Hmmm

Yes it was cold. We have the coldest temperature this winter. -8 C today. To some this might be normal (like those in New England or many other parts of the country), and we are a bunch of whiners. But amazingly I ran. I think the harder the condition the more I want to run outside. It was so refreshing.

I am still battling myself to find the will to do my training run. I do love running very much. I know I do. I do not find running to be tedious at all. But there have been way too many things going on for me and I have negret my running. I think the hardest thing for me is to commit in my mind the first thing I have to do for the day is to run. Many times in recent days my heart was trouble or distracted by many things and I couldn’t commit.

I am frustrated that I couldn’t focus or commit. Weird for me to say it but yes running require a strong determined will at least for me… It has been lacking lately. It wasn’t having lack of time issue. For me, time will follow once I set the priority. I am struggling with most is choices. I can’t decide what to do if I am given with a choice. Any way, I have been quite lazy with my runs.

Once I don’t have the will, I tend to put off the run from the first thing in the morning to late afternoon, to late evening and usually it ended out with no more time left to run. It is just hard to muster the will.

I had a very cold run this Sunday. It was a run I have been ‘putting off’ because I want to have the optimal time to run. In the end, I realized the optimal time was now when the sun was setting and my tummy is rumbling (not really, but it was near my dinner time).

I was just so fess up with not having the right time. I decided to go out any way and ran. I realize that there is never a convenient time to run. Every time I go out to run, I have to sacrifice something. There is always something I need to do more. So if it means giving up eating dinner at dinner time, so be it. If it means running in the cold, so be it. I just have to layer up. If it means running in the dark, bring a flashlight or headlamp.

Was the sacrifice too much? Do I go too far out of the way to run? There is never a good time to run at least for me. There is never a perfect place for me to run. There is never good condition to run. I needed to tell myself that to get  out the door today. Only thing I need is to be outside on my feet. At least my mind always makes up too many excuses. Yes I have too much going on with me. I just only want a quiet life and only thing I have to do is to run without distraction.

I was glad I could run and it felt very good.

Day 65

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