Tag: motivation

  • Day400 last review of 2020? (and into 21.1)

    I have been waiting for this day forever. Readers as you might notice the pattern that I have slow down my posting. It was a bit intentional on my part. I have been soft inting.

    I have mentioned many posts ago maybe around November that I was tilting… It became a hard tilt. I messed up big time. (gamer term). It might be even gg. (game over)

    I didn’t have much interest in running since. I usually only blog when I run — that just what I do. I find lot of energy and passion when I run, but when I don’t run my creativity is just not there. I stopped running that much for the last three or four weeks, so fewer blogs were posted. It was a hard tilt I am telling you. (gamer term)

    So here it is Day 400: A summary/highlight of the past 50+ days.

    You can check Day 350 for comparison. (love the search function and finally my day numbering is able to pull up the entry fast instead of scrolling to it).

    See my Day 396 for the review of the year. I will try to avoid doing the same thing. Same for the Top 10 pop-offs. If you have been following, there is not much new here.

    There were a lot going on as well as also not much going on. So ya hard to explain. I don’t write much about my down time. Winter is my down time because I am too lazy to run in the cold.

    Let focus on what I was hyped first. The biggest run I did was the Seneca/Stone Mill run. This has been mentioned in a few posts already. Looking back, it was not that scary at all. Fifty-miles is still a lot with Stone Mill being my second attempt at 50 but it came out to be a piece of cake. I was freaking out before the race, feeling I was under-prepared and was stressing about the hills and all. I only specifically trained for it the two/three weeks leading up. However, I ended the race feeling pretty strong. There were a bit of “weak” or low points during the event, but my strength came back every time. I saw people left and right were peeling away after the first 20 miler…but I kept getting a second wind and a third to out sustained them. The race was safely in the bag. Hey, I was not first or second or anywhere near the front pack, but I felt I won the race. It was just an awesome experience. Yo man, I wish I could run like that all the time.

    The next race after was the Devil Dog. I was hyped to be able to get an entry. It is one of highly sought after in our area. DC area does not have ultras. This one is it besides Seneca. This year they limited the number of participants. But I got myself an entry. It was just a 50k, but I might say, this was harder than Stone Mill. I enjoyed the challenge. There was grit and all the grind to get the race to the finish. I highly recommend this for those who love slugging it out. This was the race. Their real distance is a 100 miler, so some day I got to attempt the real thing, but the 50k gave me a feel for it the Devil Dog it was.

    Gettysburg was a fun one. A marathon. I think was the only fall marathon I did. It was short, fun, picturesque. I went up to Pennsylvania one early chilly morning to do it. Duh, the famous Gettysburg. I did not have much memory of the event. It was small, peaceful, and a successful run. I love running marathons. This was one of them. I have done so many, so this one was one of the low-keys (not that it was not good, but I had so many super good ones, and a normal marathon seems to be normal-boring and does not stand out). It might be the last ever because the race organizer told us they won’t be able to get the permit for us to run in the national park any more (I think also neighbors didn’t like us running on their roads too). That is the rule for most/all national parks, i.e, no organized sport event. So I kind of feel fortunate to be able to have done it. Last time of running through the hallow ground. They said they will try to still have the race next year but without going through the park. I still would recommend people to do it.

    I also had many spectacular personal runs besides races. Signal Knob was one. I ran on Bull Run Trail. And Waterfall Mountain. Spent many weekends on the Senecca Trail. You guys just have to go back to read them. I am kind of lazy in linking them or to tell you why they were great. I think they were memorable because they had to do with slugging it out. A run might seem super hard at first, but in the end, I did it. Overcame!

    I did some group runs with the Virginia Happy Trail people (VDM1/VDM2). Rock N the Knob was good too. Well that was a race. It had the social vibe. As well as hard. I love hard runs.

    All these might not make any sense now to me since there was a big gap in time. I tried to think of I had learned, maybe something profound in this period, such as did I grow in my running?

    Runners struggle too. I try to think what motivate us to get out on a cold and nasty day to run? And usually by ourselves for a long extended time. Sometimes when everything click it does not need that much motivation at all. But there were times even when the weather is pleasant, I can’t seem to push myself out of the door.

    I call that the big tilt of 2020. I seem to gloss over what went wrong. One was after getting a speeding ticket, I didn’t want to drive out to the country side any more. I felt I was being (unfairly) picked on and there was just a fear it would happen again. This fall I had switched from running on the road to running on trails, and when the trail was not available, there was very little incentive for me to run. I have been staying in the last 3-4 weeks.

