Get this done or that. Buy this or that. Reach this level or that. So forth. Action items are easy – either you have done it or you have not. I like bucket list. You don’t have to refight the same battle every day. Have it done and move on.

    I was reminded, there are mission statements out there focus on Being. Am I a better person? Am I more gentle and exhibiting patience this year? Am I more at peace with myself and people around me instead of being frustrated, contending with this or that? But shaking things up or throwing out the bath water with the baby, those are what I really like to do. Demonition and rebuilding! Have I gain any word of wisdom to live by?

  • Day281 Dream

    As I pondered on my mission statement, someone asked me what I think is missing in my life? This can be answered in many ways. It is hard to answer – I wish it is simple as a concrete ordered list of items. Deep down, I don’t really know the answer.

    There are people who are perfectly content of where they are in life. While life might not be perfect, they are happy of what they have or where they are.

    Not me though. I am not sure if I can ever find myself at peace with the way things are. Sometimes though I do get too tired and lazy and start accepting the status quo, but that is not who I am. I have been contending with myself and my environment since day 1. Things can’t stay the way they are. I measure myself by changes each year and positive changes over a period of time, which I called growth. My struggle and inner drive is probably the proof that I am alive.

    I wrote up a blog on this to answer this question, yet it remained unpublished (maybe some day I will). I wanted a rewrite, because while running an amazing thought came to me of how I will write this, unfortunately I forgot. Let this be a take two if you will. I don’t want to be too negative as one who is ungrateful of what the Creator has allotted to me.

    I know I am already part of the one percent by living in a developed nation, and not just any nation, but the world only superpower. In many metrics, we outshine the second place by huge margin (it is not a perfect nation, but we have done well in many ways, especially in term of wealth). On top of that I am much much well off than many in the nation already. I might not the one percentile in term of wealth (many of my peers are, or near there), but I live a much comfortable life, not having worry when my next meal will be or where I will sleep. All bills are paid on time and best of all, there is a lot of money left over for me to ‘spurt’ on vanity spending for example, on races and running shoes — stuffs I don’t need to survive.

    That said, I am not unhappy. There are something missing still. There are things I can have control over and there are things I have less to no control over. Obviously, we all fighting with the limited amount of time and money. I can only do so much in this amount of time. There is also talent. Say, even if I have eternity, I will not be a great musician, that is something I must accept.

    I wish to do better in life. 1. What this mean I strive to make more money still. Much much more. Humongous amount. I talk as much about money as I do with running. Stocks and investments and 401K are my lingo.

    2. A better job.

    3. A wife. I found love once. I used to believe it doesn’t exist. Then encountered it, but it was like a mirage. I am a changed man though. A lot can be said about it. I think it is most ironic facet of life. There is a blog I follow, I think it called something the brokenspecs, which captured this irony. It is not simple. I can’t wrap my mind around it.

    4. A house. I don’t really need one, but seeing other people buying, kinda make me go hmmm, why can’t I buy one too. Of course I can’t afford one yet with my salary.

    5. Adventures. Life would be dull if it is just work and paying off debts and on the weekend either endless chores and too tired to do anything else. Having a focus or cause to pursuit is what make life real and worth living. I don’t get it exactly what I want or need to be satisfied. Over the years I came up with two lists: The first one is my bucket list items [BL], and the second list is what I find delightful [JY].

    [JY] https://antin.blog/50-joyful-things/

    [BL] https://antin.blog/bucket-list/

    6. Religion. I am a religious guy in a way. I know I was taught that there is a god-shaped hole inside each of us, that can’t be filled but God himself. Whether this is true or not is religion. I wish it is true. The argument goes, if you have God then you don’t need anything. I am a simple guy, I can’t think too hard on these kind of things. I don’t think it is true. But by that argument, there are very few people who attain this, because most of us have ‘other’ goals in life than ‘seeking’ God. Any way, I think about this stuff a lot, and I probably not the first one in history to do so.

