In awe

Category: life

  • more filler

    day 170

    What with the fillers? I have nothing to write so I am posting random stuffs that come to mind. I know, if I have nothing worth to say, don’t say it. I usually do abide by it. I only blog when I run, because that is what I like to talk about. Running kind of bring out so many other thoughts too.

    I originally started blogging writing a narative of my life, mostly focusing on my running and backpacking trips. How great they are! I know. It is my love and my passion. And all the world should know it too.

    I feel proud of my progress or even the lack there of. Every week is a new adventure and a new race. In the grand scheme though, who care, right? Who care if I run another marathon?

    Why tell the world? I don’t know. But thank you for reading. Writing is a medicine to me, just like running to get my mind off things, writing does too. I don’t have a lot of followers and I don’t aim to gather a lot. I do appreciate those who read/comment on my blog. You are like a friend, a real friend. I certainly treat you guys that way and maybe some day get to meet in real life. Deep down I guess I do want attention! You by reading make me feel good, somehow.

    But life is messy. I wish my life is a narative with clear beginning, a good plot in middle, climax, and good ending. I have been blogging for about a year now (started last October or November).

    There was no clear beginning. Beginning was when I started the blog. You guys though kind of came in the middle of it. I already have been running for couple years before then. I am about entering my fourth year now. Middle/plot: It was really up and down. I don’t see any progress with my running… yes, I ran more races, I ran for longer distances. I attempted bigger races whic were unimaginably tough (or even impossible) to me several years back. I wish the blog kind of show how I got from there to here. I don’t know. Sorry. The details were kind of messy. You readers bear through it. In between you get fillers like this post. Climax/Ending. I don’t know where this will end. My dream is certainly to run all fifty states and also to run in the BAA (Boston Maraton). I hope that would be the climax. I don’t know if I ever get there. As for fifty states, a rough estimate is it will take me 25 years to run all fifty states. I will be like 65 by then.

    Life is messy in another way. I don’t write much about my personal life – the real life, though, they probably are seen or can be inferred. Unfortunately, I don’t write about the messy stuffs of my life… like my cat died (j/k). Yup, it is just only about running. True, I am running away from my real world problems, which you guys won’t get to see.

    ###

    I did 3.5 or 4 miles last night and was about to do more but various issues popped up (real world). Not really my concern but they were a distraction anyhow. Couple people were let go from my work place today and it kind of shock me. I was told about at the beginning of my run. How unreal. You just couldn’t keep quiet right? You would think!

    This messed up my run concentration. Who knew running takes concentration. My friend called/texted me. Before I knew it, my run isn’t happening. I am happy to even get 4 miles in.

    Not sure if I will be posting in the next couple days as I will be busy training…weekend’s coming!!

  • filler

    Day 169 – weekend plan

    The middle of the week is like a valley between two peaks. Last weekend was awesome in that I had a full plate and I was attempting something I have never done before. The weekend before that was the same. This coming weekend though would be the boring run of the mill thing. I have no plan. However, weekend is still way better than now…the middle of the week.

    I did not do much yesterday. I should have run or work-out in a gym but did not do any of that. I stayed late at work to finish up some adminstrative stuff. Then the weather was looking beak like a storm was coming. Instead of running I headed home, thinking I would run after getting home.

    Then it went downhill. I was hungry – not really; it was an excuse- so I stopped at a Korean place across from where I live. I haven’t been to there for a long time. The food is really good. I was surprised. They sell Korean rice sausages. This is my second tine eating it. The last time I brought them home and did not eat them right of way and they did not taste good at all. However, this time I ate them immediately and they were so good. I at first thought they were pricey but then realized the lady gave me too pair of chopsticks. They were like four servings inside the box! I ate them all (I had to do it in two sitting – food was still good an hour later). Most people dine in, I do carry out.

    So I did not run at all. Not even a mile or two. I slept early and got about 8 hours I think, the longest ever.

    Oh, though I don’t have plan for this weekend, I have to do my long runs. When I was training for a marathon, my long run is just a Saturday, but now it is Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully, I will get in 60+ miles.

