Category: life

  • Day410 my unicorn (goals)

    -Running a 200 miler. I have no desire to do this actively yet as I did for the 100 miler. 2-3 days of not sleeping…yike. Just too brutal. I won’t close this door prematurely. It would be awesome if I do it, but I won’t cry about it if I don’t. It might take me 5 years to get there. 200+ and beyond only attracts very few selected runners. It is an exclusive club. If I think a 100 mile is insanity, 200 mile, I have no word. Yup, same mentality I had when I started running marathons, how could someone run the hundred. This is probably the cheapest of all goals. Mental though is a tough goal.

    Running across the US. This is definitely epic. It is beyond me right now to do something like this. Limit by funding and the fitness level to do it. And the logistics. I don’t have a crew. It has been hard building my community even for the 100, luckily I did my 100 without a crew. Ya, it is hard to convince 2-3 friends to spend the summer with you traveling across the country. They would be as nut as you. And it is a one shot thing. There are maybe thousand people who had done it. Yet if I ever got to run this, I will definitely be changed to a different person (a unicorn). Also to tell the world about it. This will test my organization skill.

    50 states. This is just a matter of time to achieve to run a marathon in each state. It is more a logistical issue than ability. However, if I could do it within the next 5 years, it would be sweet. When I finish it, definitely would be a cap. Just a matter of time and money. I am of course racing against time, the older I am the harder to run a marathon. I just want to get it done and over with. Still have 43 more states to go. Probably the easiest of all goals.

    7-continent. Run a marathon in each continent over 7 days. This is probably just a money issue. And a publicity stunt. I have not much a desire that I need to do this, yet if the opportunity presents, I won’t turn it down. Costs about 30-50 grand to do it. Fitness too, but I think I can get my body ready for it. Having run a 100 miler over 2 days, 7 marathons in 7 days is not that much harder. Maybe about twice as hard. There are organizations out there that handle the logistics, so it is not as daunting as it seems. Just a one time cost. As long as I save up, then this dream is possible. This is kind of my honeymoon wish.

    Appalachian Thru Hike. This is so dope. Probably of all my dreams, this ranks the top. I won’t deny it. Definitely my dream to live on the mountain for a season. If I ever get to do this, it is definitely a new chapter in my life. I won’t be the same if I did this or any of the thru hikes. Thousands of people do this every year.

    I have a bunch of other bucket list items, but these few are my top favorites. None other than the 50 states, do I have a good chance in finishing.

    The next 5 to 10 years will be interesting. It will be whether I can live a life freely doing what my heart leads or doing the same boring things day after day. Of course, I want so much to step out my comfort zone and abandon all fears and reasons to chase the dream. They all require insane amount of time and money. One impossible goal a year, we get them done.

    Most of my time though is spent away building up resources so that I can go out to do this kind of things. These are the unicorn goals. (unicorn: rare/mythical borderline unrealistic goal)

  • Day408 update

    Not much to update. My daily run is a bit better. My legs no longer feel heavy. However, I am still running very slowly. It is breathing problem now. You know, when you think you are out of breath, and have to stop running.

    It has been hard to run fast and far again. My fastest speed currently is around 11-12 min per mile. Most days were much slower (14-15). I used to run around 9-10 min per mile. Yes, I am slow. I remember 4 years ago, 8-9 min were normal.

    I feel like the vintage game Excitebike, if I push myself too fast, I would be ‘overheat’ and have to stop at the side of the road as penalty. I spent most of my run walking to “cool down”. I am not really overheat in the traditional sense, but I feel like my whole body screaming saying stop running. It is frustrating that most of my run is walking. I run every few steps (30 secs), and I would feel I couldn’t run any more and have to slow down to a walk. Then I feel good again and run a few more steps. It takes maybe 6 miles everyday to ‘warm up’ before I could run normally. Then it is a joy to be out.

    This is actually an improvement. I know I am getting back to normal. I am happy to be out there.

    I do wonder though, would it has been better if I take a month or two off before running again. I don’t know. I feel as soon as I get back out the better.

