In awe

Blog

  • On my way

    Day 207

    I plan to stay offline for the next 2+ weeks for my trip to Patagonia. I should be back by Christmas. I am going to Chile. I guess many have been wondering where am I going. I kept it semi-secret because not wanting to jinx it. It is a trip I wanted so badly. Now within couple hours away from boarding, all is assure I will be on the plane and flying out. Actually, I am still on my way to the airport, anything can happen.

    Also I won’t be running during those time away. This would be the longest time that I ever would stop running. Hopefully, when I get back, I can start my training. People think it is easy…but each race is hard and training is harder still. I will be training for three ultras, with the longest one being 70 miles. The nearest one will be four months away.

  • Time

    Day 206

    Time is something we don’t have enough. There are so many things I needed to do before the trip but you can only do so much.

    I was trying to finish the stuffs at my workplace but I did less than I wanted to be done. What can you do when you are short handed. I feel bad for the person who is covering for me.

    I also wanted to do some work while I am away to lessen the burden of my helper. I know I am stressing her quite a bit. Feeling bad for her just not enough. I am feeling sick about it and feeling guilty of going. Still I will be going…with a heavy heart.

    Unfortunately, I am currently not able to pack the laptop into my travel bag. I am doing backpacking and almost everything in my backpack is essential. A laptop just won’t cut it. Also, how will I get internet access? I will be in the wilderness most of the time. I looked into satellite linkup but that cost almost as much as my trip.

    I have been quite stress out ladt couple days. I have less than 36 hours till point of no return. The trip is a go.

    It will be a good trip, if only…!

    I know for god’s sake, I am going on a trip of a life time and I should just relax. Many people make this trip possible.

  • Going places

    Day 205

    This post is hard for me to write. For some people (like my hiking friend), they love traveling. For me, I have such a fear, stressful/worrying kind of fear of going to places, no matter if it is local or is far away. I am content to stay at home. I know a coworker of mine too who shares my view and she is happy just by staying at home for her vacation. I like to tease her about it. Really, I was teasing myself too.

    However, I have been going to many places recently due to backpacking and running. They do help me to build up a higher tolerant of fear.

    I am an immigrant and came to the US when I was a child. Traveling shouldn’t be strange to me. However, I remember I did not want to come to the US back then. At the time, I did understand why we had to or how much better for us to move. I had to go where my mom was taking me. It was silly of me to have wanted to stay back at my home country than to go, now thinking back. Now I really love the US, having grown up here, there is no other home for me.

    I had similar occasions while growing up during my teen years, when we would have to move to a different place. Looking back, it was not that many times, but each times were like a life changing event. Luckily in the recent years, I have not had to move. I have been staying put at the same place for a long time.

    Last few years were kind of stressful, when I started running. Running let me to explore places around my neighborhood, to places where I normally don’t get to. I usually just drove/walked from my house to the bus/train station and to the grocery shop, which would be the extend of my travel. However, with running, I needed to put in the miles and it forced me to go to new places. I had to run a little farther to places I normally would not go.

    Pretty soon, I was not just running just around my neighborhood, but running in other parts of our county/city. I would take my car to a new place and ‘explore’ it on foot. Pretty soon after, I was doing races in my neighboring states. I don’t have to, but one of my goals is to run in all 50 states kind of make me have to travel outside my area. I have traveled to about five states now (not including the state I am in). I wish I can add, pretty soon I will go run marathons in another country. Not yet for now.

    Backpacking kind of get me through my fear of traveling the last couple of years. I am still much afraid, but I have been doing it with a friend, and I was not afraid when I was with her…unless she herself becomes afraid as once time she was. I have hardly done any backpacking just by myself.

    Having a companion definitely helps. My trips for my races to Delaware, Pennsylvania, Washington, and West Virginia were all done with my mom. Haha! I went to Maryland to race (NCR and Baltimore Marathon) by myself (though the first half marathon in Maryland, my mom came with me, but subsequent trips to Maryland were all done alone by myself). I have become a pro now! I mentioned a one of previous entries, that Maryland is no longer a ‘foreign country’ to me.

    Now next week, I will be out of the country. Really get out. This is my fourth times in my life. I have my passport and documents ready. Yes, my hiking friend will be going with me, but I have still been terrified about it. I have spent many sleepless nights staying up or awaking in the middle of the night and unable to get back to sleep because of it.

