In awe

Author: Antin

  • day260 random walk around the neighborhood

    I took the suggestion of exploring some of the neighborhoods around me I am not familiar about.

    Having been in the area for almost all my life, I am familiar with most places, or so I thought. There are indeed many neighborhoods that I have never been i , but only passed by in a car. We have mostly nice neighborhoods here in Northern Virginia because we are one of the top 10 or 20 richest counties in the nation, and probably the most dangerous neighborhood is the one I am in, because I am just more familiar with it with constantly hearing about crime reports on those neighborhood apps, such as Life360 or Nextdoor I’m part of.

    Yesterday, having nothing more important thing to do, I got myself out the house, just to wander around. I wanted to run somewhere far. So I randomly started off in one direction without having a fixed route in my head. Normally I do have a route in mind – a practice of mine since college – like today we are doing Route Alpha, or Route Charlie, so forth. I gave my routes names. Well I was going to do the same route I have been doing the last few weeks, namely to run down on Stone Rd to Westfield, to Walney, Poplar, then Stringfellow, and turn on Lee Hwy, and back to Stone Rd. It is about a 10 mile loop and I usually add couple miles here and there and would do the loop twice to get 26.2 – a marathon.

    This weekend though I didn’t feel wanting to do a loop twice. Having the confident in my ability that I can run anywhere under 50 miles and not get stranded midway, off I went. I didn’t bring water or food except an slurp bar (Science in Action); it is like yoplait but for endurance althletes.

    The day was beautiful. I was not in a hurry. I got to Walney but instead of turning to Poplar, I went straight, to a strange road. I was feeling courageous today. The past two years, if I go off to a new route, I would first get into my car drive the route to measure the distance but more importantly to check the trails if it runable. Many times during halfway through a run, you discover that the sidewalk ends where you least expected. So having drive around first, kind of help you to make those safety decision of to turn around, like if the car traffic bad, the road/median does not have enough room on the shoulder, and how long do you have to be on the side of the road if you have to be on the road, stuff like that. Runners have to pay attention to those. Going into a place without first checking it out is not recommended.

    Having lived in the neighborhood for 30 years did not really give me an edge. I was not a runner back then and was not much aware about whether a place is runable. This was actually the first time to have a boot on the ground even though it is “my neighborhood”. My impression of my neighborhood changed.

    It was a joy to explore a new place. Being in the car in the past, did not give a sense of the how big the world is. I passed through ‘world’ upon ‘world’ today. Walney is a place where they would toll our cars to if we illegally park on the street or certain spots in my neighborhood. I had my car tolled to there once, no twice, couple years ago. I had bad feeling about the place. At that time, I thought it was so far away. My girlfriend drove me there to recover my car. As I ran past it, the light in my head light up. That where this place is. It was just 3-4 miles down where I live and I alway thought it was on the other side of town. 3-4 miles is no longer part of my vocabulary for far.

    Then I got to the Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy and I said, oh, this is where we go to the airport. There were many beautiful neighborhoods I saw. One was the Fields of Chantily. I said as went I passed by, I didn’t know there a residence behind all these commercial buildings and shopping centers. Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy is a busy street.

    Boy, no one was staying at home at all. Like on my previous three runs, today was no different. Lee Jackson was full of cars zipping by. I bet half of them or even three quarter of them were not essential workers. We were just enjoying being out for after lock-in for a full week.

    I never ran on Lee Jackson Memorial Hwy before. I know where it leads, but running is a totally different ballgame. Luckily the entire way was mostly paved. There is a part where if you are not careful you could fall into an uncovered manhole and a 15 foot ‘ravine’, but it was obvious. Just don’t run there when it is dark outside. There is a neighborhood where they have their mailboxes across the street from their house and I thought that is the weirdest thing. Normally, people put their mailbox on their lawn at the curb and not the otherside of the street.

    I think by 8 miles, I got to my old neighborhood where I lived during my highschool years. I haven’t been back there except for couple races I did in that area. Again, I felt proud of myself to have ran that far. All these years, I always thought this place is so far to get to. You could say I haven’t really been back to explore around.

    The Safeway store is still around. There are many new codominium. They started building those when I moved out. I swinged by my own apartment. It was sad the church Centerpointe Assembly of God is no longer there. The mall across was closed due to the coronavirus. That was a disheartening sign, to see the big mall parking lot completely empty. I only see such a sign in the past when there was a snow storm, even then, usually they would clear the lot of snow by the next day.

    As I continued on the run, I swinged by Fairfax Corner. This is a newly developed area. A misnomer. It is in the middle of the city and they call it the corner. More like a corner store, but man it is not just a store. They cleared the woods, hundreds of acres of land and built the whole neighborhood up during my college years. This place is huge. I came here the last couple years for my 5k races. It is a new development area, high density, mixed zone development. This has been a hip word here in our area. Instead of separating commercial, business, offices, now they build everything into one gigantic place – mixed zone – constant traffic – always people. You have high traffic shopping in the center. You build parking decks and condominium all around it. And they have towering offices surrounding that. It is a whole world inside. Funny thing is there is no school, post office, police station, firehouse in sight. I always wonder where are the schools. They cram maybe 5000-10000 residents in the place and have no school. I’m sure they have done their environmental studies. But if you build it, people will come indeed is true. People really like the place. So Fairfax Corner is like that – a busy place. I saw a lot of people around as I passed.

    I continued and headed for my gym, getting back on the Lee Jackson Hwy. Gym closed of course even if the sign says open 24 hours. Note, normally I would be in my car in this stretch because this section of the highway is not runner friendly. It has overpasses and cars going 60 plus mph. There is just a lot going on here. I hated this place even if I am in my car. Yes, lived here all my highschool years and drove this section to school every day. I was thirsty at this time for not bring my usual runner pack. I opened my yoplait-like slurp. It was still wasn’t enough to cure my thirst. Luckily there was a gas station ahead. I stopped there and brought a Gatorade. Yup talk about violating social distancing. Gas station is a high traffic area for the spread of the virus.