    Sleepwise, I finally reset my schedule. No longer do I go to bed at 8 pm. No longer do my body feel cold by night fall, which makes me want to go to bed.

    Yesterday evening was super warm, 50 F, but all my hands and feet were icy cold. I had on three layers, with a sweater. After a mile, I had to take all those off but the long sleeves.

    Saying this because I think something is wrong with my body. Originally I thought because I am hungry, so I was cold. But lately I started eating dinner at 4 pm, still I get cold around 5 pm.

    Anyway, the cold does not hamper me as it did during the first week back. I am in week 3 now.


    I want to put this somewhere. They say in a long race (50k or longer), to walk uphill and run downhill. I have been doing that. However, in a 100 mile, by doing only that, by the end of it, my muscle was so overused for running downhill. I started to hate every downhill. Need to balance, for those who are thinking doing long races.


    Misc. Also this should go somewhere, but I probably would not have an entire post on it. This week, I learned a late well respected preacher Ravi Zacharias, was found to live a double life (and would possibly have been charged for his sexual misconducts if he was still alive). I was late in learning about it. Most people already commented it on Feb 12, when the investigative report was released. It was a bombshell. It was not just an oopsie but was really bad because he did it over a long period and involved countless of victims and everyone around him was lied to. I then searched on Youtube for responses. I was surprised only mostly the younger crowd (people I never heard before) made some type of reactions. I am still processing it. I was hoping to hear from his peers or family. I guess his conducts were so horrible, there is nothing but condemnations and the older crowds rather kept their silence (there were couple of them now). Everyone was caught off guard because he hid it so well. My two-cent.

    How is the guy affected me? Not much. I listened to his talks before and he was a powerful speaker, but I never a follower of his stuff. It was never really my preference. Still it was a surprise how he set up the whole scheme around the world. Infamous. It is like something I would do – the big brain ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Day405

    I’m still savoring the run at the Rocky Raccoon. I was disoriented during the race and immediately afterward of putting together much coherent thoughts. Time flies.

    My sleep pattern is out of wack too. I did not get much sleep beforehand. There was no sleep during the race. And I slept a lot afterward when I finished (in the afternoon time). So after I got back to the east coast, for the past few days, I have been going to bed around 8 ish, and woke up a little past midnight. Usually I only need 4-5 hours of sleep. Then stayed awake for the rest of the night. It is out of wack.

    How is my body recovering? It has been better than if from a marathon. I felt slight sore but nothing major. I haven’t run for the past few days not because I couldn’t but because just trying to catch back up with life.

    Also going to bed early was in conflict with my normal night time running.

    Healthwise, I have been taking it easy. I know my body immune system is weaken after a long run so I let it recover on its own. I did not feel in top shape. At night after dark for the past few days, I just couldn’t stand the cold. Going to bed early help.

    There is the concern of catching Covid. I plan to get tested either at the end of this week or early next week. When you are on higher alert every little thing changed to your body spooks you. I don’t feel strong. My muscle aches; I felt cold; my throat kind of hurt; I had slight dizziness. Did I imagine it? Were these the effects from the run or am I getting sick?

    I have been staying low. No running for three days. Trying to find the new normal.

    One thing I found very perculiar during the run is my back hurt. Duh. No I mean my upper back – more like the shoulderblade areas, especially my right side. At first I thought because I run with the pack. Then I don’t have the pack on. I think my muscle there is weak. You can see some runners with their backs hunch over. I felt like that. It takes a lot of strength to keep the body upright. I definitely have to do something about that before the next race.

    What after this? I have to start training for the Laurel Highlands. I think it is harder than Rocky Raccoon because of the elevation. Rocky Raccoon has only 1000-2000 ft gain. Laurel Highlands, I am guessing 10000-20000 ft. Also the trail is not as forgiving as the Rocky Raccoon. I hiked on there and I know.

    oh, counting battle scars, I think from Rocky Raccoon, I had couple minor blisters, not worth mentioning. The strategy of switching shoes every 20 miles worked. My biggest “battle scar” I think is I might lose a toe nail. I kicked a rock or branch early in the race because a pair of shoes has very thin layer up front for toe protection. I think it is a gym/walking shoes. See, I am happy after this long race, I am still relatively well all around. I am more than pleased.