    I prefer focusing on item 5. I can say a lot on it. I like to travel. So I need more money for this. Hope to go around the World one day! I already did in an airplane, but you know that is not what I mean. I want to climb to the base camp of Mount Everest. Visit Nepal to do trekking. Climb Kilimanjero and touch its snow. Go to Galapagos islands. When I went to Chile, I didn’t get to go to the southern most point (they called it the end of the world), so I would like to go back there. Travel on the silk road. Plus many more places.

    Adventures – Trek. Hike the PCT, CDT, AT. Cross the USA continent, experience the Oregon Trail.

    Running. There is no end to this. Run marathons in all 50 states. Do some ultras and triathlon. Escape from Alcatraz seems interesting.

    Backpacking. Many adventures. Vermont. presidential traverse. Adirondacks: the great range traverse. White Mnt. camp in Alaska.

    Other sports. I wish to able to Kayak more. Bike more. Learn how to ski. I hear skiing is a lot of fun. Swim.

    Ya, we have only limited amount of time on hand. For me, I wish to do all these things within the next 10 years of life when my strength is still near my peak.

    That is what I am struggling each weekend.

  • day280 Fall plan, 24 hr run likely

    I got another email of a race being canceled or moved to a virtual race. I elected to do it virtually.

    This race, Parks Half Marathon, is scheduled for early September, but the race organizer couldn’t secure the necesssry permits for it at this time due to all the closings. It is possible that by September, things start to ease up, but when you plan a race, it is usually a few months to a year in advance. As of right now, the location of the race is on MD park and MD recreation and parks has no foreseeable date on the reopening.

    This is in a way a good news for me because after signing up for the Parks Half Marathon last year (I signed up my races a year in advance too), another race director, whom I truly enjoyed his events last year, revealed about hosting a 24 hour race and I really wanted to do it except that it falls on the same weekend. I follow the policy of first come/first serve to avoid all the ‘drama’ of shifting dates around – so if a race is on my calendar, I try not to move it. I believe if you move it once, you gonna move it twice, so it is better not to move it in the first place. I have gazzillion races on the calendar, moving one will neccessitate of moving a bunch of other stuffs, someone will cry when that happens.

    Someone will definitely cry. We (couple of my running buddies) have an annual 9-11 memorial 5K run that weekend too, so if I am shifting my races around, I won’t be making to that run either. We will see. That race draws a huge crowd, and so it is likely to be canceled too, then I have a perfect excuse to skip town 🙂

    The cancellation of the Parks Half Marathon opens up for me to do the 24 hour race. I am excited because I always want to test my limit and I have not done one before. I am on the wimpy side and need my sleep every night. I too am easily fall asleep, even if while standing up. A 24 hr will indeed be a challenge for me not to fall asleep. The race director even offers saying there will be a ‘resting’ area for those who want to take a nap, that is just too tempting.

    Other fall plans: Run the JFK 50 again. This time I am not scare. People have started to train for it (24 weeks out). Another race is the Philadelphia Marathon on the same weekend Nov 22, I think. My running buddies are doing that and very tempted to join them. I am also thinking of Gettysburg Marathon on Oct 18. Very tempted to sign up. In the past, I would already have done so, but now, with the virus around, all traveling plans are on hold.

  • Day279 weekly run summary

    Indeed a week already.

    I ran so much I lost count in my head. Luckily they’ve all been tracked and logged. weekly Total 103 mi. GVRAT: passed 160 miles. My goal is to get to 270 miles, then there would only be 1000 miles left.

    Monday – Sunday: 6, 6, 6, 7, 4, 62, 12

    I have been writing every day about my run, even though I promised only to do it once a week to avoid you readers of getting bored with me going on and on about the same thing, but I just can’t help myself.

    I am doing about almost the same number of runs as before. They are really training runs. Yet last two months has been a struggle to get my training in. All sudden this virtual race came on. It was not like other virtual races which were like a consolation price for not able to do the actual race, but they have too many medals around and had to do something about them. This virtual race is the first of its kind. There are so much energy and passion in this one. Many people from around the world join in. We met in Facebook and posted on our runs and stories daily. We Virginians are well represented. I am proud to put in my run numbers.