    I do have some unscheduled events for Sunday … not really want to go but there is church with my best friends, then lunch, then kayak or paddleboard with them, then 2nd lunch, and an afternoon watching a Christian documentary on the Charismatic Movement (its a two hours film), and a dinner or maybe even 2nd dinner with them (my friend said she will cook two meals for us since I missed the one yesterday). There might be a 2nd worship too at night (another 2 hours event). I might not able to squeeze in my 20 miles long run after all. I might go to the first worship service and skip out the rest and rejoin them at dinner time. Or while they attend church, I skip out to a nearby trail and do my run. W&OD near Reston is my favorite.

    My friend is going away for two weeks so, maybe a sacrifice of a Sunday is an acceptable trade-off. Any way, I will go by ear and act accordingly.

  • funky feeling

    Day 166

    I am in a funky mood. So I withdrew myself and drank lot of bubble tea. Heehee. I really want Coke but knowing they have way too much sugar to do me good.

    The hike/backpacking trip affected me more than I anticipated both physically and mentally. I haven’t done any running. Mentally, I am feeling lazy and being lacking in discipline. Physically, I feel beat up and roughed up. The weariness slowing creeping on me. I lost quite a bit of toenails from the trip because I was wearing improper shoes and I was kicking rocks and roots throughout the trip. I tripped and felt once. My left ankle has a pulling pain – just a little almost not noticable but it is affecting me running gait. All the work left undone during the weekend caught up to me. Excuses I know.

    Mentally, there are a lot on my plate. There are lot of pressure from work, personal issues, planning for next trips, social, … relational. Ah, Normally, when I go out for a run, all these things are silenced. I know I am just running away from them.

    For example, I have a big trip coming up in December. I really have no issue with it. The plane ticket was purchased. I am going regardless of if the sky should fall. Yet, it is the biggest trip of the lifetime. I am going on it with my new found best friend. There are still a lot of preparation. Many of friends and family don’t want meto go. My coworkers and boss said I took too many trips already (they were weekend trips). Their complaints not withstanding but still it is affecting me mood.

    I haven’t done a six days backpacking trip before. The longest I have done was really two days (4 if you count the first and last day of driving there and back). I have never traveled outside of the country by myself. So I am afraid – paralyzing fear. I think about it a lot.

    Another thing on my mind is a friend has a bad relationship with someone and I am kind of caught in the middle. They are not talking to each other. I could care less but then as a Christian I am to show loving compassion to both. Their relationship is a mess. They don’t want me to be involved. I am thinking to myself, why am I even involved in this?

    Running would take my mind off this. I will be doing three races this weekend. A marathon, a 5K, and a half marathon. It is the first time running so many miles. 42 miles total.

    Oh my back is kind of messed up too from the hike. I couldn’t bend down this morning and it would hurt if my right leg crosses in front of my left leg. I could still run, just don’t do weird twist or foot work during it. Luckily it is not a trail run this weekend. I think the fall caused this. I pulled something.

  • A bit of house keeping

    Day 151 – Upcoming events

    Time flies. A bit house keeping because of everything been going on, I lost track of things regarding my race schedule and all.

    The August race Iron Mnt is canceled (for me only), at least I wrote to the race director asking to be withdrawn from it and to give my place to someone else. Race Director accepted it. I won’t be running that but I will still try to run the course on my own on another weekend. I haven’t picked a date yet. They have a 30 miles training this weekend but unfortunately I will be doing backpacking in West Virginia. I really want to run this course though.

    As for Labor Day, same weekend of Iron Mnt Ultra, my friend and I will backpack somewhere south near Roan Mnt. I have been there last year camping with the Sierra Club. That was like a light version. This time the plan is to do a 50 miler, with shuttle pickup, not sure if a shuttle drop off at the beginning or a pick up at the end. I think we prefer dropping off and we walk back to our car. This way we won’t have to worry when we have to get to the pickup point. This trip will be huge because it will be the longest BP I’ve ever done.

    I just looked at my September race schedule and what I saw scare the daylight out of me. I signed up a bunch of races. I think the first Saturday, or there is a marathon in the morning (double checking realized I haven’t registered for it but now debating if I will run it), then there is a 5k (9/11 remembrance run) at night on the same day, and then early next morning on Sunday there is a Half marathon (I am sure I registered for this one). This will be my an ultimate test thus far! I haven’t tried a back to back run before marathon-5K-half marathon, but it is probably good training for doing a future back to back marathon.

