In awe

Category: life

  • Day331 Your Turn

    I don’t usually share other people’s content. I just don’t promote other people’s sites or writing. It is just not me. Maybe because if I draw attention to other people, I will draw attention to myself. And my MO is not to draw attention to myself.

    But I just came across a content I just want to share. I have been thinking of “how to remake my life”. Not sure why I want that to be in quote. I feel like and I know it when I started this blog is that this is my life project. I want to make a new version of me to chase after my dream, and this blog would hold me to that promise.

    The video from Tim & Fin resonates so much. I watched their travel video to Vietnam and I was saying to myself, I want to to do that. Is it possible to get on a bike and travel across a foreign country without knowing the language or culture (I’m from Vietnam but to me it is foreign land).

    So here it is. Of course it is on Youtube.

    Watch it and tell me what you think.

    I might not be as radical as them to quit my day job and travel around the world. However, it does draw to the fact what is more important in priority. Doing the things you like and have your work support what you do – even if it calls for quiting the normal 9-5 job.

    They are really smart people.

    Their other videos are great too. I haven’t watch much, because I just discover their channel.

  • Day328 some math

    I spent a few days exploring various models hoping to get a sense of where this coronavirus is heading. Since I was planning a trip back to Atlanta, and I hear all this news about a surge of infection and I can see that myself, so I was trying to see if there is a maximum and how long will it last.

    The short answer is no one knows. I think when I arrive in Atlanta it might be the peak of the crisis.

    Things are not looking good in Atlanta. They are having 4000 infections a day in Georgia, and it is possible they might get to 10,000 like in Florida and Texas in next couple weeks. (Made me wonder on Georgia, Florida, Texas, or Arizona’s reopening stategy)

    10,000 is high. I don’t think will ever get to 20,000. I finally understand the magnitude of the number. I was before thinking hey we have a million people in a city and 10x that in a state, 10,000 is just a fraction (1%, or 0.1%). Many people were saying the news are over hyping the severity of the pandemic.

    I almost attempted to do my own forecast but I found many models were already available on the web. One was the SIR. (there is a website from someone making this very easy).

    It divides the whole population into three groups, the Susceptible, the Infected and the Recovered.

    An observation I had, was most models focus on the initial weeks of the spread where the infection point is small (like 1-1000). The time frame was usually the first 4-8 weeks.

    I need a model where we are in the midst of the pandemic, where the infection is every where! And it is no long weeks, we are into months.

    Another observation is most models (99%) expect to reach a steady state after a time, that is the infection would die out! This might be true with most outbreaks. Did they say there could be a second wave?

    The total of infections/deaths curve when graphed would be an s curve (logistic curve). And the rate of infection would be a bell shape.

    Seeing some S shape curves in a few states make me to believe too the pandemic was over.

    Something I didn’t understand when I took the probability class in college when the professor kept talking about density function and I kept thinking what the heck it has to do with density.

    Suddenly after couple decades, it connected. I was dividing the rate of infection by the population and graphing it. It came to me this is a density curve. I had an ureka moment. This stuff is related to probability. You can calculate the sum of the area under the curve to find the probability of an event (I used to hate words like that: Event, Random Variable, Function)

    Summary/out take. I stopped my work. I am too lazy to pull data and do the math to carry it to the end. It takes too much time and effort. Playing around with different models I had some learning experience and it was useful. The practical aspect is I might be arriving in Atlanta at the peak of things this time around. Does this change my mind about taking my trip? Probably not.

    Morality side: there was a sense of ‘righteous’ anger from people when they saw certain segment of the society blatantly ignoring social distancing by going to bars and beaches in the middle of a pandemic just for their pleasure, making the pandemic worse for everyone. I do too, so I have to balance out whether to travel or stay at home. (I heard this on NPR on Friday morning jul 24, also social shaming might not work so well).

  • Day326 Musing

    This is a bit of a musing. I might get censure by this.

    How bad the COVID-19? I am not a scientist or what they call it an epidemiologist.

    We know it is bad when stores were closed and we get sent home. It has been more than 4 months now for my area. 6 months since it was first arrived in the US.

    We saw other countries dealing with it, first China, then Korea, Italy and Spain before it got to the US. At that time it was worrying, but we still went in with doing our thing. Ad a matter of fact, I went and ran a marathon in California, around the time the first outbreak started in the US. And of course we blew it. At first, it was one or two states. But then the virus spreads uncontained to the rest of the country. By March 7, I remember clearly because a few days before, we have our first case in the washington DC area, MD, DC, and Virginia. I was worry whether my ultra marathon would be canceled that Saturday. Our race director decided to go on with the race.