    High numbers too I put in. I ran my first 100K over the weekend. It was killing two birds with one stone. I have beem wanting to do a 50 mile / or a 52 mile (double marathon run) since I scheduled both of these two as real races but both were canceled. The double marathon was initially scheduled for April 18, and The 50 miler was initially scheduled for May 3. I have been attempting to put in a 50 mile run over the last 3 weeks but chickened out usually at the last minute.

    One thing about running is it is the hardest to taking the first step, which is so true for me. As long as I get myself out the house, I can run, but before then, I hate thinking about how hard it is going to be and how much time it would take, and ended up, I ended up sleeping in instead of doing the run. 50 mile run needs a lot of time 13-15 hours for me. I don’t want to start at 10 o’clock and come home at 1 or 2 am in the morning. It has been a struggle for me to get myself out of the house before 10.

    However, the Great Virtual Race Across Tennesee (GVRAT) changed my mindset completely. I can’t wait to run out of the house every morning. By 7, I am out the house, some day it was cold, but still, I was out there. Some day, I was too tired, but I was out there. Sometimes, I dare not wait to change into to ‘run outfits’ for fear I would change my mind on the run. I rushed out the door in the clothes I’d worn to bed the night before. Only thing matter was to run, and to record the run.

    How is my body holding up? I think it needs a blog post all to itself. I have not broken anything. It was nothing I couldn’t handle. I had a blister from last week. Still I hadn’t taken care of it. They say you have to pop it. I hate popping thing. So it has been with me on one of my toes. It bothered me on my run sometimes, but I can tolerate it. I don’t claim I have high tolerant for pain, but this minor thing, I can stand.

    It is still too early to evaluate how my body is handling thing. I hope to come back at the end of the month and check again. So far body is strong. After a sleep, it recovers. Sunday has been rough, the day after the 100k long run. I slept the whole day to recover and only got up for my meals and slept again. Only until the evening came, did I got up for good and put in the day run (12 miles). The funny thing is all the tireness gone as soon as I started running, and came back once I stopped. I guess I could keep running!

    So my body is worn. Every time I move, my bones crack. It is like cracking the knuckles. It felt good afterward. I know when joints crack like that is not good. My hip cracked when I moved it. My ankles too. My whole body actually. Every turn I make had noise. I like to stay in bed and stretch and hear them crack. I feel though week #2, is easier than the first week.

    There are so many things I want to write about, especially on the last long run. 63 miles, there’s a lot to talk about. They will have to wait for another day. That’s it for now. Hope everyone have a good week.

  • Day278 Fairfax County Parkway Run

    Run yesterday 62; GVRAT total 149

    Last couple weeks I ran north on the County Parkway to Reston. Yesterday I decided to run south, since the starting of where I entered the highway is at mile marker 26. I figured if I run south, I would have a marathon distance. Doing an out and back would give me a double marathon with change.

    I enjoyed my runs to the north but not so much to the south because they were hardly any people on the trail. It might be because yesterday was kind of cold, 34 F (near freezing) in the morning and later got up to the high 40s.

    Amazingly the cold and blustery wind didn’t bother me that much. I dressed well, with gloves, and face buff.

    Some sections of the trail need to be repaved because roots are starting to take over and creating uneven surfaces. I saw bikes rather go on the road than on the trail. Also some places need better signage. Most of the trail has no street lights, making it unfavorable to ride on it at night.

    Enough said, I felt I was the only one on the trail. Not that it bothered me, it is better to run alone. Yet I felt mostly bored since the scenery was about the same. There were no businesses, no house, and mostly devoid of people. The 20+ miles were hardly developed in term of businesses unlike the northern section. There are some rich estates. Maybe that the reason they like being in the remote area and away from the bustling of city life.

    My goal was to get to Springfield from the County Parkway. It was a long way. I followed the mile marker until at mile marker 5, so technically there were few more miles to go. The trail was diverted to somewhere. I didn’t try to find out. I reached where I wanted to reach, that is, what used to be called Springfield Mall, now it is Springfield Town Center. The mall of course was closed due to the shelter at home policy. I had lunch from a nearby Thai carry-out.