    I reached the end of the Lee Jackson Memorial and it became Main st. It became Main St after all those crazy overpasses. There was a sign that says 1.3 mile to city center, (Fairfax City that is). I did not continue to the city center. I hated crossing that big street Lee Hwy. We have so many St naming after Civil War generals. It was like a six street intersection there because the four roads coming together at an angle. You have such weird streets at many places in the Northern Virginia area and they created huge traffic mess. All these years, you wonder can’t they straighten out the street? So staying on myside of the street, I turn right on Lee Hwy without crossing it.

    This part of Lee Hwy was also new to me. I had never ran here before. There is not a lot of businesses on Lee Hwy. No residence either. There are, but they are all hidden behind out of sight. Luckily they have sidewalks for most parts. I guess this is where the wealthier residents live. It reminded me of being in the redwood forest as I ran through this section of the neighborhood. Surprisingly this part was where I had a lot of uphills to climb. They were not as steep as in DC, but they gave me a decent workout.

    Lee Highway was shorter than I expected. I reached back in Centreville around at mile 18. I was disappointed that I still had a bunch of miles left. At this point I hit my first wall (extreme tireness). This is the worst part because when you hit the wall, only thing you want to do is to stop running. And usually my goal is to push to the end. Today, there was no specific end point for me to focus on. Instead, I had to plan on where and how I get in another 6-8 miles. I am familiar with Centreville. From one end to the other is only 2-3 miles. So there were not a lot of running room so to speak. It is like the airplane being out of fuel and you can’t land yet but keep circling around. That what I had to do.

    I made a turn into Trinity Center. This is a business park / residential area as well, and has been recently built maybe within the last 10 years. I have been in there once or twice. I was surprised how big it is. It is unlike Fairfax Corner. It is ‘high density’ – well in fact all Centreville is high density, but it was not high foot traffic unlike Fairfax Corner. Centreville back in the early nineties still believed in zoning. We zone all our restarants to one location (outside) and residential on one side separated by a highway. The corporate center though is something new. There were like four business parks in there – parks is really just large parking lots without trees. Large parking lot is like Pentagon large. You only have these kind of lots outside of the city. Oh, they have water fountains and manmade lakes. I am pretty sure they are manmade because those were not around in the past. Horay! It is beautiful though. I love looking at modern business buildings (way better than what you find in DC cement blocks – brutalism).

    Centreville has one hotel, well probally two. Springhill suite. I had always wondering who would stay there. It is a nice place, but we do not attract enough tourists here. Not until I saw the corporate parks it dawned on me. Yup for them.

    By this time, I still had six more miles. I made a figure eight loop. It might seem small on the map but that was like four mile run. I ran to my sister’s house on the other side of Centreville – also I rarely traveled there. She lives on the south side. I hate crossing the big highway, Sudley Centreville Road. Luckily, no one was home – or they kept strictly to the social distancing as they should and didn’t open the door – good for them. I shouldn’t even be tempted to go there, you know. They (general advice) say no visitation for nonhousehold member.

    Then I headed back home as the sun was setting. I was thristy again. Sorry for myself of not bringing my own water. At that time, I was struggling with my second wall, and it was worse than the first. I couldn’t stand up at the moment. It felt as if ants were crawling on the back of my legs. I stopped to walk for a mile or so. It was only mile 22. The legs got better after resting. I almost thought I couldn’t make it home. Two miles away and can’t make it back is unbelievable after having run 22 miles.

    I got better as I sighted the street Stone Rd on top of the hill. I did not want to get 26.2 miles so I stopped at mile 24.5. It was pointless to go for two more miles just to say I ran another marathon this weekend.

    Something can be said about geography and its significant to us as we attached meaning to it. I ran about and saw various places where I grew up in. I saw the place where they impounded my car, the place where I had my first car accident, then the place where I had my second car accident. Is there any happy places? They are places where it leaves a strong impression in me. I love my car as you can tell! Yes, it was very nolstagia when I passes through places I hasn’t been to for long time. Or places where they changed so much in the past few years like the Fairfax Corner or the Trinity Center.

    Map of my run in a pizza slice shaped. The left edge of the triangle is Stone Rd/Westfield/Walney – the same road changes name three times. The top edge slanting down is Lee Jackson Memorial. The Bottom is Lee Hwy. Fairfax Corner is the little notch near where the top edge crossing the bottom edge. The figure 8 (with three circles connecting) is part of the Trinity Centre. In Centreville, word center really messes me up – it spelled centre here to match the name of our city.

  • day259 more the same

    Blog. When I started blogging and following other people blogs, I often came across a few of the posts, that started off apologizing to users that they have been away for a time. I have seen blogs by the way side. I have one of mine too on livejournal that I haven’t updated in years. I have been telling myself, I try not be like that to leave for a long time without a heads up. I told myself, I will keep up with my blogging. I know it is mostly for my own benefits.

    So I took a week off from here last week. It was not intended but might be becoming a habit for me, because I have nothing to write about in this coronavirus time. I usually blog when I have running to do and thoughts come to me that I can’t wait to write them down. I still can run, but I haven’t. No sure why is that. I know I could go outside each day and at least walk around the neighborhood for my own good. Instead, I’m just doing so vicarously by reading other people’s posts on here.

    It is just that I like do things by a set routine. I wake up at a certain time, go to work at a certain time, train or run at a certain time and repeat them the next day. And of course I go wild on the weekend.