    Couple days ago, after I knew I was all better, I signed up a bunch of smaller local races. My August calendar was pretty clean, there was no race. So I added a 10K and a 20k. August is my special month because three years ago, it was when I started running seriously. This race, South Lakes 10K, is one that started me on the path of being a marathon runner! It brings back a lot of memory each time I get on the course. This will be my forth time running it.

    I signed up a 10 miler in Sept. This is also a tradition race. It was the race I ran with the lady of my dream in 2016. It is a race dear to my heart. It was a race when everything seemed out of control, the race brought everything back into focus. It might do so again this time around because it will be a race that going to launch me into the crazy month of October, when I will be running a marathon every weekend! (Or attempting to).

    I really need to get back into training mode. I am no longer on a run schedule, so the first step is to have one. Second is to reestablish my long run. Third is to do real hill training. Fourth is nutrition – this has been my weak spot; I just have been eating too much junks. Fifth, is consistent sleep schedule.

    Next year, I will focus on speed improvement – which means track work and interval training. That would be phase three. Goal for next year is cut down my time to 3:45 (marathon finish time). Phase 4 would be BQ time attempt. I will go into phase 4 when I am near BQ time (probably hiring a coach by then), going for the broke.

    Finally, last night a dude I know signed up for the Quantico tri. The event is in two weeks and he told me about it. I am itching to do it with him. I know my time will be suck but hey it is a local race and someone I know is in it. He hasn’t been training but he seems to be in a good shape. He is a marine so naturally, he will do fine. I am not like him…I looked up the time of last person finished from last year and I think I at least can do that. So I am still debating if I should do the event.

  • 19.5 Review

    Day 150 Summer / review no 5

    [Last] month review (May) can be found here. Every time I write this, I feel like doing a project, except I have no idea what I am doing. I just feel it is right to write a report.

    This month/quarter had me twisted in a knot but finally everything sorted out. Well kind of.

    I ran couple of races. York Marathon in Pennsylvania and Eastern Divide (EDU) in Roanoke VA. And I thought, I was exhausted from those. I probably were.

    The big news was my doctor told me I have high cholesterol. I took the news like I was about to die. I started fasting. No more eating out, no more candy, no more soda. I started to lower my calorie intake. I fasted from food at least once a week, on every Monday and on first of every month. My friend taught me to cook. I wanted to eat healthier. I was handling fine. At least I thought so. It went on for about three weeks, until I began to get weak, very weak.

    I didn’t do less though. I kept to my running and camping. We went to Laurel Highland and I had a blast. It was one of those places I wanted to go for a long time.

    I got so weak though soon I was not able to run nor hike. People in my running group when they saw me begged me to go home. I persisted but soon I had to give into my body. I was no longer could run a four miler. Then even two milers were like running a marathon.

    I went to see the doctor, luckily he was quick to identify that I got Lyme disease. I was put on antibiotic and finally as of couple days ago, I finished the treatment. I regained my strength just in time for me to do the Jack&Jill marathon two weekends ago.

    I pretty much back to where I was, being strong again. Granted with almost two months off from my training, there are a lot to catch up. I canceled the 40 miler ultra for August. I am now focus on my September and October marathons. The next report will probably be about those races.

    I felt I have come a full circle. The training plan I had for the summer, well they had to be adjusted. It was pretty much toasted. Luckily not too many things were affected. I learned definitely where my limit is. If the body refuses to move, there really not a lot of way to force myself to do anything. I always believe mind over the body, but that only applies for short duration like during a race. It is much much harder to do it during a long illness. I got a taste of being not able to run. Really really not able to run at all when I was seemingly healthy (well I thought so was healthy at the time). I now believe people when they say they can’t run, they really can’t run. Now at least I got back a body that can.

    Finally, I can begin my summer training. It is not too late.

    Last: https://antin.blog/2019/05/14/19-4-review/

    York: https://antin.blog/2019/05/19/two-for-one/

    EDU: https://antin.blog/2019/06/15/race-3-eastern-divide-50k/

    Jill: https://antin.blog/2019/07/31/reflection/

  • Got me thinking

    Day 135 / long post

    I pretty sure I wrote why I like to run some time ago. I think I did. If I had not, I am sure it can be pieced together from all my posts. It was kind of obvious why I run.