  • Day403 update

    I’m still here. Just have been goofing off on twitch. I wish I can tell you all the weird stuffs I found there. I mostly watch music streams though, but a lot of IRL chats (in real life) are quite entertaining. I watched like 8 hours of a guy biking in Japan (Robcdee). If you want to waste time go on stream. It is not just for gamers. anyway…

    Just want to let my readers/followers (twitch uses followers) know that in about 30 hours I will be going to Texas. I am excited and pumped.

    Yes it is for a race/run. A 100 miler. The race will last around 30-32 hours. If I run it under 30 hours I can have my name entered in a drawing for the Western States, which is like the crown race for Ultras.

    I have semi packed my suitcase. It is a bummer because I hate packing. I want to bring everything and half of my stuffs do not fit. I will have to repack it tomorrow night. Now I just chill and go to bed.

    I booked my hotel and car rental today. Yes the trip is on unless for any last minute change, which I don’t expect any. I handed off the stuff needed to do at work. Anything should be taken care of. As I know this trip is a go.

    One last thing is food. I will figure that part out once I land. Orignally I wanted to shop here and bring what I need there so I don’t have to go to the supermarket to reduce the risk of exposure of the coronavirus. It cant’t be help.

    Also I will be staying Houston instead at the race location, figuring first it is cheaper and second, everything is more readily available in Houston. The airport is nearer and some good restaurants too.

    The race site though is an hour away, so I will probably get up at 3 in the morning. Race is at 7 but check in is at 5. Then it is 30 hours.

    I hope there will be phone signal so I can update the world my progress during the race. If it is not available, then people just have to wait until next week when I am back.

  • Day402 dream

    I dreamed last night with many loud noises. I was not in a thunderstorm but it sounded like I was. There were a lot of loud rumbling. Very loud sounds. I was on the verge of waking up but I was not yet there. I wanted to make sense of the sounds hoping to see some pattern in them and wanted to sleep more.

    I did see a lot of blinding flashes but they were not lightning. There were no shape or pattern, just white flashes filled my vision. It was not all dark, but I couldn’t see anything. After a while, everything was quiet and very dark and I woke up.

    Does it correlate to what I was doing during the day? I listened to a lot of music channels on twitch last couple weeks and it might have been sensory overloaded.

    Trip: Yup weird dream. Unrelated, but it affected me deeply that the trip to Texas might have be scraped and it might be what prompted the dream. I need a covid test within 3 days before boarding the plane. I would need another test before flying back. I will get tested, but it is another added uncertainty in my travel plan – like what if I got stuck in Texas for couple weeks? What would I do? I don’t mind not being able to fly out but not able to come back is another thing. Anyone in the Houston area able to take me in for couple weeks if I get stuck?

    Or plan B drive 22+ hours down there and back? Anyone up for a long drive? Plan C is don’t go.

    correction: testing is only required for international travelers, so I will be fine for going to Houston. It is still recommended to be tested before boarding the plane though for everyone safety

  • Day401 goofing off

    I found something that is better than yt. It’s tw!!

    why tw? Because you could instantly interact with the performers as they perform.

    Been spending 24 hr on it. Not sure why watching people singing and goofing off on camera for hours is so addicting.

    Some good ones though (those who called themselves professionally/classically trained) are not getting the view they should be getting but the goofey ones got tons of views

    I guess if people like good music they would go to a performance, but for some lightheart entertainment the web would do

    I found myself some streamers to follow. The coronavirus pandemic has pushed the gig economy to the web. Too bad there is no livestreaming runners on tw.

    Oh I did some running this week, so it was not all goofing off with watching vods.

    Why gamers change the term vid to vod? cooler I think. probably a vod means unedited. I know it stands for video on demand.

  • Day400 last review of 2020? (and into 21.1)

    I have been waiting for this day forever. Readers as you might notice the pattern that I have slow down my posting. It was a bit intentional on my part. I have been soft inting.

