In awe

Tag: random

  • Happy 4th [Day564]

    Not much is happening with me. I am just being lazy…with everything, my training, and life. There’s not much available bandwidth…

    Looking back, The MMT race took a helluva out of me.

    Not complaining. It has been my focus for the last two years and was finally over. Now what do I do?

    I do intend to run it again next year. Looking back, why was it so hard? It does not seem to be that hard.

    I know one person who ran it 5 times. I was wondering why so many times? And then my next question I had was if it is so good why stopped?

    I wish I’d never lost the passion.

    Lately, I have been doing a lot of evaluations. Do I still have the fire in me. I know it is always like this. Training up and hitting the low points once the race is done.

    For me, I believe I can run a 100 mile now. It is not that much tougher than a marathon. I have done it 5 times. Eight if counting the 3 that I did not finish.

    Last weekend (two/three weeks ago by the time this is posted), I watched the Western States 100. It was incredible. My eyes were glued to the youtube livestream and engaged what they called angry watching! I was not angry though. Yes, the live chat had some incidents. Many trolls were banned was what I read. Yes, I saw the course record being broken by two female runners. A record that hasn’t been touch for over a decade. They believed this record will stand for a long time. Courtney D. and Katie S. ran a record breaking time. The live coverage was so good. We don’t have anything like that at our races.

    Definitely Old Dominion was pale in comparison. It is a different culture. There were a lot of hypes and celebrations for Western States. My races here were less so. I saw so many famous runners at the Western States. Oh the golden hour or the final hour of the race was a tear jerking moment. A runner came so close of finishing, missing it just a minute or so! We were cheering for him to make it in on time at 29:59:59. He did not. He no less ran a 100 mile.

    I wish I can get into the Western States. I have a chance for the lotto ticket from having finishing the MMT this year. I just have to remember to enter the drawing in December. Yes, please pray to the lotto god for me. I entered once two years ago after the Laurel Highlands race, but didn’t get in.

    Anyway… It is a pipe dream.

    Relating to this, not sure if I wrote about it, last year or the year before when a few of the runners attempted to run through Shenandoah National Park on the Appalachian Trail from the south to the north. It is about 100 miles (104). I offerred to pace a runner, however, the runner turned me down because I was not fast enough. At the time I don’t think I had done a 100 mile yet and was kind of interested in this craziness. It has since been on my mind to do it.

    This past weekend, I got a chance to help a fellow runner attempting this feat. He did not finish (did only 30 miles), but had a good training run out there. I did not think he was serious in doing the whole length. Anyway, I got to learn more about the trail.

    July 4, I plan to run a 5k. I will report on it once done. (probably).

    Been laying low last week. I think I ran total maybe 4 miles. I haven’t run at all this week. For the whole month, I think I did about 50-60 miles. I am sad. I usually do many times this like in the 500-600 miles range.

    Anyway.

    I also spent more time working on my car. I love doing mechanical work as much as running. I wish I have my own garage for me to take everything apart.

    I am not that good with mechanical stuff, but I replaced my own oil for the first time on this car. I love it. Oil was flowing everywhere! Ah, but I love it. I did alright.

    This week I am attempt to replace the coolant and thermostat in my car. Wish me luck!

    Any since this is published on July 4th (US Independent Day celebration), Happy 4th everyone!

  • Day537 random talks

    Nothing big happened this week following the Cowtown Marathon.

    I am a bit bored as usual and feeling a bit unproductive and negative.

    My legs are still sore even a week after. I have not run much to save them. I did try running 7 miles on Thursday. It got the blood flowing. Theorectically, I should be good to run again.

    I spent some time to update my race schedule. Everything seems pretty good. Most decisions and races are set and good to go. There were no major changes to them. It was more like me polishing them.

    I did sign up a couple “small” races. This Sunday, I will run the Reston 10 miler. It is a local race. I did this one once or twice before. I couldn’t remember when was the last time I ran it. It might have been 2018. Ancient history.

    Second race I signed up was Lake Ridge (Lake Claytor) 12-hr run. I ran this the last two years and enjoyed the low – layback vibe of the race. Usually it is about dozen or so runners, and we meet at the lake and run until we drop dead and then run some more. This year will be in May, the week before my MMT – run of doom 100. heehee. Good day to chill before doing a 100 mile.

    The third race is Eastern Divide 50k. This was pretty much the ultra that got me into trail running in 2019. I have meant to go back to run it again. It was an ultra that beat my butt, finished in 7 hours and I thought that was hard. Now a day a 7 hour run is pretty tame. This race is beautiful point to point run. You climbed up the side of the waterfall ran through some country roads, and then through a field with an overlook. Boy, I ran this in the summer and it was hot. I remembered eating watermellon with salt at an aid station. I would love to relive that again. This year, the race will be in the fall, in November. It will be a bit different. I look forward to it nonetheless.