    The truth is I am not so much worry about the coronavirus of how it affects me. Some people I know is deathly afraid of it. I know I can die if I catch it. At a time, yes that can be scary. Now though things seem to be getting better. I am not down playing it, but it is more a society problem than a personal problem. More a concern is like how and when are we getting back to work. We have a big problem on that front as a nation. Not just us, by around the world as well. I have been following the news in Hong Kong and they are just as bad on the economy side though they did pretty well on the virus containtment side.

    But this short three weeks, now a month (if counting since March 7, when Virginia–DC area had their first coronavirus case) my schedule has been completely off. I could still try to keep the same routine, but really it is not the same. I only do two things now. Wake up, lay in bed for long long time then get to work, which is just me walking to my living room where my computer is, and then at the end of the day go back to my room. In between is cooking, getting food, throwing away trash, etc. That’s pretty much it. No trip. nothing after work hour. No TV or netflix because we don’t have those. Yes, reading blogs is my thing. I love those of you who post three or four entries a day!

    My social run group and my church too, meet online. We do Zoom calling. For me it is kind of silly to do happy hour over Zoom conferencing. I haven’t joined my social running group for that. I should say toast to you with my milk glass. Cheer!

    One benefit is I am saving a lot of money! Zippy. I was down on my luck — if I can say that, for overspending at the beginning of the year, and it got me to see what it means to live from paycheck to paycheck for a short time. With the coronavirus, I have nowhere to go. So my expenses basically has drop to zero, except for food and phones and some fixed payments like rents and loan payment. Thank you for all the hotel bookings, they were willing to refund me! At first I thought those thousands of dollars going down the drain. Zup, I am hording in cash! I saved thousand of dollars too for not eating out and or on transportation. Can you believe my commute cost me a thousand per month before? Food was too! Ya got to think what kind of food I ate that cost so much. Now only couple hundred for cooking my own meal. No more having to pay for parking for work! No haircuts either. I’m becoming a caveman.

    Do I find myself having more time? I don’t know. Time is a fixed quantity. I should have 3-6 hours more, however, they get filled up with random looking out the window time. Navelgazing? Gosh, I hope it hasn’t been just browsing the web.

    I finished reading a web novel this week and reread couple of the old ones and currently do not plan on starting on another 2000 chapters book. I don’t plan to do any review on them. The current one I finished is “Sovereign of The three Realms” (SOTR). Eh. Not recommended.

    I have more complaints about the website than the novel. It limits how many chapters I can read unless I pay. I don’t mind paying, but the site organization sucks. Unless there is a compeling novel I want to read, just randomly browsing for one I like is a very difficult thing to do on that site. I won’t say the name. It was like reading on my WP site. Even if I know a particular book or chapter I want to read, it was very hard to get to it. I thank them for offering bookmarking. I could use my own bookmark as well (I usually don’t close my browser now, just keep the page opens until next time).

    True though, I haven’t been paying for their novels in the past and had enjoying reading for free for last couple years. Thst is like 10k plus chapters. Oh gosh, what a time drain. Now they made it impossible to binge read, unless I pay. So I have been searching for a new site. I am a hypocrite, haha :). I really do appreciate the army of volunteered translators that make reading novels in other languages possible for English readers.

    That’s my week. Ciao.

  • day258 – week summary

    Is it week 10 or 11 of my training? I lost track. Usually by the 10th week, everything fall apart. This time is no different.

    I wrote this entry last week but lost it as I was about to publish and now finally found it again. How do you lose an entry? Ask WP. At that time, I didn’t know how, but now I found it was in the webpage folder instead of the blog post folder. So weird, you can’t move a post from one folder to the next. Does that make sense?

    Bear with me if it seems to be the same stuff I wrote last week. I have short term memory.

    total mile: 26

    Monday/Tuesday rest: 0

    Wednesday: 0

    Thursday: forgotten. probably 0

    Friday: 0

    Saturday: 26

    Sunday:0

    It has been another crazy week. This week was worse than the last. I had ton of time, yet very little running done because of the coronavirus.

    Now I don’t have a 3 hour commute (roundtrip) every day. It is almost a vacation I always dream about. Every day is a Saturday. Almost. Yet, the reality of being stuck at home is no fun. I didn’t get to do what I need/want to do. No one to blame but me, for being too obssessed with the news.

    For running, I am doing the same route. There are tons of neighborhoods I can run to, but I have been sticking to running the boring same route of back and forth in front of my house.

    By the way, our county finally closed all the public parks. We haven’t done so at the national level yet. It is getting there. They closed the parks for cars. There are parks I can still run to without driving there. Our quarantine enforcement in our area has no bite. There is no street closure. We do it in some places, but the idea is not to limit movement, but prevent people from congregate at a location. No one is being pull over by the police for violating the ‘essential’ travel only. That bother me when I look out at the street and see so many cars. Basically people still can go where ever and do whatever they want. That should be good for me, right?

    Along with everyone, I just can’t wait to have it over with. On one hand, it seems impossible to get everyone following the quarantine order. The other hand, we have shutdown the city like never before. However, there are too many people deem themselves essential. It is a disease we don’t see affecting us immediately due to the long incubation period and the infected can be without any symptoms but still can spread to others, which many didn’t realize. It might bite them two or three weeks from now. We are not fighting today battle. What we do now affect in 2-3 weeks time.

    So it’s supposed to last 2-3 more weeks according to the New York governor before it gets better. New York is taking the lead and all eyes are on them. Our area is now maybe a month behind them (4000 cases, to theirs 130000). NY seems to slowing their curve today. Our area is slowing a bit too, it is no longer doubling at every 4-5 days as before or even freaking every 3 days sometimes, so that is some good news, but it is too early to tell.