    My mother dearest spoke to me over last weekend after I finished the ultra and is preparing to do another, and basically asked me why I am so gunho on running and doing outdoor stuffs one after another. I will be running by myself another ultra (28 miles) this weekend, untimed and self hosted, in the woods, far away from any civilization (not true but to most people it is) and is moderately risky. There is probably that 1% of me not making it back, because of from lightning, bear attack, or falling off the cliff, or from a common cold (I am still sick) — all outdoor activities are inherently dangerous, or maybe from being in a car accident…there is a higher chance of that, since I will be driving back in the wee hour to do another race, a half marathon near home in DC. Joking aside, death is real. Ony last race it hit home when a gentleman collapsed on the course and pass away. Those around him tried to help him but it was not successful. I know the danger. It will about a 4 hour drive to get back. I will make sure I’ll get plenty of sleep before getting in the car after my 28 mile run.

    She said and I agree that if I am not running I’d be camping and if I’m not camping I ‘d be biking or swimming or doing this race or that. If none of those, I’d be traveling somewhere out in the jungle or in another country. There are constantly activities and there is no break it seems.

    I know she is not against my running. She has been very supportive and been to many of my races. She stressed I have to do things in moderation. I understood her point of taking things in moderation to slow down the wear and tear on my body.

    Basically I disagree with her about doing thing in moderation. The reason is there is not enough time in the whole world of I wait! While my body is still capable of handling the stress, I will increase in intensity. It is that word! My key word of the year. I am reminded of Hector in Achilles. I think it was Hector. He could stay back behind the city wall and not face Achilles knowing once he did he would die (at least according to their prophesy). But he rather die young in a blaze of glory rather than of old age. I think Achilles’ mom was saying the same thing to try to convince Achilles not to go into battle but Achilles was a spoiled brat for other reason. He sat out not because of his mother’s word but because he was sulking about his war spoil, a woman, being taken from him. Later, he rejoined the battle out of rage on Hector and it was all due to his own making, but he was blaming others for his own problem. Any way….

    I know Hector’s circumstance is much different than mine. The guy is fighting for the survival of his home and kingdom.

    I do know that by doing a lot now, it will probably shorten my life tiny bit. I’m pushing my knees to ruin – it is possible at least according to general consent. However, if I don’t push to do as much as I am able right now, who know in the future if I am able. One fact I do know is each year, my body is getting weaker and weaker – a process called aging. Time is fleeting. The energy level I have now in my forties would not be the same when I am in my fifties or sixties, generally speaking. There are always exceptions. We met an 80 year old man while hiking the Laurel Highland trail last month. He was about to finish 70 miles with only couple miles to go (a task not many of us is able to do) and he was carried a much much heavier pack than ours because he was old-school, while we the newer generation benefitted from having the newer and lighter gear. He blew us all young ones out of that mountain.

    The final point is why? She knows I want to run but where does it end? The answer is until my body can’t do it any more or my interest wane. Right now, I want to do more. So what then after I conquer my next challenge, say 50 miler marathon, or a 100 miler, or an Ironman. So what? I understand there is always something bigger out there. In a way her reasoning is, we shouldn’t even bother doing anything because we as normal people never really make it to the top.

    I am not doing it for a bragging right. I felt as long as my body is able to handle it, I will do it. Pain is insignificant because there is a joy in overcoming all obstacles to get to the finish line. I think there is an intrinsic value to set a goal and reach it. Hey, if I am good with other things like making money, I probably would focus my life on doing that. Running so far give me that peace and joy. Making money does not. Running, I can say it is something I am good at doing to a degree. Probably a non runner would not get it. I know I never be an Olympian but still there is a potential in me I got to reach for and be the best I can be.

    On a secondary point, each new challenge prepares me for the next one. Like a 5K led to a 10K and a 10K led me to running a Half marathon and a half led me to doing a Full. This year, I have been running Ultras and marathons are almost becoming a 10k for me. Not saying those races or events weren’t hard any more but they are no longer an end of the world for me. I did a 5K after hiking 26 miles two weekends ago, and that 5k was the hardest 5K in my life.

    There is no more answer to why or reason for my running. I kind of want to qualify for Boston, to be able run a marathon under 3 hours instead of 5. But that just a small goal. If I reach it, I would still continue to run.