    I reviewed some of the conflicts in the schedule. Nothing much can be done. I can’t be in two places at once unless I have a clone or two. Some races would have to be deferred to next year.

    Now I want to run Stone Mill again. The race registration will not be open until May 15. Stone Mill though is in conflict with the Richmond Marathon. Also there is a race in Georgia also on that weekend. I am also eyeing Philadelphia Marathon, and it conflicts with Route 66 Marathon. All these would have to be sorted out later. So I would have pick one or the other. I also received an email informing me the race for the ALQ 50k registration will be open on April 22. The RD wrote that last year, it sold out after 45 minutes.

    *Sigh*

    I am happy even getting one race done this year. Here I am juggling with a dozen of races.

    There are two decisions I am afraid to face. One is April 29. It’s the GSER 100k. I know I can do it. I know my mission/vision is to be bold and not turn down a race. Yet I feel I have turn this race down this year. Because the following week, I will be running the Toronto Marathon, and I want to do well in that because it will be my international debut. My family is accompanied me on that trip. I don’t want to disappoint them with an average finishing time.

    The second decision is Lake Tahoe Marathon series. To run three marathons and a 70 mile race around Lake Tahoe. I want to do it. Yet this one actually puts some fear in me. Can I do it? I will have Grindstone 100 in Sept. Lake Tahoe is in October. I think I should be recovered by then. Yet, there is the sense of fear in me. If Lake Tahoe is the only race I will be doing, I would do it. I have other races lined up already. I felt I won’t be able to give it the due respect. According to my mission statement, I should do it. Fear is good.

    Coming back from Fort Worth Marathon, you know I met some people who share my passion. One of the pacers I was with, discovered marathons couple years ago. While running with him, he was so full of energy and that child like eagerness. You know what make a runner happy is asking the person what one race you like the most. I could go on and on. We went on for too long even other runners around us got annoyed. Yes, please don’t ask me about my races.

    Anyway, I am thankful I got to run some really cool race. Not sure what I will do this weekend. I will write more when I am ready.

  • Day465 and so it begins

    Nothing much happened for me last week. I might as well take the week off for a mental health break. And I did, from running that is.

    I blame the booster shot. It made me super tired and unmotivated. I was better though by the end of the week but I did not run.

    Running for me used to be effortless – well almost. This week, it was something more. I can’t find the joy in doing something I like so much in the past. I know it is ok to take a break from time to time. This time it was not a break I am looking for. It was a dread. It was a mental thing of unable to pull myself together. I can only describe it as a panic attack. It is weird to say it now but it felt like I was going to die if I even moved. So I stayed still, in my room, on my bed and time just flew away. The only thing I noticed was sunrise and sunset. I don’t think it was laziness.

    By the end of the week (day 10 actually), I got down on my knee and prayed. This can’t go on I know. I need to live my life. Whether you believe it or not, I said I don’t know where the anxiety is coming from but it is paralyzing me and I couldn’t do anything worthwhile in this state. I had Lyme disease before when my body couldn’t run. This time, I know my body is able to run but my mind is jacked. My source of greatest joy became my fear. When I ran, I felt if my heart would crush me and the sky would fall. God answered. My fear (heaviness or whatever that is) was lifted. I could think clearly again. I could plan and go about my things.

    I could write plenty about the Russian war that broke out this week. The only thing is if we really care about preventing it, we should have troops on the ground to fight alongside against the opponent force. Or if the Russians are right, join Russia’s side and bring it to a quick end. It is because our country lacks commitment that enboldens the invasion. That is my piece. If it’s sanctions, do it properly even if it hurts our economy, and be willing to accept that it hurts me more than it hurts you.

    Enough on war, this week, I found a 200 mile race. It is out in Nebraska, in November, brrr. They say it is a good race for first timers. I am keeping my eyes on it. I won’t be brave enough to run it this year but maybe next or two years from now. This might be the race for me. Then I can claim the 200 mile feat.

    Also I came across someone who tries to run from Florida to Canada. I learned there is another trail beyond the Appalachian Trail. From this I came across the trail race, Pinhoti 100. I am hooked. This might be my next 100 mile race.

    The next 100 race is still up in the air. I likely will do the Outer Banks one, called the Blackbeard 100, because it is on my list “for a long time” (like maybe since last year). Blackbeard is a road race. Yet Pinhoti is on trail and I like trail racing over road running.