    The cost of the policy to shutdown the state/country is huge. There is also a cost if we do nothing. Some states still do not have a stay-at-home policy due to the low count of infections in their states. There are some who question if it worth it. Mayor of New York, said yes. For each life saved is worth the economic cost.

    There are some good news that a cure or vaccine might be possible. Hopefully, everything will be over when the summer comes around. Hopefully not too long, so we can all get back to work.

  • day 257 virtual run#3

    This weekend was originally planned to be a trip to Laurel Highlands in PA, Trip#3 to Pennsylvania, but with the stay at home order from our governor, it is not wise to run about. I am sure people of Pennsylvania would not be trilled to have me there either. Their trooper/park ranger might give me a citation for not staying at home. Our state is like theirs, out count of number of infected continue upward with no end in sight. They projected now that our state will peak by May 21. Truly no one know when it will end, but having a date is reassuring.

    There are a lot of people still on the road – I am sure they all were making the ‘essential trip’ allowed under law. This is something I noticed during my run. It is not like during a winter storm when the whole city is truly in a lockdown. During a winter storm, everyone stay put, you don’t need the government to tell you not to go out.

    Did I mention since yesterday, our state…no the CDC has issued a recommendation to wear face mask in public. It was kind of expected finally. Of course face mask offers protection, that is why doctors and nurse are wearing them. I know, we did not have enough face masks and PPE for the public (even they are hard to come by for the health workers) but that was no excused of not recommending general to protect themselves. I had on a self made one from a bandana during my run. How useful that is, is questionable. Still I think it was better than nothing. I was happy to see so many people started wearing them on my run! People do listen to the CDC. Well, mostly asians though, they have been stockpiling on masks! Ha!

    So I did another virtual run just to get it over with. A third virtual run for the third week of being staying at home and for the third marathon being canceled. I did it this time for the Blue Ridge Marathon #runblueridge, which was to take place on April 18. A virtual run around my neighborhood is better than not running at all. So this weekend I woke up earlier. Ate (fueling they say like a car), cooked my dinner too and off I went. I didn’t charge my watch this time, but it was showing full or near full. The time was 10:58. I started my watch immediately and didn’t wait for me to get to what I considered a “proper” spot for the starting line. You know at the race, you line up, wait around, listening to the announcer giving the count down, a then off you go. I like to mentally set a place as the starting line. For the last two virtual races, I walked to our nearest fire station. No this time, I just took off the moment I stepped outside of my house.

    Yes I checked my watch, making sure my watch is on and tracking. Very important. A virtual run is all about the watch data.

    I ran two loops around the neighborhood going the opposite direction than last Saturday. Having ran the course before for other virtual races really helped. You generally know where each mile is (mentally).

    All the cherry flowers were gone by now. There were still some on the trees but no where as pretty as last week. The weather indeed was fantastic this weekend. It was completely different. We have sunshine instead of the oppressive rain cloud.

    I had on my home made mask over my nose and mouth and it was hard to breath, especially on a run. I was suffocating. Couple times, I felt like I was about to faint for lack of oxygen. I caught myself swaying. How do people run with a mask on? I told myself hang on, you will get use to it. Think of it as high altitude training. After a few miles, I could start breathing normally. It was still annoying but I knew I could run the whole race with the thing over the face. Yes, sipping water was a challenge, since I didn’t want touch the mask much.

    I did not have many great thoughts like in previous run. I came up with several ideas for blog, but now I have forgotten them. Lack of oxygen hindered much higher brain processing. I observed myself at time I can only have a fragment of a thought here and there. I was swimming in various disjointed stuff flowing in and out of my head.

    I finished my first lap, stopped by my house and fueled myself with Gatorade and snacks. Then off I went for the second lap. I didn’t feel great at all. The first few miles of the second lap, I had my mask off because I was drinking, and how glad I was to breath freely. Then I put it back in place and plodded on. The second lap was over uneventfully.

    I did walk the last couple miles. This time I did not carry snacks on me and couldn’t refuel myself as I was being worn down. A marathon is still a marathon – hard, no matter how many times I ran one. Funny I was hitting the proverbial wall at mile 24 instead of much earlier. Then my watch started complaining that the battery was running low. OMG. I got to hurry. There were two more miles and I didn’t want it to die now, otherwise the run would not be recorded. I got to mile 25. Still a mile left. My watch was flashing, warning me that it was really about to die on me.

    Decision, should I stop my watch now and save the data, or should I game it hoping to get to mile 26.2? Luckily, but this time, I felt like running again and running fast. Also a funny thing with me is I usually get a second wind. This was my kick. I kept looking at my watch until I got to 26.2 and stopped it. There was still about a mile left to my house, but I am not going for 27 miles today. A 26.2 is good enough to post to the marathon event.

    I then stopped by the grocery store to buy some snacks and drinks, oh, I was thinking of Corona, the beer. A proper after marathon celebration. No, I resisted the temptation and went for a Powerade and coconut juice instead. And as I walked a mile home carry all the stuff, I felt stupid that I couldn’t drink while walking, both my arms were full with grocery. And if I stopped to drink, I wouldn’t want to take another step, so I was dying of thirst, while holding eighteen or twenty bottles of Powerade under my arm as I lumbered home. What a sight. When you were thirsty, you want to buy the whole store. I was a dummy. Why I didn’t want to buy just one bottle? It was more expensive per unit than buying in bulk. Yup, a dummy.

    That felt like a real race though. After crossing the finish line in a race…you usually still have to get to your car and usually it is quite a walk. So this virtual race did not end at my doorstep but a mile away from it. I thought that was funny, the irony.

    One great thought I had was on making decision for my life. Each step I took was like each day when I wake up. I made a decision for the past three plus or 10 plus years, to keep going and not look back. Ya, I could stop, but that was no solution. I would be stranded. I will write more about it maybe in a future post. I was glad the run is over.