    I have mentioned many posts ago maybe around November that I was tilting… It became a hard tilt. I messed up big time. (gamer term). It might be even gg. (game over)

    I didn’t have much interest in running since. I usually only blog when I run — that just what I do. I find lot of energy and passion when I run, but when I don’t run my creativity is just not there. I stopped running that much for the last three or four weeks, so fewer blogs were posted. It was a hard tilt I am telling you. (gamer term)

    So here it is Day 400: A summary/highlight of the past 50+ days.

    You can check Day 350 for comparison. (love the search function and finally my day numbering is able to pull up the entry fast instead of scrolling to it).

    See my Day 396 for the review of the year. I will try to avoid doing the same thing. Same for the Top 10 pop-offs. If you have been following, there is not much new here.

    There were a lot going on as well as also not much going on. So ya hard to explain. I don’t write much about my down time. Winter is my down time because I am too lazy to run in the cold.

    Let focus on what I was hyped first. The biggest run I did was the Seneca/Stone Mill run. This has been mentioned in a few posts already. Looking back, it was not that scary at all. Fifty-miles is still a lot with Stone Mill being my second attempt at 50 but it came out to be a piece of cake. I was freaking out before the race, feeling I was under-prepared and was stressing about the hills and all. I only specifically trained for it the two/three weeks leading up. However, I ended the race feeling pretty strong. There were a bit of “weak” or low points during the event, but my strength came back every time. I saw people left and right were peeling away after the first 20 miler…but I kept getting a second wind and a third to out sustained them. The race was safely in the bag. Hey, I was not first or second or anywhere near the front pack, but I felt I won the race. It was just an awesome experience. Yo man, I wish I could run like that all the time.

    The next race after was the Devil Dog. I was hyped to be able to get an entry. It is one of highly sought after in our area. DC area does not have ultras. This one is it besides Seneca. This year they limited the number of participants. But I got myself an entry. It was just a 50k, but I might say, this was harder than Stone Mill. I enjoyed the challenge. There was grit and all the grind to get the race to the finish. I highly recommend this for those who love slugging it out. This was the race. Their real distance is a 100 miler, so some day I got to attempt the real thing, but the 50k gave me a feel for it the Devil Dog it was.

    Gettysburg was a fun one. A marathon. I think was the only fall marathon I did. It was short, fun, picturesque. I went up to Pennsylvania one early chilly morning to do it. Duh, the famous Gettysburg. I did not have much memory of the event. It was small, peaceful, and a successful run. I love running marathons. This was one of them. I have done so many, so this one was one of the low-keys (not that it was not good, but I had so many super good ones, and a normal marathon seems to be normal-boring and does not stand out). It might be the last ever because the race organizer told us they won’t be able to get the permit for us to run in the national park any more (I think also neighbors didn’t like us running on their roads too). That is the rule for most/all national parks, i.e, no organized sport event. So I kind of feel fortunate to be able to have done it. Last time of running through the hallow ground. They said they will try to still have the race next year but without going through the park. I still would recommend people to do it.

    I also had many spectacular personal runs besides races. Signal Knob was one. I ran on Bull Run Trail. And Waterfall Mountain. Spent many weekends on the Senecca Trail. You guys just have to go back to read them. I am kind of lazy in linking them or to tell you why they were great. I think they were memorable because they had to do with slugging it out. A run might seem super hard at first, but in the end, I did it. Overcame!

    I did some group runs with the Virginia Happy Trail people (VDM1/VDM2). Rock N the Knob was good too. Well that was a race. It had the social vibe. As well as hard. I love hard runs.

    All these might not make any sense now to me since there was a big gap in time. I tried to think of I had learned, maybe something profound in this period, such as did I grow in my running?

    Runners struggle too. I try to think what motivate us to get out on a cold and nasty day to run? And usually by ourselves for a long extended time. Sometimes when everything click it does not need that much motivation at all. But there were times even when the weather is pleasant, I can’t seem to push myself out of the door.