    Next year’s schedule is a bit packed. I want to travel to see some mountains, specifically doing the Annapurna Trek in Nepal. I should not sign up for so many races. I feel a bit of cold feet on the trip at the moment. I’m not giving up on it yet but I am leaning of putting it off for another year. Don’t know why I’m feeling reluctant to commit, maybe the funding is not where I want it to be. In 2020 I saved a lot and was glad. 2021 I had a break even year. I made a lot of money but also spent a lot (20k+ went into investing, which I considered as spending). Otherwise if not for my spending/investing, I should have enough saved up for the trip by now. Ya, I am hoping to budget around 20k, I think 10k should be enough though. Sorry, first world problem. How much of that do I have? About a couple thousand I can spare at the moment, which is only enough for the airfare. But my car is about to be paid up and by summer, I should have money rolling in, if everything continues as now and by the time of next year, I should reach my funding goal.

    Along the line, I came across a streamer and he is planning to walk across the US while eating Subway sandwiches or whatever the store has. I don’t want to give a shoutout being a shy person I am, but you can probably find him (or them) on twitch under Subway Sean if you google for it. He will start out in May, likely May 1. This kind of thing blows my mind. I really wish I could do that. I don’t know when I can get my own Tran-Con rolling. I would be sad if I die and have not done a transcontinental crossing on foot.

    As for my life this week, I have nothing much to write about. The struggle is real. I have not run at all in the past week. I couldn’t focus much on anything. But guess what? Newport News Marathon is this Saturday. I will write about it in the next post or next next post (ya, usually now I wait two weeks to post something current).

  • Day429

    Contentless entry. Writing this more to myself because its another week. I want to keep up with a weekly posting so the blog wouldn’t bit rot. So want to do some computer coding at this moment! give me a math problem so I can pound it out on the keyboard. Wait I don’t even have a computer any more.

    I am on a down week – no trip planned and no anything big planned. A cool lowkey weekend though I want to redo the run I suppose to do last week, which is the true 50K run instead of just 25K at Catoctin. Poll: who think I will go and do it?

    My next race won’t be until August. I should be training for it but … it seems still so far away and I feel I can just wing it.

    It is ok to have an unscripted weekend. I need the time off. Nothing on the agenda.

    I started playing games now. Stardew Valley and Final Fantasy 4. They are old…but I am picking it up now. Nearly 20 hours into it. Yes, more time on it almost compare to working.

    I’m back to being a ‘degen’ – a buzz word now on twitch. I sleep whenever, usually at very odd hours. I am active when when most people go to bed (10pm or later). Maybe it is an excuse for training for night runs. I love night runs.

    Trying to find motivation again to run…where is the flame when I need it. I read from somewhere, motivation comes after we start doing something. The best way to get motivated for a run is to go and run.

    As for closing this entry, I did something positive by thinking a bit of how to train for my November 100 miler. I listed out the things I needed at the aid stations. It was a good start.

    Been thinking on life goals again. I think I have my vision/mission statement, and I have a few intermediate goals. Should I share them? I need to do something big and urgently – I want to go somewhere…like to Annapurna. That’s for now

  • brief post – Day414

    Trying to keep this short because I had nothing to say. I had a lot of ideas whenever I run, but afterward, especially the next day they vanish.

    I had done several long runs from work to home since I last posted about it. They are not super long, but 16-19 mile run is just long enough to kill you, in that you can’t do it every day. I done it about 4-5 times, about twice a week. And I started to dread running home from my workplace.

    It is fun whenever I do it, but dreading it at the same time. It takes about a little over 3 hours and on a slow day 4 hours. I usually get home before 10. Lately I have been watching the sun sets as I run.

    The aftermath is exhaustion, knee pain, and shin pain, and muscle pain. I know I am over doing it when too many kinds of pain involved. Recovery for the next couple days usually is slow, meaning little to no running. My first run afterward would be horrible.

    Lately I have been getting a mixed bag of good and bad runs. Good runs are ones when you feel the body and world mesh together and you have the flow and the run is effortless. Bad runs, is not even a run. Every step is heavy and no matter what you do, you are not in gear. Either the breathing is not right, the step is not in sync, and the strides are just weird. It is like you don’t know how to run any more. Probably more on this in another post. But lately I have been having a lot of bad runs after the 100 miler. It is like I have to relearn how to run or “walk” but my feet are not cooperating.