    Watch data. distance 26.21, time 5:29:44, elevation 801. A picture of my neighborhood: see all the parked cars, everyone is staying at home as they should.

  • Day256 musing

    Achievable Goals

    I have been searching for a goal for this year. I am mixing the word goal, resolution, mission statement together here. I know they mean different thing and serve a purpose if they are treated separately.

    Before the COVID19 epidemic, I was going through the motion with my runs. I had a plan or a set of plans to run my races. I find my ‘life’ and fulfilment through running, specifically in racing. I scheduled a bunch of them that should each build on top of one after another to get me to my big finale, the goal race in June. I thought I was on track. Things were set into motion. I have been doing this for the last 3 years. What could go wrong? You don’t need a plan when you are on autopilot.

    COVID19 is a big hiccup in my plan though. 4 of 5 of my races were canceled. Yes all but one. I haven’t run or do the training on my own much since then. Tailspining still reeling from this. All my plans have gone out the window. Yes, I was caught unprepared. Dealing with the emotions from all this too. I experienced rage and depression – some say is the same thing on both sides of the coin. I was dealing with those. A dream crushed. An impossibility. madness. I experienced on some level the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and hopefully acceptance. We really have to call it out for what it is, so as to better cope with it.

    While it is easy to just say do what you got to do, it is not. Not sure how I can ovetcome it. One way is to look at what do I really want.

    Since the new year, I have been looking for something more for this year. It has been just a habit of mine to set a goal (resolution) for the year. I have been doing it for the last few years. I have trying to push myself to a new level.

    The underlining theme is change and a change that leads to a transformation. I am no longer the same and I don’t want to be the same. Sometimes I just like the attention changes bring. But truly I want the good chamge. I seek changes because I am facing my limitation, inadequacy and maybe even something seriously wrong with me. I can’t stay like this any more or remain what I am now. It is the survival instinct to get out. Urgency to be different. Changes is needed to rise up to the challenge.

    What I like to do is from time write/list out some of the things that give me joy (posted here), things like running in the rain, going camping in the dead of winter, or just taking a cold shower on a hot day. hmm. I see a pattern here with all being involve with wet and cold. I also like to make bucket lists (posted). What one thing I want to do before I die, I would ask myself. Of course to run in all fifty states for one. Many are frivolous and probably I won’t miss much if I don’t do them but some are really what I am passionate about, like run a 100 mile race, run across the US, hike the Appalachian Trail, and stuff like that. There are couple guys I followed on Youtube who have done or are doing some of the things I mentioned. They are ones for inspiration (Kerryward-fulltiltward is one).

    Yet this few weeks, when I am in need of motivation, my list of things to do, did not provide me the uplifting I was looking for. They seem to be a scatter sort of disjointed things. Nor the heroes I look up to. They do say motivation got to come from within.

    What dawn on me…ah maybe again from listening to Governor Cuomo briefing each day, while there is no one else to listen for inspiration since I can’t go to church any more at this time. As I mentioned somewhere, I like to listen to my pastor preaching (his live sermon) because he usually brings things to my mind that would make me think and get me going.

    So Gov Cuomo said, we trying to do the achievable goals in NY, not his exact wording. He was explaining where he got the numbers of COVID ICU beds he will need at the peak of the epidemic. He said there are models out there used for the projection, some give a high number of beds what they will need and some the low numbers. New York will aim for somewhere in the middle. Because he knows if they shoot for the high model, it would be just an impossibilty to do, more like wishful thinking. We all try to reach a realistic and achievable goal. And it has to be within a specific time frame. He also said we don’t need the beds or ventilators two months from now. We need them now at the apex.

    I do dream big. But sometimes I have to ground myself in reality. Like I can’t plan my yearly race expenses like I am a millionaire. I am not. That would be insane and unrealistic. Yet, there are goals that are hard, and might not be reachable at this point in time, but I can still see myself working toward it.

    I want to work toward running in all 50 states and it is an achievable goal. Running across the US though is a bit unrealistic at this point in time. Running a 100 miles is hard but I can see myself doing it.

    I am ending this blog post without finding that one goal that will get me going. Maybe I am thinking too hard on this mission statement. Maybe next time. It was a good brainstorming session.

  • day255 week summary

    Day 255 – week 10

    Total: 44

    Monday/Tuesday: 0

    wednesday: did I run? Yes, probably 5 miles

    Thursday: 0

    Friday: 13

    Saturday 26

    Sunday: I was a bum. Slept the whole day and watched Youtube video. I felt asleep during our virtual sunday class until the teacher called on me.

    The week passed so quickly. I can’t remember what I did last week. Every day was the same, wake up, worked, doing something usually cooked or cleaned, then went to bed and repeat again the next day. There is almost no delineation between home and work, weekday or weekend. I feel like I am stranded on a deserted island. Life is so monotonous.

    We do have a shelter in place order. Today our state and county issued a stay in your house order. How is that different from before? Now it is official.

    People started texting me because they know I still run crazy mileage around the neighborhood (in their eyes). I looked up on the restriction and found it is pretty flexible still compared to before. We can go out for exercising and to get our food or to go to work. So…I wonder how is this coming week be any different from last week! Only thing is they said it is official now. They closed off a lot of parks and set up roadblocks leading to them, because last weekend, people were just crazy going all over the place.

    I listened in on the Governor of New York – Cuomo’s press briefing every day. He said something today that this is a war. People should start treating it like one. It is serious and shouldn’t treat it like a vacation.

  • day254 – virtual run#2

    Day 254 race report “Centreville Marathon”

    I used my first virtual run I ran on March 21 for the Maine Coast Marathon.