    No one made me to go some would say, but I am going to go. I am taking it as a dare. I am not a globe trotter. Sorry I probably won’t blog about my travel – I wish I could. I am gritting my teeth and will get on the airplane next week with butterfly in my stomach.

  • Good news

    Day 204!

    I got into all the races included Laurel Highlands. I just found out today that my check was cashed.

    Why? Laurel Highlands Ultra is just old fashion in the way they run the race. They require runners to print out an online application form, fill it out by hand and mail it in with a check of the amount needed. This is a first for me. I signed up so many races in the past and they were all done online. This race takes runners back in time.

    This race, since it is done the old fashion way, the only way (earliest at least) to know if you get in is to monitor your bank account to see if your check is cashed. Mine just got cashed. I am so happy.

    Now the real work is about to begin. This race is no joke. It is 70 miles and has over 10,000 ft of climbing. A significant amount.

    I have six months to get ready. That seems to be a lot of time but really, it is not that much. Since, I don’t think I did that well in the JFK (75 percentile), I need to train harder. My goal is to finish under 20 hours. Not sure if that is a reasonable, but it is my goal to not get a DNF (drop-out).

    I will be doing a marathon doubler in April (52 miles), and another 50 miles at Grayson Highlands in May.

    Doing two 50 milers before Laurel Highlands is a bit of an overkilled. I mentioned to readers that I got into Grayson Highlands recently after being placed on a waiting list.

  • Training soon

    Day 203

    I should start running again. I checked my schedule. I don’t really have that much time to be slacking off. Ideally, I should start building my base now.

    I don’t know if I will get into the 70-mile race yet. Some have gotten in. There is no announcement yet if the race is full. Technically, only two days elapsed. The Post Office was off on Thursday and Sunday. I should know by the end of the week.

    People say to treat the 70 miles like a 100 mile race and I have been reading up on it. People were saying to keep big races 6 months apart. I have three big races all within a month apart. I did not know or think about that when I signed them up. I have the Roanoke Doubler in mid April, Two or three weeks later, I will do the Grayson Highlands 50 miler, and if I get into Laurel Highlands, that a 70 mile run and it is about five weeks later. I can do without one of the races.

    For the April race, I should start training now to build my base. I went out yesterday and did a 15 mile run. The run was difficult the first couple miles and then it started to flow. I ran with ease for the remaining miles, finishing in about 2.5 hours. Funny, the circuit used to be tough for me for a long run while training for a marathon. I thought in the past, the course was hilly. However, right now, I blasted through it like it was a 10k. My limiting factor now is not my breathing but my muscle. Temperature might have played a factor. Last time I did it was in the summer. I run better in the cold.

    Also I have a two week trip coming up. I don’t plan to train while I’m away. My December schedule is pretty much booked with holidays and travel.

    I plan to post a few more entries before I leave. I won’t be back until Christmas. It is likely the place I am going will have limited or no internet access.

  • Some math

    Day 202

    I struggled with this of not having a purpose at the end of every running season. The things I do: I work. I run. and I relax.

    Work is pretty much an auto-drive. I don’t write much about it. I go in, work, and I get paid. It generates revenue for me to do things. It is to me a necessary evil! I won’t describe it as real evil but I wish I don’t have to put 9 to 6 every day or any day, even if work is really good. It is a third of my life! But I do need the money. This is our world we in, and for most people is like this. There are only a handful of people in the world who don’t have to work – unless we are unemployed, retired, or can’t work. We work, so that we get paid. And we do stuff (spend) with it. People talk about investing, but that’s for another post.

    I think about it a lot! I kind of need the money. In truth though if to just survive with food only, I have made enough supposingly to last for a lifetime.

    How do you calculate? What is minimal calories need to sustain life? How much does that cost? Let guess $10-20 a day (first world problem I know; third world figure is $1-2 a day when I was back in school – the amount is probably still the same unfortunately). So you need about $3650 a year. I am at mid-life, and maybe will live for another 50 years, so times 50. I’d need about $187,500 to $365,000. Given it is still a big sum of money, and not many have it, but it is not unimaginably large. There are those who follow the FIRE movement (Financial Independent and Retire Early). I am not a high earner compare to my peers who are making twice or three times my salary — also a tricky comparison because there are those who made much less. For me though if I really want to, I can retire within 10 years, before my official retirement age. It is not out of reach. So it is kind of a false belief that we are tied to our work. I might have writen about this before.