    A Second problem I had was with time management. If you want to do something you had to do it quick and early or else other things would be unendingly get in the way.

    And if you want to do something, you have to do one thing a day and only one thing. This should be my philosophy.

    However, I started sliding when I tell myself there is still much time left in the day. Yet time flies! I felt cheated each time I look at the watch and it shows like 5 minutes to the hour. Reason is my mind divides the hour into 100 units instead of 60. However, 50 minutes is not halfway, however, my brain thinks 50 is halfway. Before I knew it, hours go by and daylight becomes night and when it is dark outside I don’t feel like running. We only have about 8 hours of daylight. My mind always think we have 24 hours or at least 12. Noo, only usually got 8. And useable hours is usually only 2 or 3 hours “personal time”. So unless I run, those hours can easily disappear, Even on weekends! No especially on the weekend. Don’t you feel weekends are always so packed?

    Hence, only should try to do one thing and one thing only. And Start early! TL;TR

    Also, usually by the time it gets dark, I also get hungry. By the time I cook, and eat and clean up, it would be time for bed. Every day I went through that same cycle and was unable to get myself out the door for a run. A big tilt! Yes, if I have a schedule,…, and follow…, then I wouldn’t waste time. Still I think motivation has something to do with it. A bog word but very hard to pin down. Where is my motivation?

    I have been seeking that passion to re-ignite the flame in me. So that once I run, I don’t ever want to stop. I know I have it, but hard to bring it to the table sometimes.

    Outake? My Raccoon 100 is coming up in a few weeks. Yes I need to get hype up and so do my prep.

    Hope this post isn’t too long. Next post (Day 450) will be about the raccoon race and where I’ll go from there. Maybe more on motivation stuff. Until then PIZZAA (peace-z-out)

    p.s. see, it is Saturday here my time, but instead of writing what I’ll be doing today as I usually would, I was reflecting…see more tilting on the way

  • Day331 Your Turn

    I don’t usually share other people’s content. I just don’t promote other people’s sites or writing. It is just not me. Maybe because if I draw attention to other people, I will draw attention to myself. And my MO is not to draw attention to myself.

    But I just came across a content I just want to share. I have been thinking of “how to remake my life”. Not sure why I want that to be in quote. I feel like and I know it when I started this blog is that this is my life project. I want to make a new version of me to chase after my dream, and this blog would hold me to that promise.

    The video from Tim & Fin resonates so much. I watched their travel video to Vietnam and I was saying to myself, I want to to do that. Is it possible to get on a bike and travel across a foreign country without knowing the language or culture (I’m from Vietnam but to me it is foreign land).

    So here it is. Of course it is on Youtube.

    Watch it and tell me what you think.

    I might not be as radical as them to quit my day job and travel around the world. However, it does draw to the fact what is more important in priority. Doing the things you like and have your work support what you do – even if it calls for quiting the normal 9-5 job.

    They are really smart people.

    Their other videos are great too. I haven’t watch much, because I just discover their channel.

  • Day304 feeling defeated

    I am feeling a bit deflated. Maybe it is just a natural progression after a long weekend trip.

    I drove up to PA to meet with couple guys who were running a section of the Laurel Highlands Trail. None of the people in my group was running the whole thing that day but after I got home, I saw on Facebook some other people did do it, the whole 70.5 miles.

    The 8 mile section we did was tough. We only did it once when originally we (mostly me) wanted to do it twice and at night with very little of sleep (in a delirious state).

    The run was harder than I anticipated. I hiked the trail before and I thought I have improved a lot since then and I could take on running it. How hard can that be? It was hard.

    I ran with couple hard core ultra guys. Those guys didn’t even sweat and I was out of breath the first mile. Then came the climb. They could run uphill but I could only run downhill. I got a blister on one of my toes from it. Dang it. Later on at the last three miles I rolled my ankle. Did it twice. Run was over for me. What a disappointing end, as I hobbled back to the car.

    One of the guys, he was the fastest in our group, and the guy who invited me to run with him, shared about his DNF (Failed to finish) of his last race at the Black Forest Ultra. He said he tried his best and still could not make it to the last cut off time. He was over by a minute. He shared how he was in a funk since then.