    Following next few days as cases “skyrocketed”, many businesses started closing and we were in a “lockdown”. The politicians didn’t want to use the word lockdown because we do not want to be like Italy or China. We were urged to stay at home.

    The next few months, things started to be better. Most of the cases were happening in New York. Most of other states were spared. We slowly reopened.l businesses.

    I live in Northern Virginia, Washington, DC suburb. Life has for most part returned to a bit more normal, as we are in the phase 3 of the reopening. My company is still has the work-from-home policy.

    Now we are seeing an uptick in the infection number. Many southern states are entering a hotzone, Georgia, Florida, Arizona, Texas, and many others.

    Couple weeks ago, I traveled to Atlanta. There were concerned that I was heading into a hot zone, where cases were not as low as here where I am.

    The uptick of cases bring to light the flashpoint – whether to close/revert the reopening decision, or keep going forward with the reopening.

    Our nation is still as divisive as when we first entered this crisis. Many are in favor of reopening, such as having children back in the classroom. Many people – mostly politicians still arguing whether wearing masks is necessary. It is like a no-brainer for many people, yet there is a strong resistant in making this a mandatory in public places.

    So here I am, I am planning a second trip to Atlanta. It seemed on my first trip there, I survived! The question is how scary/dangerous this COVID? What is statistics? What does it mean to me?

    I get it that there are people who for “everyone stay put for 2-3 weeks, listen to the health official and we bend the curve”, However, it has not worked in the US. Why? Because people wouldn’t listen (including our top officials).

    The question is how serious it is? Are people overeacting?

    So I was trying to find some metrics to see what is safe/not safe. You would think there would be something like this available right? Some type of geiger counter like for radiation, but for COVID-19.

    So unable to find any, I think New York is the most sensible state. Yes, they had a big problem before, but their ways work. They put out one for their travel restriction that anyone coming into New York is from a state that has more than 10 infections per 100000 people, should go into a 2 week quarantine.

    By this standard, by now majority of the states (22), are on the quarantine list (I know, it is still under 25, not a majority yet).

    Is this standard too strict? I was trying to determine should I travel to Atlanta at the end of August? Based on this alone, the answer is no. When I was in Atlanta at the begining of July, Georgia had 27 daily infections per 100000 people. Now it is over 40 and is continue climbing up. A few states Florida, Texas, Arizona are between at 40-50. How bad is it?

    I was thinking where is the red line? What is the maximum possible? Is it 3 times that or 5 times that? I think I would probably be reluctant to travel if it is at 50-60 mark. 80-90? 150? Any state ever reaches 150? Will we have a real shut down if we get to 350? At what point where the system will become ‘critical’ or uncontaineable?

    Those states having over 40 daily infections/100000 are in serious problem? They are saying it is not as bad as what New York was. Georgia doesn’t think so. The governor is sueing cities mayors over issuing mask mandate in the mist of this! This is on another level of insanity. Florida yesterday implemented curfew. Arkansas announced mask requirement (one of the states that was against having one).

    All eyes are currently on the southern states Florida, Texas, Arizona, California, Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana.

    Personal experience is when I was in Georgia, man, people there were not that worry anout having a mask on. I was seemed like an alien for going into a store with my mask. I was thinking, this is a hot zone, yet no one seems to be much concern about it.

    Who to listen? Our president or the health officials? I love to listen when New York Governor laid it out. President is name calling. Is it the left trying to make the situation seem more dire than it is so that the President would lose his reelection?

    This blog was going to go on further on the number crunching that I have been doing last two weeks, but this has gotten too long, I will do it maybe on another day.

    P.S. I self-censored myself, so no number will be shown. I was going to delve into a lot of numbers. 🙂

  • Day324 up ahead

    These two weeks have been a pause to life. There was nothing to do. More like nothing I want to do.

    After the race, all the pressure is gone. I looked back at it a bit. There is a guy who is going to attempt it in six weeks (last weekend of August). I too am going to try it again. I booked my hotel and flight. I saved a bit money this time because of the price drop for flight. I could have saved much more on the hotel but I messed that up. If I booked my flight first I could get 20% on my hotel, but I booked the hotel first then the flight, so no 20% for me, that would have been $60 off. Still this second trip is already a lot cheaper.