    She gave an example that some people after all their searching and busyness and they come back to a full circle of where they started. They found what they found if they haven’t run all over the place they would see the answer sooner. Not sure what she is driving at. It sounds like I should sit and meditate on the essence of life and reach my dao. I don’t know.

    I don’t think I am searching for anything though. I felt every time I hit the peak, I could see a little more that only those who have been there could see. I got this from a web novel I read called Terror Infinity (a bad book with a bad ending, don’t read it). The main character reached a stage only he as a leader was privilege to get a glimpse of. It is hard to tell others what that was. Other characters in the novel just had to trust him that it was worth it for all the troubles and suffering he went through. It is a refining process.

    Right now I am still trying to wrap my mind on how to run or endure a 50 mile or 100 mile event. It just blows my mind that people did it and I don’t know how. I don’t know if next year I would be brave enough to tackle a 100 miler. Yes, they all say left foot, follow by the right foot and repeat until you get there.

  • Life

    Day 127 Special Edition (Two posts in one)

    Maybe because of the last weekend trip and I over extended myself, I am a bit under the weather. Physically it shouldn’t be that taxing since it was pretty much low mileage trip. 13-18 miles per day. We were on the trail about 6-7 hours each day and it was pretty relaxing compared to previous trips. I had done hikes where we hiked from dawn to dusk.

    However, we were rushing from point to point and that kind of worn our spirits. The two other ladies though seemed unaffected. Maybe it was just me who was tired. I like to take my time – if we get there we get there, if not, then make the best of it.

    Being pressed at all time get to me. I was stressed out with my own run these past two weeks. I have a marathon in two weeks and I don’t feel I am ready. I haven’t been running much since the last marathon. I ran about 12 miles per week since. I want to be ready for it. I hope to be able to pull a long run thos weekend – if only my body can handle it. Then taper a bit. Or the last two weeks really has been the tapering period.

    I was a bit stressed at work too. I won’t say much but there are a lot needed to be done. Somehow, some way, they will be done.

    Trying to sleep whenever I can, I took a quick nap during lunch the other day and another one on my way home. Those breaks were good.

    Mentally, I am all over the place.

    ===

    This was an old post I wrote on Tuesday but didn’t publish. The content is still relevant to be published. So here it is but it might be a bit repetitive to the ‘last’ post (126).

    I finally remember what I was going to write for post 126. It was originally intended for this post (127) . The ordering is a bit mix up but it is OK.

    Many people think I am awesome and did many crazy things (in term hiking, running, camping and all). It is because I only post things when I had something great to share. Many times though my days are pretty boring. Only maybe a weekend come around that I get to do something ‘exciting’.

    In my fellowship group this morning, we shared what would make a good life. We all kind of know the answer that we want to have a meaningful and purposeful life. We want to make a different in this world. Make things better. Not to just to take take take and then run the place (earth) down. We want to be happy. It is also a deep question to answer what can make us really happy. Ultimately it is point to something intangible and eternal.

    As I was pondering about this, a separate thought occured that I am reminded of my new year resolution. Every day, I want to be better myself (especially with my running). I have to consciously make that choice. I realized the past two weeks, I have been backsliding. I lack the intensity and the aggressiveness (and drive) I had before. The word that dawned on me was I want to be transformed. Radically changed. A total make over.

    My pastor on Wednesday spoke of what it takes to be transformed. People around will know if you have a relationship with him like people all around me know I have a relationship with running. I was going to tie it in on my last post with that idea but somehow it escaped me until now.

  • 19.4 Review

    Day 120 / Review#4 – spring time

    What happens: A review of last 30 days from March to May. I felt a lot had happened and also not much at the same time. Last time I wrote a review, there was still snow and I did the first half marathon this year then. Note 30 days are not the actual calendar days but days of that were journaled (a meaningful day). I could also use the word entry, but I like day better.

    As always, the last review can be found here [last]. I am still figuring out how I want to do this, if I should write strictly a summary or provide something new focusing the present (like provide a snapshot), or both.

    Here’s a look back of the last 30 days.

    1) running of the Roanoke Marathon. Its training spanned through several months. The race was a foundation for all the races I will do this year. The training was long and I felt I was a beginner runner all over. More on the race is in the report [race].

    My goal this year is to be an ultra runner. My first trail ultra race is only a month away (actually will be my second, but it is a first one with hills). I did some mountain running and I gotta say, it is hard. Hills are not hills,… they go on forever. Roanoke marathon showed me that.