    Many immediately can point out, what about shelter and clothing and other stuffs we want and need. True. Hence, the reason I am and everyone else are still working. I love to drive my big loud truck and go places. A bit excessive I know. However, they are choices we make. Even my own food expense is costing me more than my estimate. Sorry to those who lives on a year with less than $600, or even $6,000 income and here I am debating if $600 is enough for food for a month. I recently watched a video on world wealth distribution and know how much wealth I have and my country have compare to the rest of the people. I am not rich, but the video has a point, I am very favorable. I know as I was growing up, not too long ago, our family food budget was between $100-200. Inflation does not account such fast growth in cost now. I spent more is the bottom line (and I don’t cook for myself). Actually I don’t know how much I need to spend for food. I really need to budget and to cook. I could do better. My shelter costs me more than food. I should aim to buy a piece of land in the wilderness and live off it! That would be a dream.

    I am investing, with the hope that a day will come when I can’t work any more and when my income from investments, would be greater than my present earning salary. Yes, it is a hope, like many people. Who know if it is still true 20-30 years from now.

    What else do I do? I run. I spent time running, reading about running, watching movies or videos on running, planning for next run or race, and looking up for the next race and so forth.

    Then I veg’d. It may be a form of relaxation. I sometimes stop doing anything – like now. I don’t know why. I just finished a big race a week ago. I haven’t had much desire to run or do anything. So I have been laying low (literally too).

    I can’t imagine a few years ago, before I took up running, I really had nothing to do. I wasted my life fulltime back then! Now I only waste it a day here or there. Well to some, running is also a waste of time. We each find what we like to do outside of work, where to others might be a waste of time. Not me, unfortunately. I do like what I do for a living, but just it is not the same as running. I definitely like running more.

    I should think more on it too. Some might say I live only for myself. Is it not selfish? It probably is. I help other people incidentally but never purposefully like I am going devote my life for others. One of my friends is like that. She advocates on issues for the oppressed and of injustice in her free time. Most of us in the first world are blind or we put blinder on to ignore this (even me). Actually, that what God requires of his people, is to love mercy and render justice (Micah 6:8a).

    Maybe a little time-out for me at this point in time, helps me to refocus my priority of what I should be doing in life: To not live in excess, and pursue a nobler life.

  • November, bye bye

    Day 201

    Last day of the month. I had nothing to do today. It has been quiet in my life. No trip no run.

    I have spent my day reading on my own journals! I reread my last race report at least 4 times. I have been reading other people reports too. I love it. I guess, to relive the moment. I want to read a report from the fast runners (front of the pack), the average runners (midle of the pack), and the slower / and even those who couldn’t finish. So far, I have read two of mid-pack, they finished around 10-hour mark.

    I guess I have nothing to do.

    I had a great race on Thanksgiving Day. I did the Ashburn Farm 10K. It was a slow run for me because I was still recovering from the 50 Miler. Apparently, my legs were good and I was faster than I thought! Much faster than I thought possible. I finished under 55 mins.

    The funny thing was before the start I was trying to figure my pace. I couldn’t. I had no idea how to run a 10k any more. I went and just ran it with no idea on pacing. I know if I am fresh I could run somewhere around 50 minutes. I know during the 50 miler, I was running 14-15 min per mile. So 6 mile run, could take me 1.5 hrs to finish. I told my friend who came to watch me that I will be coming in around 1 hr mark. I did! I surprised myself.

    I was a good run.

  • Review 19.6

    Day 200 Fall Review

    My running season (7th) is finally over, with a cap of successfully completing the JFK. It has been an intense roller coaster ride. I went through the highest of high and lowest of low in my runs and in my personal life to get there.

    My last report from Day150, was from early August. Instead of a report of every 30 days, I lengthened to 50 days, so I don’t have to write too many reports. A monthly or bi-monthly report has become a seasonal report. My one year of blogging just passed and I reflected on that recenly.