    It is silly for me to think running is a form of pressure. I think it is the good kind. I don’t like pressure I get from work with deadlines and worry about career path. If I could live and not have to work at all, that would be ideal, but unfortunately, I am a mortal like everyone else, working is a fact of life. Even millionaires work. I guess I wish I can do the things I can enjoy, like spending my time to program stuffs.

    Just a few more days before my quarantine period is over – 48 more hours. I have been resting my body. For the first time, there is no ache or anything. They are all healed.

    Actually, I don’t think my body took that big a damage. I can say, I am 100% back to normal and ready to do it again.

    Enough digression. For next six-eight weeks, I plan to go to PA, WV, PA, and then a family camping trip.

    Next weekend: would be the virtual run trip to Camp Anderson. I need to get that done in July.

    The following week (last week of July), I would either rest or try Laurel highland or Seneca, in West Virginia.

    Then August, I need to make a trip to Laurel Highlands. Have to start training again.

    Then a week (first/second week of August) to rest up or do a local run (such snicker gap). I will leave a week unplanned. I could go down to grayson highlands if I am up for it.

    Third week in August would be family camping at Buffalo Park. Really don’t want to take a day off for this even though I have plenty of PTO available (20+ days)

    Fourth week of August would be my run in Atlanta again.

    There is not much time. Summer is passing quickly. I need to get back to speed.

    Constant high paced life and over commitment is not good. But sometimes it just can’t be helped.

    PS. I have been monitoring the Covid-19 situation in Atlanta. It is not good. Based on current available projection though the end of August should have some improvements. It is possible that Atlanta would have a lower Covid-19 count than here in Northern Virginia by then. Hopefully, they won’t require me to go into quarantine once I get there.

  • Day323 shirt or no shirt

    I am thinking of the next run. Should I wear shirt or not. I probably will but going to be in short sleeves.

    Nothing to write about. All so peaceful at home.

    Today is payday! I finally after 3 years maybe, have enough money to pay off my loan 🙂 Reach a Break even point. I used to have more money saved up (3-6 months of income). Then I started travelimg, running, and brought a car (3 cars actually), and also put more money in my retirement account, so about 5 years ago I started to get into debt and have been trying to dig myself out since then. Today there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

  • Day321 icecream

    Weekend is coming. I am in a self imposed quarantine. I had my food delivered to me by Amazon. It was a bit pricy. It was my first time using it (Amazon Fresh). I believe they over package – I ended with 10 bags or so. I ordered typically what I get from the local stores and usually it is like 3-4 bags. Usually I pay about $35. Online ordering, I didn’t get any discount so it ended up about 50% more expensive. I did ordered meat so those are a bit pricey. I know, because everything is organic, so those costed me more. I think Amazon is targeting the rich millenials. I got to suck it up for another week and then I will be free.

    Their packaging – They used a lot of bags. My icecream came in its separate bag, with foam wraped. Double and tripple wrapped. They had cardboard/paper surrounding on the outside and sealed that in another layer of bag. Good thing is it was still cold when I unwrapped everything. They made sure the icecream didn’t melt in the 90 degree heat. I laughed. It was like a mini fridge.

    My mom also brought food over. I told her I was not supposed to see her… but she thought I had nothing to eat. What can you say. The one who shouldn’t be running around should be her.

    Unrelated, I signed up a virtual race in PA. I will do it immediately once I end my quarantine. It will be at Camp Anderson. I have never been there. But a fellow runner I met on my last trip to PA recommended it. He is doing it too, though I don’t know which day he is running it. I am choosing July 25 to head up. We are given free camping. I haven’t decided to camp first then run or run first then camp.

    It will be an endurance run. I chose 6 hrs. You run as many loops (2 mile) as you can within the time limit. So I hope to do a marathon 13-14 loops. The loop is a bit less than 2 mile.

    that’s all. Happy weekend.

  • Day317 Second take

    I already made plan to try again at the end of August to run the same 100 miles again. After looking at what went wrong, I think I can get over the huddles. August can’t be hotter than now.

    Any way, once the time comes I will prepare better.

    Going to sleep on it for now. Hotel and flights are cheaper now than when I got them before. Maybe because of the coronavirus has become more severe, or maybe this time I am booking farther in advance.

    Body-wise, A bit sore all over. It was not as bad as my first half marathon/marathon. I remember back then, I couldn’t walk after finishing. I feel it when go up and down the stairs. I haven’t felt like this for a long time. And kind of happy about it – like old friend! Seriously, last time I was like this…I can’t recall, maybe two years ago in Delaware.