    I call that the big tilt of 2020. I seem to gloss over what went wrong. One was after getting a speeding ticket, I didn’t want to drive out to the country side any more. I felt I was being (unfairly) picked on and there was just a fear it would happen again. This fall I had switched from running on the road to running on trails, and when the trail was not available, there was very little incentive for me to run. I have been staying in the last 3-4 weeks.

    A Second problem I had was with time management. If you want to do something you had to do it quick and early or else other things would be unendingly get in the way.

    And if you want to do something, you have to do one thing a day and only one thing. This should be my philosophy.

    However, I started sliding when I tell myself there is still much time left in the day. Yet time flies! I felt cheated each time I look at the watch and it shows like 5 minutes to the hour. Reason is my mind divides the hour into 100 units instead of 60. However, 50 minutes is not halfway, however, my brain thinks 50 is halfway. Before I knew it, hours go by and daylight becomes night and when it is dark outside I don’t feel like running. We only have about 8 hours of daylight. My mind always think we have 24 hours or at least 12. Noo, only usually got 8. And useable hours is usually only 2 or 3 hours “personal time”. So unless I run, those hours can easily disappear, Even on weekends! No especially on the weekend. Don’t you feel weekends are always so packed?

    Hence, only should try to do one thing and one thing only. And Start early! TL;TR

    Also, usually by the time it gets dark, I also get hungry. By the time I cook, and eat and clean up, it would be time for bed. Every day I went through that same cycle and was unable to get myself out the door for a run. A big tilt! Yes, if I have a schedule,…, and follow…, then I wouldn’t waste time. Still I think motivation has something to do with it. A bog word but very hard to pin down. Where is my motivation?

    I have been seeking that passion to re-ignite the flame in me. So that once I run, I don’t ever want to stop. I know I have it, but hard to bring it to the table sometimes.

    Outake? My Raccoon 100 is coming up in a few weeks. Yes I need to get hype up and so do my prep.

    Hope this post isn’t too long. Next post (Day 450) will be about the raccoon race and where I’ll go from there. Maybe more on motivation stuff. Until then PIZZAA (peace-z-out)

    p.s. see, it is Saturday here my time, but instead of writing what I’ll be doing today as I usually would, I was reflecting…see more tilting on the way

  • Day399 Flex

    those who served, vienna Fairfax

    Not trying to make any statement…just something I saw on my run

    Why is the flag flown at half staff? anyone? Is it because of last week? “insurrection?”

    Short blog today… my sister said my blog is always too long.

    Learned a new web thing today. TL;DR

    I thought it was a typo people put on their blog. I used to code in html right, and I thought sometimes the code accidentally got leak to the page.

    Oh, it means don’t read any further (Too long don’t/didn’t read)

    Got a new pair of shoes…hope to try them this weekend. to break them in

    Brooks…Cascadia – Black with orange strips

    Meta: yes another filler post

  • Day398

    This won’t be a full blog, just some thoughts.

    I was looking into microblogging but not the popular ones.

    I joined discord last year, when I wanted to listen a live stream of a translator of a web novel I was following. It is a cool piece of software.

    I thought it was an open souce. I am a big friend of linux and stuff where anybody can come and code. Sadly it is not. It is the next big thing though. If the company goes public, I might invest in it. Keep an eye on this.

    Anyway, discord is an amazing concept. It is a bridge between a traditional social media and the “new” easier, voice chat.

    I was looking something like that but is open source. I didn’t find anything close.

    I used to use identica before it changed to pump. It is still available but that seems to be dying.

    I was not a big friend of diaspora. I installed that before but couldn’t keep that running. Also that project seems to be at a deadend.

    Friendica looks ugly and I never really fall in love with it.

    I just found mastodon. This seems to be viable.

    I am not too into irc, so discord is not my thing. Microblogging, I am warming up to the idea. Mastodon seems to be my thing… I just need a server to run it.

    Somewhat relating. I used to use ikiwiki to blog. Oh how time has changed.

    why this post? A filler ๐Ÿ™‚ I need to get to Day400

    update: I gave into the big corps. I started twitter at the end of year