    At the end of summer, I was ready for fall training for the JFK. I trained for about 9 weeks and then I don’t know what happen. I stopped. I still ran but I didn’t log my miles and basically went off the training schedule. Luckily I didn’t blew my JFK race. However, if I have kept to the schedule, I might have done better. I did well, but who knows how much better I could have done.

    I wrote a race report on the JFK. The ultras that helped me to train up to it were OldGlory and MCM50k. I also did the Baltimore Marathon and Morgantown. I had a good time in both. I did couple earlier marathons (C&O1 and Altis) in September, however, I did not enjoyed those as much as the ultras and Baltimore. I thought it was an intense season, but now looking back, it was just about right.

    When I was not running, I had several good backpacking trips. The whole season was a struggle between training and doing other things, which I also liked. Roan Mnt trip was pretty good. At Dolly Sods, our hiking group learned a good lesson. Our trips to Mt Pleasant (occurred in the summer) and to Wild Oaks were also memorable.

    This season, I struggled with many things: my diet was totally off. I struggled with staying on my training. I don’t have a record how many miles I ran (tracked only up to week 9). I don’t think it was that much, around maybe 300 miles. I was lucky, indeed, and did not DNF on my races. I was also struggled with schedule conflict between racing/training/and other commitments.

    There were always trade-offs and sacrifices. I had to cancel the High Bridge Ultra and plus a hiking trip to the Triple Crown — both had lasting effects that haunted me and I hate to have plan changed on me. One word on trade-offs, neither choice have the same value – say trading a race for a hike, or a hike for a race, may seem like doing the same thing, but is not. In life, I don’t think there is ever an equal/fair choice. I hurt those around me with my choices.

    I dealt with couple times of low spirit in this season and sometimes I skipped my runs, especially the short runs. In fact I am still in the thick of it; yelp, season is over, but I still think about running. I skipped some of my races – big ones too, first time ever. I had to dig deep to find and regain a motivation to run and to overcome the busyness to train; too many things happened, things at my job at work and my relationship with other people. And even my weight training program was stopped. Only constant theme though was pushing on. I finished the JFK at a great cost. The season was a longer version of the race itself, except there is no finish line to cross and no crowd there to celebrate and no medal to receive. However, I am satisfied that the goal was accomplished and that is a reward.

    Luckily I have been healthy throughout. I had short period of pain and shin splint and various ankle rolls and such, but over all was healthy. There was no injury serious enough to sideline me.

    Looking ahead, I scheduled quite a few races for next year. It will be just as intense season like this one. God is good!

  • JFK race report

    Day 198 / First 50 Miler / Long Post

    It has been two years in the making. The race was within my expectation. I was (well) prepared and finished the race within my expected time. It was long but was not too hard. I was feeling great throughout the race. We had near perfect fall running temperature. I was well pleased with everything.

    I heard about this race from my friend Jenn, who ran it in 2017. At that time, I had ran three marathons and really no desire to punish myself to do an ultra. 26.2 miles was my thing and no longer distances than that. I thought people who ran ultra were crazy.

    But Jenn was something else. She is always so cool, and speaks with a Hawaiian ascent. She left me with a deep impression after she said she did the JFK. When she said she did the JFK, I had to asked her a few times what it was. Apparently it was America’s oldest ultra. It is quite famous in the running community especially in our area. This can be considered a local race, with an hour from the nation’s capital. I was the only one of budding runners who was clueless about it. She set a dream in my heart there and then that I wanted to run the JFK too.

    My goal was, to do the JFK, so that if Jenn was going to run a longer ultra like a 100 miler, I would be ready to pace her or be part of her handlers.

    I know at the time even with three marathons under my belt, I was in no shape mentally or physically to do a 50 miler. In fact I couldn’t comprehend how far 50 miles is. Some might feel they could train up in a year, but I was a little wimpy. I felt I would need at least 2 years to get there.

    I decided to only take a baby step and planned to do a 50k ultra by the following year. I chose what now looking back was one of the easiest ultras. I glad I did it. You can read my report all about the First Landing 50k seashore marathon (report of my first 50k). I thought at the time, that was the hardest thing I have done. That was the end of 2018.

    Now brought us to this year, with a new confident of having done the 50k ultra. I was itching to sign up for the JFK. I don’t remember when I signed up, probably sometimes in March/April after a careful consideration. The rest then was history.