    I studied the strava/garmin data. I did slow down a lot. It was a downward trend. Yes, was a very bad news. In my mind, I thought I was staying steady, but data is showing otherwise.

    Going share some pictures of the run.

    Some memorable moments: poor man dinner/breakfast (chips), can’t see anything at night, even eternal water couldn’t quench the thirst (gosh I paid extra too), all the stuffs I lugged around on the run. And finally the poorman way of lamination the turnsheet.

  • Day312 The Crunch

    I am feeling the crunch, but things are happening. Wheels started spinning as I am in the final preparation. Final? No, more like finally getting my crap together. Things are taking shape.

    I had the maps printed out. 20+ pages of them. These are in addition to the paper map I brought. I have been so spoiled with water proofed maps , ones I used for my hiking (from National Geographic), but my street map for Atlanta is the newspaper quality and really poor stuff, really not for outdoor. I hate using it, especial I know there is a chance of rain. It will just melt when it becomes wet. I plan to go to FedEx tomorrow have it laminated, but then it will make it hard to fold. How I miss the National Geo ones. Those were the best. Will got to do what I have. I am thinking after laminating it to cut out portion I don’t need. Really am out of time for an art work project now and why did I not do it two weeks ago? Shooting my foot here.

    I got my map and have looked over it several times. I am at maybe 60-70 percent familiarized with it. There are some pitfalls and I noted those. I still wish to have the whole map memorized. I am out of time so more like will wing it. I do wish use Google map too (street view) to see some of the turns. But no time for that because that will take at least 5-6 hours. I don’t have that much time.

    To do: I need to circle out some spots where I can get food/ and bathroom breaks. Google map would help here.

    decision. Do I pack my food or do I buy them in Atlanta. What snacks am I taking along? Snacks will be my main source.

    to do: I need a list of food I will be eating

    To do: I supposed to be packed by now, but not yet.

    to do. making a packing list. Two lists, one for the run, and one for the trip. some important things are anti chafe cream and balm – you know certain areas are going to hurt really bad after rubbing it for 50+ miles. We are doing a 100 here. The worse thing is no way to swap gear at mid run. It is a do or die mission.

    accomplished. I got my final set of maps and have been going over couple of times. Felt very accomplished when I weeded out half the maps, I think I could do without.

    accomplished. I got the map traced out.

    accomplished. I got my turned direction printed out in two sided on to sheets of paper. To do need to laminate them because they are the most important thing to get me from start to finish.

    accomplished. set a start time for my run. After reading the facebook page of runners comments, I got a good idea of when I should start. Originally I was planning 5:30-6:30 start but people were advising an earlier one. I am moving at a start at 4:30 start. There should be just enough light.

    to do: talking about light! I need batteries for my flashlight and headlamp. Need to check all gear. plus spare. I never ran that long in the dark – we are talking from 9 pm to 4 am, good 7-8 hours of darkness.

    accomplished. researched the start location and the constraint. There are two main mountains: Kennesaw (the start) and Stone Mountain (the middle/finish at 63 mile). I need to get to Stone mountain before the gate closes. It closes at sundown so 8:30 ish. It takes me about 15.5-16 hrs to run that distance, granted I took a 2 hour lunch break on a previous 63 mile attempt. So looking at 14-15 hours, with no lunch break, I should start no later than 6 am to get to Stone Mountain by 8 pm.

    I don’t like taking risk, so I am thinking to start at 4:30. My Hotel is 45 mins away from Kennesaw. So It means waking up at 3 am, with 30 mins prep. I need to leave the hotel by 3:30 latest. Oh be the way, when I get to Kennesaw, I need to climb 1-2 miles up. Race starts at the summit.

    If the stars aligned, I hope to finish the next day early in the morning. I never done a 100 mile before…so all the calculation is useless.

    On Stone Mountain, I hope to back summit and down before sunset. say 8:30 or 9 pm. Then the next six hours, I hope to run back to the city, hopefully, get to mile 80-85 ish. I hope to see sunrise on my last stetch as I arrive back in downtown Atlanta. That will be the best case scenario. The expected scenerio is I will see sunrise at mile 85/87 on Peach St. I will run/walk the next 15 miles during daylight and arrive downtown at around noon. Got to finish no later 2:30 pm or will be disqualified.

    If I can’t reach Stone Mnt before Sunset, the race will be over and the run will be in vain.