    I didn’t post about it but I think on Tuesday, I got an email from the race organizer about the race being canceled. Not a surprise at all after getting so many of this kind of emails for the last two/three weeks. Boy we are in the third week already of staying in place. Anyway, the race offered a virtual run, no swag. It was a cry fest on its facebook page. I guess all the big races were already canceled the first week CDC released its guideline about social distancing. This one was a bit far out in early may (May 9), so there was no word until this week. I have been checking its facebook page daily. Other people have been asking the same. A little can be said about the communication process here – share early and be direct. Yup, it erupted on its social media page. The community was not too pleased. You can read the anger people had. I can’t believe so other races, runners took it in stride, but this we just pour our anger at the race management – not really their fault, but we want them to hear us – “Enough with this Covid virus thing: we are angry and we won’t take it any more”. I just shrugged it off and moved on. I elected the virtual race option.

    So I went out again this Saturday and did my virtual marathon run. People think, virtual mean we run it on the computer or internet. No. Distance-Running (like distance learning) is a better term. We literally run 26.2 miles. Some do it on the treadmill, some on their balcony, some in their yard. Luckily, I could do mine in my neighborhood.

    I woke up late. Actually just poor planning. As you have read if from my other race reports, I usually take my race with upmost seriousness. Going to bed early. Layout all my clothes and gear the night before. Surprise for you non-runners, there are a lot of stuff to bring for a run like this: hat, clothes (layers) – undies, jacket, belt, watch, flashlight (for night run), reflector, socks, spares, towel, etc. Lot of lot of stuff. Usually I pack the night before. Not only that, you have to think food and drink. Since this is a virtual run, you would really have to consider what for each aid stop.

    I didn’t prepare none of those until I woke up and said I will do a marathon today. My morning was actually interrupted by my boss, who had an IT issue and couldn’t wait until Monday. He called me and then my immediate manager. It had to be solved right now. So my blood pressure shot sky high. Not having eaten breakfast yet really put me in a foul mood. But the work got to be done. I logged into my work from my machine and fixed the issue. Everyone was happy but me. It was near noon by then.

    I made lunch while also planning for dinner – with a virtual race still at the back of my head. Hey, you are going to run 5-6 hours and by the time you get back it would be dinner time. Then there is laundry too. Another surprising thing is when you work from home, shouldn’t clothes needed to be washed be less? I just did laundry like two/three days ago and now the hamper basket is full again. What give? I guess I have been running more while working from home!

    Yup, another hiccup, there was no more food in the fridge. Wait before that, my most important piece of equipment for a virtual run, my gps garmin watch was low on battery. No watch meant no proof that the run actually happened. I forgot to charge it after my last run. It wouldn’t last for 5-6 hours out there. While that was being charged up, I made a quick drive to the market. Surprise, surprise. I brought everything but stuff for preparing my dinner. I only later realized this while running, what am I to eat after finishing the run.

    During that time, I was filling up my water bottles. Prepared my one and only aid station (my house). I planned to do two loops around my neighborhood. On my second loop I would stop by my house to fill up and eat – have it set up like a real aid station. Really, by the time I left my house for my run, it was 3 pm. It was a late start. If the race would take 5 hours, I wouldn’t finish until 8 pm. Knowing it would take that long was demoralizing.

    We were blessed with ‘nice’ calm weather. Sky was overcast. Orignally the forecast called for rain the whole day, even as late Friday forecast indicated. But rain had stopped by time I woke up. So the whole time I was out, was a cool 55F (12C), perfect running temperature. There were some mist, but I remained dry. I just hate running when it is wet and cold. I had one short sleeves and shorts. I didn’t lube up, and surprising did not get burn too badly. I had worn a normal underwear and it was rubbing the wrong way during the run, but I survived. Talk about lack of planning there.

    Unlike the first virtual run, the whole run was slow and just draggingly slow. I went in the opposite direction this time to spice thing up. The loop I chose is really only 12 miles and so I would need to add two more miles to make it a 26.2. On the last virtual run, I did the two extra miles at the beginning. This time, I decided to add them in halfway. So it is more like a out and back. You add just enough so each loop would be 13.1. That what I did. I ran an extra half mile (out and back made it one mile to the Chantilly Library) in the middle of my loop.

    One thing I did not notice on my first virtual run is how beautiful the neighborhood is. The cherry trees are blooming. The soft petals flow down as the wind blows. The ground is covered with white and pink petals. There is a lake. The lake reflects the trees and flowers. I could just stay there. No I got to continue on my run.

    There were more runners out and about this weekend. Actually every day I woke up and I went outside and looked, everyone was staying put. But on Friday, half the people were gone (their cars were gone). On Saturday people cars were in their driveways but I saw a lot people being outside.

    I generally love my run. I use the time to reflect on things. This virtual race was anything but peaceful reflection. It was more like when will this run going to end.

    I saw the time elapsed. As usual, I tried to ignore and avoid looking at my watch too much. Half hour gone by quickly, then an hour and two. I got to ‘half way’ of my first loop around after 4 pm. I stopped for a break and my mom came out (she lives in the neighborhood) and took my picture. She didn’t get to see me on my first virtual run. I said she should be social distancing. She is considered to be in the at risk group – due to her underlining health issue and age.

    Any way after the break, I added in the ‘bonus’ mile so I would end my first loop with 13.1 mile. It was way after six when I finished the first loop. I really did not want to run another loop. But I want that 26 miles. I told myself it is still not too late to turn around. I could have my dinner and we could attempt it on another day. How tempting that was. I arrived at my house. I was out of water in my bottle so I needed to top off. I grabbed an orange previously prepared to make it easier to peel while on the go. Off I went for the second loop.