    While hiking is a fun activity, to me it is also a training. I am pleased that I was able to do a great hike (backpacking) at Tory Ridge [hike]. I also started to train on trails during the weekends. I am not there at where I should be yet. There is still much to do to get ready.

    Off tangent: I probably leave my review with one point hanging. I ran out of things to say…I have stuffs to write about but I found them boring (like doing chores). I like to go off tangent.

    I started to write only on the weekend because that when things are happening. I do my races on weekends. I hike, backpack, train, and everything on the weekend. I do train during the week too, but each day mostly after work, there is only limited time and I want to hit the bed as early as I can. One thing I changed was going to bed early! It was part of the over all goal to be more efficient and choosing to do what most important.

    Other major events were running the Frederick Half, (too lazy to provide a link), running the cherry blossom race, couple weekend training (Easter).

    I looked back on my New Year Resolution couple days ago. Some of those were on the right track. I’m proud of my training and runs. Other things like eating better…Needs much improved, to try again.

    I started going to gym last couple weeks. I like being sored on other parts of my body other than the legs. I’m so proud of this. Along the same line, I found a buddy who will do a mini triathlon sprint with me. Hopefully that will get me into the Tri world. I’m excited. It is all about ramming up the intensity.

    Relationship. Everything is tied to people. I would like to ignore this aspect but it is really the bedrock of everything I do. It is through people that I found meaning in all my activities. I could say run in the woods by myself but then it is because I want to able to run with people in a race. I don’t know what I’m writing here, just taking a stab at it. I like to run for the sake of running too.

    I thank God for friends and a group of guys who keep me on track in life. Having this group of friends is the biggest change in the last couple months.

    Last couple months, my Friend K really got me back on track. I had a defining moment! I (or she) solved one of the biggest problems since the beginning (120 days ago), which was just lurking in the back and I had no idea how to tackle head on. I was much relief. I’m speaking vaguely here but really, it should change my life. Of course my relationship with K, and my perspective of everything changed. More to come. I now have more intensity and life than ever before!

    [Last] https://antin.blog/2019/03/06/19-3-review/
    [Race] https://antin.blog/2019/04/15/roanoke/

    [Hike] https://antin.blog/2019/03/31/torry-ridge-bp/

  • Wednesday

    Mid week already. Life really starts on weekends. There were so much happened that it takes a week to unpacked.

    I was going to write more about it. There were so much other thoughts I wanted to capture. Friday night was a high point because I attended a talk called Secret Church from an organization called Radical. This was my first ever. We had a long prayer/fasting marathon and I was dozing in and out. In the end everything was a blur. We prayed for East Africa — I forgot the name of the country. A recurring thought to me was I got to go there. There are probably some amazing hikes to do there. I wish there were more videos on the place, but time was short. The talk was entertaining though that was not the point.

    The next day, I hiked Meneka peak. I thought nothing could top Friday night. A lot of interesting things happened. It was a first we got to hike with some of our good friends who complained we always doing too many crazy 20 miles hikes. We brought the intensity down couple notches. It was under 9 miles. The crazy thing happened was near the top, we ran into a group who told us some fire up on the peak. We went and checked out. My group leader didn’t find any smoke or fire. Few hours later, while I was doing my trail run on the mountain, I ran into a team of fire marshals/rangers and they were asking me if I saw any fire/smoke. I then checked every camp sites up on the peak making sure no fire. I touched every fire pit and they were cold. I did came a large log or a long tree trunk some crazy camper was trying to burn. The campers had left. I guess they didn’t completely put out the fire. Maybe that was what the cause of concern from a group of hikers we came across earlier and they called the fire department.

    Sunday was also pretty amazing because I was running a race. It was a new race I never done before. I want to write a race report on it. It was a 10K. The race was short, but there were 2,500 people running it. It was just awesome. I wasn’t at my usual pace but toward the end, I got faster.

    Today, I did some ‘hill’ run by running up the stairs at my office building. I realized I could only mantain my breathing up to five floors. I was not used to doing hill run.

    The week has been good so far. I started working out at my work gym everyday and it feels good to be sored all over.

    And lastly, there is a chance I will do a triathlon this year. I found a friend who indicated he will do it with me. There are too races I have my eyes on.

    Day 114