    Also predicting finishing time is really up in the air. I was thinking of a midnight start, but I wouldn’t want to finish in downtown Atlanta at 2-4 am in the morning. 4-4:30 am starts is only appropriate.

    Kennesaw and Stone Mountain is really the two high points for this run.

    Tomorrow is really the last day to get all the things together. Thursday will be mostly execution: flying to Atlanta, get to the Hotel, make a pit stop to get supplies. Hit the bed as early as possible. Like 8 pm. Up by 3 am. Then show time.

    Decision. I might have to get all that I need at the airport after landing even though it is ridiculously expensive – water, sodas, candies, jerky, bread/sandwiches, and batteries. Then everything else will be picked up at a gas station/store along the run.

  • Day311 random rambling

    Last night I couldn’t fall asleep again. It wasn’t because of worrying but because I was just too excited after a run. Reminded me why I shouldn’t run at night. Adrenaline was pumping through me in the wee hours.

    So I wrote the below. It is kind of stupid rambling, which I am embarrassed to post, but it kind of make sense of what I am going through.

    The older I am, the slower I become. Time seems to stop, like the last two weeks.

    —-

    Time moves so fast.

    There are so much I want to do. Yet to do each thing takes up so much time.

    When I am doing a lot, I feel tired.

    When I am tired, I don’t feel like doing anything

    There were times when I was not tired and I was also doing a lot. Those times were when I was young.

    I tried two weeks without doing anything. I succeeded in doing nothing. I was afraid if I remain like that I could stay like that.

    I looked back at all that I did. Some things were really impressive, but in the end I felt still was not enough.

    I want to have a hobby, something I do besides work. When you work, you can’t remember what you do. On the day say you can’t work any more, like on your death bed, people won’t think on the day you went to work and put in a normal day of work. Yay, I set up the fax machine this week for my work place and I was proud of that, or I reconfigured the firewall at work, I was very proud of that too. I so much want to tell the whole world how I fixed those problems.

    I felt accomplished, but mostly whenever I think back of the last few years, I can only recall one or two highlights of my life and none of them were work related. I remember my trip to the Grand Canyon a few years ago. For the first time in my life I traveled! Paid for with my own money and went and had a good time. My second trip was to Peru and stepped on the Inca Trail, and that was man Amazing! Holy Cow I was standing on an ancient site. My third trip was to Chile. No doubt not anything less. Of course I run and many if not all were marvelous (at least to me). They are like breath to me.

    Work is important, but what give meaning to life, is usually the little things or time that I spent outside of work. I need work, but it does not define me. Yet we put so much time into it, especially for guys.

    Who care that I solved seemingly impossible things at work? I enjoyed doing those a lot, but it is like normal. Done and forget about it. Move on to the next thing. But when it comes to doing something special outside of work, they are remembered for a lifetime.

    When running won’t be fun any more is when I treat running as work. I work toward it to become better and to improve my performance. I hope one day that never happen. Recently though, running has taken a back seat. So reason for this post.

    How do I know what I want to do?

    This morning though, my muscles were sore. Boy. You always have to pay a price. 6 miles is causing me to limp. Ya, what did I do. Hope ya enjoy reading!

  • Day309 laying low

    I have been off the radar for almost a week after finishing the GVRAT race. It is still on going but I haven’t put much effort into it. The initial goal of running 1000k is done. I could go for the 2000k or even 3000k. Any way.

    Last few days have been a low point for me. When I run, I feel high, even when a run is very difficult and I would ask why am I doing this. But when I don’t run, it feels even worse.

    I haven’t done much in my personal life or running. Everything seems come to a halt.

    I am procastinating. Next week, July 4th weekend I will be heading to Atlanta to do my first 100 miler. It is a virtual race so I will be myself, but I will be running a actual mapped out course. Running aspect is tough. It is an endurance race. On top, it is the logistics, where to get food/drinks/bathroom. Since it is a self supported, I will carry most of stuff on me. There won’t be any place for me to swap out clothes or gear. Yup, lot of stuffs: flash light (s), phone, blinkers, safety reflector vest, socks, batteries, gps, watch, chargers, map, and turn-sheet. Navigation too will be tough, because I am poor at it. Then the stamina to stay awake and keep running. I am scared about the whole thing, so I have been hidding myself.

    Instead, I have burried myself in a chinese web novel (translated of course, since I can’t read chinese). I am reading Reverend Insanity. It is quite good apparently, but the ideology behind it is kind of mess up, but still it makes you want to root for the bad guy, like Death Note. It is definitely a Rated R novel, for death, violence and gore.