    I was not doing great with my time. I already calculated that it would be impossible to finish by 8 pm. With three hours on the first loop, I wouldn’t finish until 9 pm. I kept on praying, Dear Supreme Being, I don’t want to be out here till 9 pm. Have mercy. I was hoping maybe just 10 mins slower than my normal run. Passing my mom’s place the second time, but this time I did not stop. I continued to the Library for the extra mile. The sun started to set. It was a cloudy evening, so no pretty sunset. The cloud was so thick it was just a haze when you looked up. There was no golden glow. Just gray. I had my flashlight on me but I hoped it wouldn’t too quickly get dark that I would need to use it. 7:30, then 8 pm. I was counting down miles. 5 miles left. Five miles is five miles too far. On a normal day it means 40 more minutes. But tonight, who knows, it might be another hour.

    I know the route well, completely had it in my head. I know if I get to that traffic light, I would only have about 2.5 miles left. I turned on my flash light by then. I did not check my watch but it got to be after 8 pm. I told myself, only way forward is to finish. To finish means I have to keep on running. Pushing on is the only way to finish. Surely my legs were hurting. Old wound too. Put that out of your mind. Got to keep running. I got to the traffic light. There was only a straight-a-way part now (rt 29 Lee Highway). Passed the sign that said 29th Infantry Memorial Highway. wohoo a piece of history. Never saw it there before. Now where is the sign of welcome to Centreville? The neighborhood became more familar because this is my hood! I ran passed all the stores. My house is outside the business district. Only a mile to go. There was still a hill to climb. It felt like downhill to me.

    I imagined some of my last miles of previous marathons. Morgantown came to mind. I told myself, did you remember that crazy last mile? Or the JFK? It was dark and we (me and a lady) ran through the neighborhood just like this one. It was a joy reliving the moments of my previous races. But there was no actual finish line to cross for this virtual race. No one would greet me when I finish. No medal or celebration. It was just a virtual run. But I had to press on. Last mile.

    I was so close. There the 26th mile marker I told myself. In reality there was none like that. Come on, only point two mile to go, I said. I got to get to the firehouse where I started. Can’t stop now. Yes the finish line was arbitrary decided to be the firestation. The last mile is always the hardest. There was no cheering as I reached it. I calmly stopped my watch. Good Lawd it was 8:40 something (actual time, not bib time). I did not look at the elapsed time. I was completely drained. No matter how tired I was, make sure that watch data was saved. I’m not gonna run this all over again. Now that felt like a real marathon. I haven’t experienced this for a long time (at least since January).

    Imagine though running another marathon or even the third time with no rest in between, how would the body handle it. Yet I plan to do just that in couple weeks, I would do a 52 mile run (a double marathon for my Roanoke virtual race) and in June, if the race is still on, I would be doing a 70 mile run (8 miles shy of doing a marathon three times).

    For naming – I haven’t decided which race I will apply this virtual marathon toward. For now it will be called the Centreville Marathon. Hey, we might make it an annual event. FYI, Centreville has no running club, and we don’t have our own marathon ever. Yup, this is the first.

    map of my run. Time 5:41:09. Distance 27.19. 3218 Calories burned

    Epilogue: my mom was at my house since 8 pm because she heard me saying I would finish by 8. The last virtual marathon (same route) only taken me only 4:45, so a 5-hour marathon finish is very reasonable estimate. She had prepared dinner and brought a lot of other stuffs, soy milk, pears for me too. I was dead tired though but did eat after a long relaxing shower. Then I couldn’t keep my eyelids open. That concluded the day.

  • day252 – coping being stay put

    Day 252

    I was reading my own posts last weekend and had to use my site navigation (the theme sucks and yes I know, the navigation navigation drives me nut, and so does the infinite scrolling) because I want to discover some pattern / big picture in my life, since I was writing a summary report. I could change site theme of course. Some day, I will get it to my liking.

    Well the only way I finally able to get around my site was by searching. Thank you for whoever put it there. Unfortunately the site doesn’t index by my personal dating system (I knew that) and many other things. Like, I want to read the blog of day #20, it just can’t find it. I imagining my blog being a book (or a physical journal, I want to flip to page 20, but it can’t do that except to infinitely scroll there and if you are not careful by hitting the back button you have to start all over again! I know a webpage is not a book. Still! It is one of those complaints about digital medium. I wish I could read it like reading on Kindle – that is a digital medium done well.

    WP search engine is pale in comparison to Google search. Sure I probably could use Google to search my site, but that is another story. By using WP limited search capacity, I learned a trick here and there in the way I of leaving better key words so to enhance it searches/indexing power. Isn’t it frustrating when you know something (a post I wrote) should exists but can’t find it? It all comes down to indexing.

    I found that they index the title, duh. By playing with it, I learned now how to search for my posts. Yes having unique key words is very important and tagging them too.

    Sorry, I got sidetracked and don’t remember why I am writing this and lost my train of thought. Yes, playing with WP is entertaining, but there was probably another reason I was writing it beside being geeky. O well.

    I received an email from my DC Rock N Roll marathon organizer giving me options to replace the canceled race (supposingly taking place today) due to the coronavirus. Oh boy, they offered so many choices! A word, most other races just give you one or two basically, sorry you can’t run but we take your money any way. Think of it as a donation to a good cause. Not this one. I have until April 4 to choose one.