    That kind of put things in perspective for me. I don’t want to fail in a race. This guy I thought he is my idol and fast and there is a race out there, and he couldn’t make it. The race he failed was also one I wanted to do.

    I am trying to find the motivation in me to run. My past weekend trip helped me to see how much more I must train to get ready for the real thing. The weekend was like a practice run and my wheel came off. The real race will be taken place sometimes in September – the race date hasn’t been set yet due to the coronavirus.

  • why I run

    Day 246:

    I need some motivation to get me through this hump.

    I have been floored by many cancelations of events due to the COVID-19. When it is about other people’s races, I didn’t really care but when it is about my race, it’s personal! Last few days one after another, my races are dropping like flies. I can expect not to run in an organized race until mid summer.

    I understand the rationale of the cancelation and if I am the RD I would make the same decision. Yet we are a little selfish. The emotion is still there. I can’t say how upset I am. Yes, I am a spoiled child and want to whine a bit.

    I am having a moment I know why I run and a moment why I don’t know why I am out there. I should run regardless how I feel.

    I started running a little over three years ago when I did the first 10K with my girlfriend. Later that year we signed up for a marathon. Since then I have been wanting to run faster and longer.

    I did not reach my objective to run fast but I have now run much longer than before. Marathons now seem to be easy. I could do a marathon any given weekend if I continue to maintain my fitness level.

    I started to go into the ultra world and in 2019 I did four 50K races. They were so good. I plan to do even longer distances. Now I am no longer worry when I sign up a 50K. I don’t know about 100 mile races yet if I can do them. I do want to try. I might do another 50 mile next year and I might attempt a 100 mile. Devil Dog is pretty attractive to me right now. Grindstone 100 also.

    I run not to race. But racing is the reason I am in training. I should try virtual races many marathons are now offering.

    I don’t know. I need to get my head out the fog and start hitting the pavement again soon.

  • Becoming something

    Day 158

    It seems I complain a lot as I embark on this this new season of training. Depending on how you count it this should be my seventh or ninth season (if you count three seasons a year, spring, summer, and fall or just two winter and spring). I’m not really counting but it is like I have been through this training thing quite a few times already. Things should be easier, you would think.

    I am writing because, I see myself as a normal person. To others I might be a crazy person who run all the time, but I too struggle with my training. I would avoid running and exercise if it can help. I have to self-talk and bribe myself into running. Only thing is once I start to run, I don’t have regret. I then enjoy it. Having a goal help too.

    Last three years have developed me into a better runner. I have reached far beyond what I originally imagined myself of doing. I initially only wanted my marathon passion not to be a one off event. But now I ran more races than I ever dreamed of. I have been to 5 states for my races and I am proud of it, and hopefully could do the remaining 45 states. I have done couple of ultras and they were unbelievable, you add in the word, incredible challenging, yet fulfilling. I wish though I have done more.

    Each race led to the next with hoping one day to do the one by BAA, the crown of all marathons. Will I reach it? Who knows. I met a guy who was like me and he did it. I hope to do the same.

    Anyway the point was, each successive year, my goal got bigger and bigger.

    Ya, I have bad days too with my running.

    Today I woke up, and my right shin is definitely has some sore. Shin splint. The muscle around my whole shin is tight. It is affecting me even as I walk. Should I call the day off from training?

    I am proud of the my last week of the miles I put in. Not bad for the first week of training.

    Monday: day off

    Tuesday: club run 3.5 ish miles

    Wednesday: run in the park. Trail. 1.5 miles

    Thursday: club run canceled. Ran 8 miles

    Friday: 10 miles Rock Creek and DC

    Saturday: 20 miles – Manassas Battlefield

    Sunday: 12 miles – Leesburg W&OD

    55 miles total.

  • Hmmm

    Yes it was cold. We have the coldest temperature this winter. -8 C today. To some this might be normal (like those in New England or many other parts of the country), and we are a bunch of whiners. But amazingly I ran. I think the harder the condition the more I want to run outside. It was so refreshing. (more…)

  • Expectation

    I would like to believe that I am somehow better than last year in term of having greater endurance after completed all those marathons. I can tough through anything. Anyhow these last few weeks after my marathon (wow almost a month now), I am feeling very lethargic and it brought me down a notch. I would like to think that I am just unmotivated or even lazy. And I would like to blame my body. I don’t know. Probably both. I made a lot of excuses on not running but probably my body isn’t ready yet to run. (more…)