    After my late lunch (4:30 pm), it was a long way home. I didn’t reach home until 15 mins before midnight. I have been out on thr road for 16+ hours. My mind and body was about to shut down.

    County Parkway southbound. It was an euphoric moment to reach this point where the highway split, because in the past, I have always driven here in a car and have found the trip long. So here I was that I ran the whole way!
    The County trail diverts into the local neighborhood from time to time. I have arrived at my final destination, Springfield mall, which is about a block away, along with the Metro station (light commuter rail). My family was asking if I am taking the rail back home, now I ran 33 miles.) I told them I plan to run back on my return trip.
    On a normal weekend there won’t be any parking spots available. There are some cars now and they got my hope up that the mall was open. Unfortunately, the mall was locked. Cars were probably employees of from the restaurants there, because they can still be open for take-out orders. It was an anticlimatic as I turned back around and run 7 hours back home. I was hoping for some good food at the mall.
    Around 8-8:30 pm now, and I was happy finally to reach this part. This is the exit off the County Parkway toward my old house. I was getting off here too. I think the mile marker is 20, there is about 13-14 miles to home. The rest of the way, I could run with my eyes closed.
    The picture was taken on an earlier as I was passing by and heading out to Springfield. These new homes are built on what used to be a church. One thing I like to do when I am on a run is to look at the architecture. It saddened me that the church is no longer there as I was looking for it. Granted it is not any 200 years old church like in DC, and there is no law requiring preserving this little history. I felt a bit of my childhood is lost. The neighborhood is transforming. Our county is growing at 16% in population per year, and there is not enough housing. Only way is tear down the old and replace them with the new.
    watch stat. 16 hrs. I got lost for 2 hours. It should be one straight way of out and back, but you see on the map a bulge in the middle section. I was wandering about at that point looking for the trail and for a place to eat. A future goal is to do 100k under 14 hours.

  • Day277 one of those days

    Random Friday – I am ashamed to put up any number today, because I walked 75% of the time than run. 4 miles done. GVRAT total ~ 86-87.

    My body is fine with minor fatigue here and there on my foot. My spirit though is not like yesterday. I rather skipped prayer meeting for a run but the run didn’t lift my spirit. One of those trade-offs.

    Forgot what I was going to say. This will be one of those aimless blogs. I had great thoughts during the run and was going to write about those too, but now can’t recall them. Had it all plan out.

    A fellow blogger was blogging about childhood favorite things. This brings to mind of songs I remember when I was a kid as I was running. I like to hum during my run. Today I hummed How Great Thou Art. I don’t know the lyric to it but in my childhood, that was something I remember.

    I wish for a normal life, but nothing is normal. The stay-at-home is supposed to be normal. It likes this is what life is supposed to be. You get to spend more time at home and to do the things you always don’t have the time to do, like cleaning and endleas chores. Then I said it is not normal to stay at home. I never have enough time. Why life is always so hectic?

    Then in the middle of my run, I got to plan out this race across the America for real. You can’t just wake up and run out the door for it. Same for the real run down at Chattanooga. I can’t just go and do it.

    I figure for the next 10 years, I will need to take a break 3-4 times during the summer to reach some of life goals. Cross the America will take 4-6 months. Hiking the Appalachian too will take about that much time. I might want to throw in the PCT and CDT. And the question is if I have $50000 what would I spend it on? A running vacation or downpayment on a house? I am struggling whether to do the sensible thing or to do what my passion dictate.

    This reminds me I still looking for a mission statement for this year or the next so that my life has some kind of anchor. I know I have one – Run.

    Oh I finally remember what I was going to write. Nothing earth shattering. Many people who embark on this epic journey pf 1000k GVRAT wanted to watch some documentaries on running, or podcasts. Fpr me I don’t feel like reading or watching on any those right now. What I feel like reading is the Canterbury Tales, and the Pilgrim’s Progress.

    Hope y’all have an awesome Friday and weekend!