    I ran a few other 50k this year before doing the JFK. Three of them: Eastern Divide 50k, Marine Corps 50K, and Old Glory 50k. They were helpful. Eastern Divide was one that was planned as a training run for JFK, while the other two were incidental. However, they were great, looking back, in getting me ready. The Eastern Divide and the Old Glory were much tougher than the first 50k. Having done the Old Glory, JFK’s mountainous trail portion was truly a joke.

    I also signed up two other ultras that in the end I didn’t do: High Bridge and Iron Mnt. I’m not sure if I have done those, would I have been overtrained? Praise God for how things turned out.

    My JFK race was pretty much in line with my expectation. My goal was to finish within 12 hours. The course cut off time was 13 hours. I set a stretch goal (A-goal) to finish at 75% percentile, which is 11 and half hours. I did it (close enough to call a success, by finishing at 11:30:30).

    What I did not anticipate was how long and tiring the middle section was. I had planned to treat the race in three phases, the first trail section, the middle canal section, and the final rolling hills on the road. I expected the first segment would not be exhausting because I would walk with everyone else due to most people were not good at running on rocky trail. I placed my hope that I would still be fresh by the second part. The second and the third part was supposed to be like a 50k ultra, with couple miles extra.

    The trail section was 13 miles, and the canal section was 26 miles, and the final road section was 8 miles.

    At the start, there were a lot of people. They said the race was sold out. There were supposed to be 1500 1200 entries. However, I don’t think everyone came. I was at the bib handling out table the morning of the race and saw many bibs were uncollected by runners. I felt maybe only a thousand of us crossed the start line.

    We staged at the Boonsboro High School and from there walked about 800 yards to the starting line because there were not enough parking spaces in the downtown area of Boonsboro. The town is really small!

    I started at the end of the pack, but only 1 and half minute had elapsed as I crossed the starting line. I figured, I was not a strong runner. This was my first 50 miler and I already expected to finish around 75 percentile (meaning 75/100 will be finishing ahead of me). I didn’t mind starting at the back. Besides, if I am fast, I could pass people.

    The first two miles were on the road to Old Mountain Inn, where we would enter the Appalachian Trail. These first two miles out of the town were 1000 feet climb (maybe 1800 over 5 miles). Most people walked. I ran and passed a lot of people because I did not want to get stuck behind those who I believe couldn’t run on the trail. If they refused to run on smooth pavement, they likely would not run on rocky trail as my logic goes. I arrived at the Old Mountain Inn in 30 minutes (doing a 15 minutes pace). The pace was not fast but, compare to people who were walking, it was a fast pace.

    I entered the trail with great enthusiasm. I was surprised that people in front of me did not slow down (meaning I had caught up with my pace group). The first part of the trail was downhill. Then it got a bit technical as the trail narrows. People started stopping. The people behind me impatiently murmured that you supposed to run down hill. People were walking downhills and it was on a single trail and was difficult to pass. I kind of expecting this. I told those people behind me that the trail would widen up ahead, since I ran this section before during the preview event, I knew.

    Personally, I don’t think the trail was hard to run. There are some technical parts, but the trail, since 56 previous JFK events had been stomped ‘flat’ by thousands of feet. When the trail widen out, people in the rear passed me. I then followed along and passed the slower crowd up front. It did not take me long to pass most of those who were more cautious at handling the trail.

    It was outside of my plan to run fast on this portion. However, I think this was the best part of the race. I ran hard compared to the rest of the race. Some might view this being stupid because I used up my strength when there were still 35 more miles to do. A few times during the trail portion my calf seized up as I leaped across some rocks, but luckily, it passed without further incident.

    I entered the second segment, the canal, one and half hours ahead of schedule. Originally, my plan was to enter at near the cutoff time. However, I finished the trail in 3 hours, this included the half hour on the road section. The trail only took me two and half hours to do. This time was even faster than my preview run. At this point, I was with the 30 percentile people – there were only 300+ people ahead of me.