    Got to go now. I wanted to share many other things like, on one of my runs home from work, I lost my wallet, and how later I got it back again, except that I canceled all my cards and I was kind of living a week without having access to my bank or credit. The wallet was returned full of cash (mine). But I spent like only $45 for the week and mostly on gas (petrol), which took a whole chunk of it. My heart bled. Because I felt I need to save the money, that is all I got. I now got all the cards replaced and I’m good again. We depend so much on credit and electronic payment.

    Also, why I spent so much time on twitch – because streamers build rapport with their viewers. When I watch them, I felt like they are my friends even though ya they have hundreds if not thousands of viewers. I had too much social media. My brain is noodled.

    of course, lastly the shootings. our nation is going through crazy stuffs. We got to ask is it even normal? Mass shooting happens so frequently, I don’t even know how to react. Mourn, yes. As as an Asian, have experienced hates, no, not any where near as what posted on the media. Not saying they don’t exist, but that I was glad it has not happened to me. I haven’t been bothered on my runs here and I felt safe even when I was in Atlanta or Houston.

  • Day412 random

    Don’t really have much to write but trying to throw something together here while on my way to work.

    I’m taking the train today and plan to run back home after work. Maybe a little crazy. The mileage from google map is 14-15 miles but some of those are on roads without sidewalks, so I will have to make some detours. The final mileage probably around 20 miles or more.

    How long will it take? 3-6 hours. No idea. I ran the route last year on a weekend and I got home around 11 pm, but that time I was taking a big detour to my mom’s place, adding in like 10 miles. I should get home probably by 10 tonight, hopefully. I will get home eventually.

    CRAW – virtual running around the world, our team is near finishing the region. My team and I are excited. We’ve been on this pampas region (S.Amer) for 10-11 weeks, since the beginning of the year. We need to get it done. We are around 100 miles away, which is about 3-4 days, give that we run 30 miles a day as a team. Personally though, I wish we could finish it today.

    I did some calculations, we will finish going around the whole world by summer 2022, maybe by late summer. I haven’t tell our team that to not dampen their spirit. We know we won’t finish it by end of this year, but no one knows we will be 6-8 months behind. We are currently about 2 months behind. The next region might be our last.

    As you can see, I am probably in a post marathon blue. Not because of the CRAW. This usually happens to me after a hard race. I guess I was spent.

    The weekend run was pretty hard. I have not experienced dying inside in a race. That was how it is. I hit a low point and never got back up. Hope tonight run would be a good shakeout.

    GLHF everyone! (good luck have fun- twitch gaming abbr)

  • Day399 Flex

    those who served, vienna Fairfax

    Not trying to make any statement…just something I saw on my run

    Why is the flag flown at half staff? anyone? Is it because of last week? “insurrection?”

    Short blog today… my sister said my blog is always too long.

    Learned a new web thing today. TL;DR

    I thought it was a typo people put on their blog. I used to code in html right, and I thought sometimes the code accidentally got leak to the page.

    Oh, it means don’t read any further (Too long don’t/didn’t read)

    Got a new pair of shoes…hope to try them this weekend. to break them in

    Brooks…Cascadia – Black with orange strips

    Meta: yes another filler post

  • Day359 random friday?

    I will just leave a bunch of stuffs here. Never mind I usually do that any way.

    I signed up for a marathon! Not going to say it for fear of jinxing it. But yes there is a real marathon! There will be social distancing and stuff. I signed a waiver saying I won’t sue if I got Covid19 from it. I am excited. Yet just like Rock N the Knob I have to stay quiet! There are spots left…People if you are reading this go sign up. It is a real race except I try not to be too hyped about it.

    Did I finish the report for Rock N the Knob?

    I had this plan you know – I need a lot of miles and now my workplace has moved closer to where I live, it only takes me 45 mins to get to work instead of 1:20 min, I am thinking of running to work.

    I haven’t planned it out yet. This is likely what I want to do. Take the bus in, and then run home at the end of the day. I am looking at a 18-20 mile run. It is doable. I get home before midnight.

    My training also is calling for a night run. Someone on a local cycling group posted a 70 mile route in my area. I kind of want to try it. I have done part of it over the summer when I went for a out-and-back 60 miles. This is a loop course, so I want to try it one Friday night. My workplace is nearest to the trail head, so I am thinking of driving to work and leave my car there then head for the trail at the end of the work day and run 70+ miles. I should be done by Sunday and either sleep in my car or attempt to drive home in the wee hours. One of the problems I could think of is will they let me leave my car at work over the weekend? It would be a bummer at the end of my 70 mile run and my car is no longer there and have to run another 20+ miles home.