    Here they are:

    1. Move to half marathon or 5K distance in 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll Washington D.C. Half Marathon: Nov. 7, 2020

    2. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll Virginia Beach Half Marathon: Sept. 5-6, 2020

    3. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll Philadelphia Half Marathon: Sept. 19-20, 2020

    4. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll Oasis Montreal Marathon & 1/2 Marathon: Sept. 19-20, 2020

    5. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll San Jose Half Marathon: Oct. 3-4, 2020

    6. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll Denver Half Marathon: Oct. 17-18, 2020

    7. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll Savannah Marathon & 1/2 Marathon: Nov. 7-8, 2020

    8. Free transfer to 2020 Rock ‘n’ Roll San Antonio Marathon & 1/2 Marathon: Dec. 5-6, 2020

    9. Free deferral to 2021 Rock ‘n’ Roll Washington D.C. Marathon & 1/2 Marathon: March 27, 2021

    Montreal and Savannah seem like ones I would like. But I probably choose option 0, that is to do nothing (no running) and they will take my paid entry fee as a donation to them.

    Good day y’all. I will begin my weekend of doing nothing but playing game and staying inside.

  • day251 Another night run

    When spring is cooler than winter, there is something wrong here. We had a string of warm (mild) days but the these few days the temperature has been yo-yo-ing.

    I didn’t feel like running. I could run in the dead of winter when it is 32 deg outside (ya this winter was not that cold). Now I tell myself, I can’t go out because it is 50. Actually tonight when I run it was actually 43 and it would drop down to 38-39. What happen to Spring? I had to don my winter clothes again. I went out with a long sleeves and then came back to grab a second layer.

    But I did have a good run. Glad I went.

    It always the case for many of my runs, I usually didn’t want to do it either for this reason for that reason. I glad I learn to overcome my tendency of making excuses and gone out any way and 99-100% of the time, I finished feeling great.

    There were absolutely no one on the street. I was alone with three flash lights. I had a head lamp and cycling handheld lamp and a BeSeen blinker band strapped around my other hand.

    Couple times I had to turn around to check because I heard footsteps behind me, like I was being chased. There was no one. They were my own steps echoing, maybe bouncing off a fence or an overpass wall.

    Was it a moonless night? Probably. I had couple times fear running down my back. You know, I am not afraid of being alone but I am afraid of other people. There is an adage in my family, not being fearful of ghost but people. Weird isn’t?

    I began humming. I like to hum and whistle duringy run, especially a long run, very longnrun. Sometimes, it is the same tune over and over again. It matches my footsteps, ory footsteps were keeping time. One after another they fall and reverberate on the sidewalk.

    It was an eerie scene. Ocassionally, there was a car or two went by. We didn’t have a curfew, but people kind of know to stay at home. There were nothing open and nothing to do at night. There were no more bar or theater. There were no late meeting. People who were out were probably really essential workers going home from their work.

    I reached the half way point and turned around. The run was too short. If only I have more time, I would run even a marathon. My legs were just warmed up. I could go on for a few more hours.

    Yet I had to go home too. This why I love running. I love the feeling of being alone yet also in a community.

    A few other day I was trying to explain why I run virtual races since most races were canceled. My friend thought I am talking nonsense. You go out, you run some number of miles and you upload your run data to some website and they mail you a medal or something. You pay for it. Yes, I could have ran my distance for free like every of my training runs I have been doing every day. Why race? Some how the idea that my run is a race makes it special.

    I remember a passage in the Bible where because of David’s sin, God was sending s plague among the people. David realized he needed to offer a sacrifice to appease the Lord’s wrath. He was at this farmland and the owner of the place was willing to offer his land to David along with the animal fpr the sacrifice, but David told the man, to sell the land and animal to him at the market price because he would not offer something to the Lord that does’t cost him.

    Running is really not a sacrifice for me, but I feel it is a bit hollow when I don’t have to spend money on it. Maybe other people won’t able to get it. Our dream and passion demands everything.

    Why I run? It was few years ago, my girlfriend then got me into it. There were some lonely night or morning when I ran either from her place or to her place. We carpooled to work and instead of her picking me up, I rather run to her. It was that calm but eerie feeling I found running in the middle of night or early morning, I always want to experience over and over again.

  • weekly run summary

    Day 251 / week 9

    I reread a year of my blog posts over the weekend on my training runs and it was funny that I always say I don’t run enough and that my training plan is derailing, but I always pulled through in the end for my race. I am always a crutch runner. Training plan doesn’t work for me.

    I feel like I am at the point that the training is going off the rail about now. Isn’t it always around week 10? This time around I don’t have a schedule to follow. If I get off, I won’t know where to get back on.

    There’s nothing to brag about this weekend. I supposed to go for a hill run, since literally I had nothing to do or nowhere to go. My face was glued to the screen, Facebook, Youtube, news sites, and it was hard to pull myself away. Finally, I made myself out the house around 2 pm on Sunday to at least put in a decent run.

    total 62 miles

    Monday: rest

    Tuesday: rest

    Wednesday 13

    Thursday 12

    Friday 11

    Saturday: 0

    Sunday: 26.2, a virtual run. What does that mean? I ran by myself.

    Why a marathon this weekend? I signed up for the DC rock n roll (was 3/28) but of course it was canceled due to the coronavirus. I knew I have to do a marathon either this weekend or the next as part of my training. Since I felt fresh, I decided to do it a week early. Also who knows if the government will issue a lockdown order in our area. I read about people running a marathon on their driveway or balcony. I wouldn’t want to do that unless there’s no choice.

    Also, I want to get a feel for the next virtual race. I signed up for the Blue Ridge (double) Marathon, which is to run a marathon twice, 52.4 miles. That too was canceled and we were encouraged to run it virtually on our own.

    The farest I ever did was 50 miles. It will be a challenge.

    For a 52-53 mile run, I am not sure if I would find the strength at the end. I will write more about when the time comes. I plan to do it on the weekend after Easter. It will be on the same course as this weekend run (planning to be out for 12-13 hours). As a virtual run, it could be hard or it could be easy. We’ll see.