    The canal segment was not that exciting. However, my friend David was first to greet me and cheered for me. He was my support team. My other friend Brian was supporting me remotely! It was my first race with a crew. He had everything with him. I did not depend on him beforehand, so did not tell him what I need. He came up with some of my favorite snacks and candies. I had hot spots on my left foot. Unfortunately, my friend did not bring with him any cream or powder; he had band-aids. He was right, I did not ask him to bring those. Luckily, I had an extra pair of socks and I swapped the sock of the left foot. My foot was fine for the remainder of the race.

    The canal section was a whole marathon length. We had plenty of aid stations. Many people I passed earlier on the trail passed me back. It was expected because most people were road runners. I was doing around 14-15 min mile and I think people were running at around 10-11 min mile. I felt each mile was very long.

    I knew I could do it. At the same there was the uncertainty of how many miles longer I could keep going. The whole canal section could be a hump. My goal was to get to the next aid station. Usually, they were about 2-3 miles apart. The longest distance apart was closer to 5 miles.

    Also I had couple goals, and one was to get to Antietam Aqueduct or Taylor’s Landing, where my crew would be. It was very emotional each time I saw David. Taylor’s Landing was the hardest for me, because that was the last time I would see him. He said I only have 11 miles to go. It seemed short but at that time, it was beyond my expectation to say I can do it. There were only two miles to get off the canal from Taylor’s Landing and we would enter the final road section. It was a long two miles. Rain started falling. I was feeling cold.

    In fact, I was cold the whole day. I dressed in two layers a short sleeves and a long sleeves technical shirt. I had a pair of shorts on. I thought in the morning when the temperature reached 50 degrees, I would get rid of my long sleeves, I was never warm enough to do that. As the rain fell, I regretted not carrying along my rain jacket. Originally, I thought I wouldn’t mind the rain, however, as you were getting cold and I was not running fast enough to generate enough heat, an extra layer, would be a welcome. The rain did not last. I was saved. If it had come down hard, I might have quitted with only 8 miles left to go.

    The last 8 miles boistered my spirit again. I think the time was around 4:30. I had been running for 10 hours. It was longest and fartest I had ever run. I found the rolling roads were much easier to run on. In truth though my pace did not change that much. We passed people who were walking or were doing walk-run. With three hours left to do 8 miles, we were more certain even if we were to walk, we would make to the finish by cut off. My goal then was to get within the final 3 miles. We had three aid stations spread out for the final stretch.

    The reason I used ‘we’ here is, someone caught up to me and was following from behind. I felt she had the power to overtake me, but she did not do so. I did not turn around but kept on going until we got to the first of the last three stations. At first I found it was annoying of her tailing me. She seemed to be just a step behind me – not really drafting, but I felt she was very near, the feeling she was on top of me. However, I did not say anything. Readers, if you remember, I like to follow other people too, so I tried not to mind, if she decided to follow me.

    After the aid station, implicitly, she was running by my side. We exchanged info and such. She said, don’t mind her if she is running slow and I shouldn’t mind to leave her. I don’t mind pacing next to her. I believe she was a stronger runner than I, now after reviewing her pace from the whole race, the segment she was with me was much slower and she was running much faster earlier. Regardless, she paced with me and me with her to the very end. It was very good to have a companion at this final stretch. (Fair to say, another runner, Kim, paced me through a hump for 5 miles to Taylor’s Landing).

    As we got to the 2nd of the 3 aid stations, the sun had set. We put on headlamps. Some/many did not have them. Just the two of us were prepared and I was glad we had them. People on the forum said we did not need it. True, we probably could do without because the terrain was easy, but it was good to have. There were many places without street lights and it was total darkness.

    The last aid station was far compared to the first two, it was 3 miles instead of two and it was just within a mile from the finish. My companion, Marnie kept at my side. Couple times, I felt I wanted to tell her to leave me, but she stayed. We finished. I hit my goal. I felt I had superhuman strength to run the last eight miles. With Marnie, I did not walk at all. Many people we passed at the last segment, were walking. I would be walking too if not for her.

    The race itself compared with my previous ultras was pretty much kind of a cakewalk. I felt the Old Glory was much more enjoyable and challenging. JFK was just long and (can be a bit boring). What I got out was friendship and experience, which is invaluable.

    ETC: total number registered was 1200 not 1500. At least 959 people started, and 867 finished within the 13 hours limit.

    2022/11/20 – some minor editing