    Laurel Highland race is this weekend (Tonight actually) for those who are doing it. They will get to the bus stop by 3 in the morning. I already defered my entry. Still I wanted to attempt a 70.5 mile run this weekend. I know it won’t be as hard as the Laurel run since there won’t be any elevation here in the city. But this weekend is pretty booked. I got work being spilled over (end of the fiscal year). I really want to do the run though even if it is a local run.

    Yes, I need to focus on my rocky raccoon training. Week 1 is over and I have done about 13 miles so far.

    remind me – I need to get a training plan in place.

  • Day333 content

    I like special numbers. There is a thing my friend got me started. Like if you look at the time and the number repeats itself, such as 09:09 or 12:12, I would make a mental note – Hey this is special I should pause and remember it! Crazy right!? I have been doing it…for years…it is not like I am at 12:11 and wait for it to turn 12:12. It has to be unexpected. You would think it comes by every hour and every day, but usually such occurance is rarer than you think and that you only notice it comes only every once a while.

    Another thing I do is if the month and date ended up repeating, e.g., Aug 8. This I do try to remember and wait for and I try to line up the time too Aug 8, at 8:08. I usually miss it too. I missed July 7 by a couple days.

    Any way, I like to make a wish during that time. Call it Prayer or whatever. That is my special moment. You should do it too.

    What all this random gibblish all about? I watched a lot of Youtube videos over the weekend. They are really all gibblish but they are also so attrative, that I can’t pull myself away. They draw eyeballs, at least mine!

    I have been thinking too I need content for my blog. Not that drawing eye balls is my goal. For me, since day one I didn’t expect readers/followers but was so happy too when I got a few followers on my blog. There are a ton of bots or zombies but they are okay — nothing I can do. This is a public blog so…even if it is private I don’t think you can kick bots from following.

    I feel blogging is like doing a youtube video, except maybe a lot easier. You have to put a lot of time and planning in a video even if it is just random gibblish.

    So the concern of a youtuber is a blogger’s concern too. By thinking too hard on having content, it becomes like one of those youtube vids, zero content, but people still watch them.

    I just wasted a post…Day 333 should have been a special blog post. Heehee, maybe this contentless post will draw in some eyeballs.

  • Day311 random rambling

    Last night I couldn’t fall asleep again. It wasn’t because of worrying but because I was just too excited after a run. Reminded me why I shouldn’t run at night. Adrenaline was pumping through me in the wee hours.

    So I wrote the below. It is kind of stupid rambling, which I am embarrassed to post, but it kind of make sense of what I am going through.

    The older I am, the slower I become. Time seems to stop, like the last two weeks.

    —-

    Time moves so fast.

    There are so much I want to do. Yet to do each thing takes up so much time.

    When I am doing a lot, I feel tired.

    When I am tired, I don’t feel like doing anything

    There were times when I was not tired and I was also doing a lot. Those times were when I was young.

    I tried two weeks without doing anything. I succeeded in doing nothing. I was afraid if I remain like that I could stay like that.

    I looked back at all that I did. Some things were really impressive, but in the end I felt still was not enough.

    I want to have a hobby, something I do besides work. When you work, you can’t remember what you do. On the day say you can’t work any more, like on your death bed, people won’t think on the day you went to work and put in a normal day of work. Yay, I set up the fax machine this week for my work place and I was proud of that, or I reconfigured the firewall at work, I was very proud of that too. I so much want to tell the whole world how I fixed those problems.

    I felt accomplished, but mostly whenever I think back of the last few years, I can only recall one or two highlights of my life and none of them were work related. I remember my trip to the Grand Canyon a few years ago. For the first time in my life I traveled! Paid for with my own money and went and had a good time. My second trip was to Peru and stepped on the Inca Trail, and that was man Amazing! Holy Cow I was standing on an ancient site. My third trip was to Chile. No doubt not anything less. Of course I run and many if not all were marvelous (at least to me). They are like breath to me.

    Work is important, but what give meaning to life, is usually the little things or time that I spent outside of work. I need work, but it does not define me. Yet we put so much time into it, especially for guys.

    Who care that I solved seemingly impossible things at work? I enjoyed doing those a lot, but it is like normal. Done and forget about it. Move on to the next thing. But when it comes to doing something special outside of work, they are remembered for a lifetime.

    When running won’t be fun any more is when I treat running as work. I work toward it to become better and to improve my performance. I hope one day that never happen. Recently though, running has taken a back seat. So reason for this post.

    How do I know what I want to do?

    This morning though, my muscles were sore. Boy. You always have to pay a price. 6 miles is causing me to limp. Ya, what did I do. Hope ya enjoy reading!